Going to see an apartment today
 

I talked to the landlord, explained my credit situation, and they are willing to work with me. I'm going to see the place today. I'm so nervous and just can't calm my mind because this is a huge step for me.

Once again the old thoughts are coming: The thoughts that are more concerned about his well being than mine. I often have to correct my thoughts as they come, because putting my well being first isn't coming natural right now.

It will be sad to go, but deep down it's for the best. This is the only way I can have some peace of mind. I feel better when he's not here. It's so depressing in this house, like a cloud over us.

Hooray. good luck!

Yup, keep those habitual little thoughts out of your mind right now. Keep putting yourself first. Trust me, he will manage. He's an adult. If you dropped dead tomorrow he'd manage.

Good luck with the apartment!!

You will be fine. Once they put the key in your hand remember it is a "key" to a new life for you! A "key" to a great future! I would put it on a brand new keychain symbolizing that you hold THE KEY that unlocks new opportunities!!! That's powerful!

Hi,
It is so hard to move out of your home. For some reason we cling to the hope that our AH/ or SO is going to change for us. I think, we are thinking logically. If it was reversed, we would do anything for them. But they are not thinking about anything but the next drink. I had to move out of my home of 14 years. It was probably the most difficult thing I've done in my life. I never thought I'd be in this position. I was going to grow old with my AH. That was about 6 months ago.
I have had no contact with him. I think it's the best way. I now have such a great sense of peace, and can finally think about myself. That was very hard for me being a caregiver. Time has helped. But I must say, there are days when I think I'm having a bad dream and I'm going to wake up, and my life will be what it used to be.
You will find you are taking a very large and difficult step, by moving out. You should be very proud of yourself!! You are stronger than you think.
This forum and the wonderful people here, are so caring and supportive. Please continue to post. I got my strength from all the support they gave me.
Please take care of yourself! It truely does get better.

Zircon

Thanks for the encouragement. The place was great and has everything I need. There were other people coming to see it right after me so that bummed me out a little bit. Well, I put my application in so I just have to wait and see.