Am I becoming a recluse?
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Join Date: Jun 2016
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Am I becoming a recluse?
DS and I have been sticking close to home since XAH left in February. I am not sure if I am becoming slightly depressed - or maybe just enjoying being in peace at home, with DS. I have no desire to go out for girls night outs, shopping, or, God forbid, a date. I just like doing housework and gardening, knit, and go hiking/running/swimming with DS on weekends. Occasional movie/show/going out to eat - but those are rare. I do get out for trail runs with friends twice a month....
Anyone experienced similar tendencies? I am afraid I will end up alone, knitting, with my cats
Anyone experienced similar tendencies? I am afraid I will end up alone, knitting, with my cats
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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Hey, if you enjoy knitting with your cats (personally, I find most activities much simpler WITHOUT cats), there's nothing wrong with that.
I'm not big for social activities, myself. One or two a year suit me just fine. I like my quiet, and I like my space. I'm not much for recreational shopping, either. I make it my mission to go in, get what I came for, and come home.
Your life sounds perfectly peaceful and lovely, to me.
I'm not big for social activities, myself. One or two a year suit me just fine. I like my quiet, and I like my space. I'm not much for recreational shopping, either. I make it my mission to go in, get what I came for, and come home.
Your life sounds perfectly peaceful and lovely, to me.
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Join Date: Jun 2016
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Originally Posted by dandylion 
Nata...I have met tons of great guys, in my life...but, thinking back--I have never met one that I wanted to get involved with on a girls' night out, or shopping, for that matter.
Lexie - ourcats are terribly lazy and pillow-like, they don't interfere
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
One of the perks of getting older, as far as I'm concerned, is that I'm less inclined to do things because of the media bombardment telling me what I SHOULD like to do. If something sounds interesting or appealing, I do it. If not, I don't. Saves me a lot of wasted time doing things I don't like.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Nata...it sounds like you might be, primarily, an introvert.....?
Actually, introverts DO go out too, it is just that they draw their rejuvenation from solitary activities and time, rather than with others.
My thought (from my guy foraging days) is that when you do go out...make it to target rich locations.
Just an idea......
Actually, introverts DO go out too, it is just that they draw their rejuvenation from solitary activities and time, rather than with others.
My thought (from my guy foraging days) is that when you do go out...make it to target rich locations.
Just an idea......
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Nata, I also spend much of my free time alone, by choice. I have been checking out various activities and have found some I enjoy, but by nature I've never been a social butterfly. I like a little companionship, someone to chat with now and again, but mostly I'm content to be home w/my dogs. I work full time and keep busy taking care of the house and yard as well as reading, spinning (yarn, not for exercise), crocheting, cooking, freezing food for winter, and a number of self-care activities like meditating, yoga, walking, etc.
Honestly, I don't know how I would have time to do anything else!
And to me, your life does not sound abnormal or reclusive at all, just someone who is enjoying some peace and getting comfortable with her own company.
Honestly, I don't know how I would have time to do anything else!
And to me, your life does not sound abnormal or reclusive at all, just someone who is enjoying some peace and getting comfortable with her own company.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 158
Nata, your life sounds lovely! Mine is very similar to yours at the moment and I´m enjoying it very much. I agree that there is a lot of media pressure to get out and do a lot of things that seem like a complete waste of time - really, when you need some time alone, socializing becomes a chore, not something you want to do. I´d say give yourself permission to do what you want to do, and don´t judge yourself. If knitting with the cats is more attractive to you than behaving like an overactive attention seeking party girl, so be it. Respect your needs and be kind to yourself!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
Knitting? Gardening? Trail runs? What a lovely life!!
Have you listened to Susan Cain's TED talk about introverts? What an eye-opener, and what a relief.
https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain...ts?language=en
Have you listened to Susan Cain's TED talk about introverts? What an eye-opener, and what a relief.
https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain...ts?language=en
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Join Date: Jun 2016
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Aww you guys are great - you know how to reassure a girl. And yes - my life is lovely these days. I believe that what I experience is XAH's voice nagging me how I am "anti-social" and "not nice to people" and "reclusive", "don't have any friends", "we don't see people because of you", when, in fact, he turned down every work party invitation (from my work), and his only "friends" were either AA goers or AA drop-outs in throes of active addiction....
One thing I truly miss is endurance group running - ultimate socializing for introverts - you can be as talkative or as quiet as you please, and endorphins pumping make for a great conversation
One thing I truly miss is endurance group running - ultimate socializing for introverts - you can be as talkative or as quiet as you please, and endorphins pumping make for a great conversation
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 166
Yes I'm totally like that too. For me socializing was always a chore. And after the stress of this past summer, I feel even more like that. I do hope to get reenergized - I do want to get out a little more when I'm ready, as I feel my life has been very narrow, just dealing with angst and anxiety. But right now I enjoy relaxing more than anything else. I can totally relate - and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way.
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I have to qualify - XAH had two really good AA friends - which I liked a lot and we were socializing with them (less so after he started to relapse). I really loved visiting with his former sponsor and his wife - we always played trivia....Unfortunately, majority of his "AA friends" were in and out of detox, and later became instigators and relapse buddies to XAH.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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You could take up pole dancing!!
Seriously though, I am an introvert and would probably do what you're doing - well, probably not the knitting cats part, but being a homebody. I do like cats - AW is allergic to them.
I think you're doing just fine!
COD
Seriously though, I am an introvert and would probably do what you're doing - well, probably not the knitting cats part, but being a homebody. I do like cats - AW is allergic to them.
I think you're doing just fine!
COD
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Originally Posted by CentralOhioDad
You could take up pole dancing!!
Seriously though, I am an introvert and would probably do what you're doing - well, probably not the knitting cats part, but being a homebody. I do like cats - AW is allergic to them.
I think you're doing just fine!
COD
Seriously though, I am an introvert and would probably do what you're doing - well, probably not the knitting cats part, but being a homebody. I do like cats - AW is allergic to them.
I think you're doing just fine!
COD
Knitting used to be a guy thing actually, sailors used to knit during long voyages.
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