So sad today, Divorce Day is tomorrow
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
So sad today, Divorce Day is tomorrow
Hi everyone - You all are really the only people I have that will understand.
I'm divorcing my AH tomorrow. I'm so sad. I miss my best friend. I miss the life we should have had together. I miss the fun times we did have. He is in complete denial about the role alcohol played in the demise of our marriage.
I am grieving. My heart hurts. I left in October and although I know I am doing the right thing, it still hurts so badly. I will always love him, although I can not be with him.
If you have any positive thoughts to send my way tonight, I would appreciate you sending them, as I am having a very hard time.
Thanks, everyone.
I'm divorcing my AH tomorrow. I'm so sad. I miss my best friend. I miss the life we should have had together. I miss the fun times we did have. He is in complete denial about the role alcohol played in the demise of our marriage.
I am grieving. My heart hurts. I left in October and although I know I am doing the right thing, it still hurts so badly. I will always love him, although I can not be with him.
If you have any positive thoughts to send my way tonight, I would appreciate you sending them, as I am having a very hard time.
Thanks, everyone.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
timeForMe...it appears that almost everybody goes through this very sad feeling when the day arrives...even those who wanted/needed and sought the divorce.
Many people have reported the same thing, here on the forum. In my experience, it is gone in about 24hrs. 48hr,s at the very most. Usually, after waking up the next morning, the emotional state has returned to "normal".
Many people have reported the same thing, here on the forum. In my experience, it is gone in about 24hrs. 48hr,s at the very most. Usually, after waking up the next morning, the emotional state has returned to "normal".
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Time-
I just want to normalize the experience for you.
I know exactly where I was when I heard the final decree of divorce. I had the saddest feeling wash over me.....truly a "gut" check feeling.
It was a painful experience, that as time has passed and I have healed I am grateful for. I am not grateful for the pain, but I am grateful for the learning that grew from it for me.
The best thing I could do for myself during this time was to be extra gentle and take good care of myself. Sending positive thoughts your way.
I just want to normalize the experience for you.
I know exactly where I was when I heard the final decree of divorce. I had the saddest feeling wash over me.....truly a "gut" check feeling.
It was a painful experience, that as time has passed and I have healed I am grateful for. I am not grateful for the pain, but I am grateful for the learning that grew from it for me.
The best thing I could do for myself during this time was to be extra gentle and take good care of myself. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
It seems he's hell bent on HURTING you. From just a few days ago: "He asked me about an item that I thought was resolved (my attorney said his attorney agreed with me on it) and I told him that information. He accused me of taking advantage of him and asking what he ever did to make me hate him so much. I told him I would not have a conversation where he was insulting me and told him I was hanging up, and if he had any questions he could talk to his attorney. I finally hung up after he said "you never loved me anyway."
And you were looking forward to getting your divorce final to be done with his crap. You just left his abusive @$$ in October and by summer he had an ex-model lined up to marry and wanted your engagement ring back bc "it means nothing to you anyway" (hurtful and low JAB). You are sad about not having the romantic notion of what your ex CANNOT give you. I commend you for moving forward in your life. It WILL get better, just give it time and please do NOT live on false romantic notions or what "could have been" with your ex.
And you were looking forward to getting your divorce final to be done with his crap. You just left his abusive @$$ in October and by summer he had an ex-model lined up to marry and wanted your engagement ring back bc "it means nothing to you anyway" (hurtful and low JAB). You are sad about not having the romantic notion of what your ex CANNOT give you. I commend you for moving forward in your life. It WILL get better, just give it time and please do NOT live on false romantic notions or what "could have been" with your ex.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
I am sending you hugs and a "this too shall pass." If you ask me what is the hardest part, I would tell you exactly "missing my friend." But the point is, he stopped being my friend before the divorce. So divorce has never been the actual problem. It was a solution to my heartbreak.
Remember what brought you to divorce in the first place. But also remember that grieving is normal part of the process. The good news is it will not last forever.
(hugs)
Remember what brought you to divorce in the first place. But also remember that grieving is normal part of the process. The good news is it will not last forever.
(hugs)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 196
Thank you all so much.
Refiner...thanks for the kick in the eggs. I SOOOO needed that perspective. If I could give you a huge hug and kiss, I would.
Love to you all. It means more than you can know that you all replied.
Refiner...thanks for the kick in the eggs. I SOOOO needed that perspective. If I could give you a huge hug and kiss, I would.
Love to you all. It means more than you can know that you all replied.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by TimeForMe 
Thank you all so much.
Refiner...thanks for the kick in the eggs. I SOOOO needed that perspective. If I could give you a huge hug and kiss, I would.
Love to you all. It means more than you can know that you all replied.
Refiner...thanks for the kick in the eggs. I SOOOO needed that perspective. If I could give you a huge hug and kiss, I would.
Love to you all. It means more than you can know that you all replied.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
It's the symbolism of it that's getting to you, not the reality. It's like having a lousy Christmas or birthday--life goes on, we're just so damn mad it didn't fit our sense of what we SHOULD have had. In reality, it's just another day. Sun rises, sun sets.
You'll be OK--big hugs.
You'll be OK--big hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: New York
Posts: 105
Originally Posted by TimeForMe
I miss my best friend. I miss the life we should have had together. .
Hang in there friend. Saying a prayer for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way, TimeForMe. Divorce is hard and sad even when it is the right thing to do. It gets better. Much better!
When I got divorced an aunt told me the first two years suck and then it's better. Everyone is different of course but I found that to be pretty accurate.
When I got divorced an aunt told me the first two years suck and then it's better. Everyone is different of course but I found that to be pretty accurate.
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