Having a rough couple weeks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: New York, USA
Posts: 230
Having a rough couple weeks.
Maybe it's the end of summer, the closing of our camp for winter and not seeing all the grandkids every weekend, but it's been a rough couple weeks.
Summer was nice. Had little to no contact with AD after the graduation party. I didn't have to see her drunk and stumbling, laughing one minute, crying the next, then ticked off over something that no one had a clue to. Now the daylight is getting shorter, school is back and that means it's not long until the holidays.
I keep having this dream that I send her one letter, one last stab before I close this chapter. She reads it and the light comes on, she sees all the family has done for her, how she has hurt and used us, she goes and gets help, aw.......the dream is wonderful.
Then it's morning and I remember. I know I can send a thousand letters and she won't read past the first line, nothing clicks and she'll pour a drink to cope. I'll extend an invitation for dinner for the holidays all the time praying she won't show up and life goes on.
Just having a rough time.
Summer was nice. Had little to no contact with AD after the graduation party. I didn't have to see her drunk and stumbling, laughing one minute, crying the next, then ticked off over something that no one had a clue to. Now the daylight is getting shorter, school is back and that means it's not long until the holidays.
I keep having this dream that I send her one letter, one last stab before I close this chapter. She reads it and the light comes on, she sees all the family has done for her, how she has hurt and used us, she goes and gets help, aw.......the dream is wonderful.
Then it's morning and I remember. I know I can send a thousand letters and she won't read past the first line, nothing clicks and she'll pour a drink to cope. I'll extend an invitation for dinner for the holidays all the time praying she won't show up and life goes on.
Just having a rough time.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm sorry things are so sad and difficult.
I'd really suggest not inviting her for the holidays if you are praying she won't show up. An invitation means someone is welcome, and right now she isn't. If things change, you can welcome her back into your home, but inviting her now will only put you further on edge, I think.
Hugs,
I'd really suggest not inviting her for the holidays if you are praying she won't show up. An invitation means someone is welcome, and right now she isn't. If things change, you can welcome her back into your home, but inviting her now will only put you further on edge, I think.
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
B,
I have a copy of my email that I sent to axh 3 weeks before our divorce. Explaining all that he will lose by not getting his "act" together. Didn't work, as didn't the other 10,000 lectures, emails, and letters that I had sent previously.
Did the divorce, and finally 1 1/2 years after the divorce went no contact. Life is finally at peace. I mourn the old person AXH was, but would never live with an addict again. I understand that this is your daughter and harder to go no contact, but this might be the only thing that will bring peace into your life.
Sending hugs that you have a better day tomorrow.
I have a copy of my email that I sent to axh 3 weeks before our divorce. Explaining all that he will lose by not getting his "act" together. Didn't work, as didn't the other 10,000 lectures, emails, and letters that I had sent previously.
Did the divorce, and finally 1 1/2 years after the divorce went no contact. Life is finally at peace. I mourn the old person AXH was, but would never live with an addict again. I understand that this is your daughter and harder to go no contact, but this might be the only thing that will bring peace into your life.
Sending hugs that you have a better day tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 786
I have no words, only (((((((hugs))))))))
For you to know we care.
And where I'm at- I just stepped outside to a beautiful cool breeze after days of endless heat. If you have the same at your place, step outside, close your eyes, and just breathe...
For you to know we care.
And where I'm at- I just stepped outside to a beautiful cool breeze after days of endless heat. If you have the same at your place, step outside, close your eyes, and just breathe...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: New York, USA
Posts: 230
Thanks - just a few weeks of frustrating over her and thinking of my where my little curly headed girl went to. Forgot about myself and parents sometimes do. Did a reality check today and got myself back on track for the most part.
Not inviting her is the best way to go. The other kids understand and believe it or not, even her kids have more fun when we don't have to walk on pins and needles all day, drop everything to cater to her.
and yes, this cool night is very welcome.....haha, thanks for the reminder that life is very good.
Not inviting her is the best way to go. The other kids understand and believe it or not, even her kids have more fun when we don't have to walk on pins and needles all day, drop everything to cater to her.
and yes, this cool night is very welcome.....haha, thanks for the reminder that life is very good.
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