Too Drunk To Divorce
 

Soon to be ex AW wanted to separate a couple of months ago. I agreed but she never did anything till she got drunk before our daughters wedding and was thrown out of the wedding. So she has now been living in a rental unit we own for the last 6 weeks. Nearly 2 weeks ago she was served with divorce papers. As far as I can tell she has ignored the requirement to respond within 20 days and has not even hired a lawyer. She did have a 5 day period where she sobered up and we agreed on some things but she appears to be drinking hard again. She is a closet binge drinker that can stay on a drunk for over a month. Judging by the new dent in the car she has been driving drunk so I need out ASAP for liability reasons.

Anyone ever have this problem with their A and how did you handle it?

Well, you will get a judgment by default if she doesn't respond. Just put everything YOU want in the papers, and if she doesn't do anything, you'll get what you ask for (as long as it's within the realm of reason).

Yep. I knew my XAH wouldn't respond to the divorce papers but my lawyer made sure that as soon as the time limit passed he had the decree in front of a judge and it was a default. Basically everything I put in there was agreed to. Not that we had much. It took more time but it was certainly easier than if he had fought it.

I know that doesn't address the question about the car, I took him off my insurance as soon as I kicked him out, he had wrecked THREE cars over a year and got charged with DUI, but honestly until the divorce went through I just had to cross my fingers and hope he didn't damage anything or hurt anyone until the judge signed the papers. Talk to your lawyer and make sure they know how urgent it is to get those papers in front of a judge as SOON as the time limit is up.

I read the paperwork and if she fails to respond to the 20 day notice we don't have to notify her of any scheduled hearings. Lawyers assistant replied today. If she fails to reply in 90 days we can schedule a special special hearing where I get to explain my case to the judge and request that he sign the final documents at that time.

There ya go. Breathe. It will all be fine. So much the better for YOU if she chooses to keep her head in the sand.

There is nothing--absolutely nothing--unfair about this. Default judgments are entered every day, in all kinds of cases (not just divorces), where people prefer to pretend the lawsuit isn't happening. The courts have repeatedly held the rules to be fair. It's a form of passive-aggression to refuse to cooperate with the legal process, and people who do that shouldn't be rewarded for acting that way.