Overthinking? Or attempts at opening communication?
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Join Date: Apr 2016
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Overthinking? Or attempts at opening communication?
I am trying to keep conversation with exA to the house and the house only. Things are going very well on that front actually… I am super strapped for money but I am feeling like this is going pretty smoothly now…
The realtor has been sending us group texts so that we are all on the same page, only downfall is that I am noticing these are kind of being used as leverage to start a “private” conversation on the side. Nothing strange so far but something kind of odd happened today. I borrowed some books from one of his friends and completely forgot. ExA saw this friend this past weekend and reminded his friend that I had his things, so now exA is texting me about arranging to drop them off so he can give them back. I don’t want this to be an “opening” for him so I asked him to have his friends reach out to me in the future if his memory is jogged about anything of theirs I might have…
I don’t know, I just found it kind of weird that he not only remembered but took it upon himself to be the middle man in regards to an exchange for items that his friend didn’t even remember I had. I’m sure it was innocent enough, but I was also recently told by a mutual friend that he was asking where I was living now so my ears are perked and I’m feeling a little hypervigilant
The realtor has been sending us group texts so that we are all on the same page, only downfall is that I am noticing these are kind of being used as leverage to start a “private” conversation on the side. Nothing strange so far but something kind of odd happened today. I borrowed some books from one of his friends and completely forgot. ExA saw this friend this past weekend and reminded his friend that I had his things, so now exA is texting me about arranging to drop them off so he can give them back. I don’t want this to be an “opening” for him so I asked him to have his friends reach out to me in the future if his memory is jogged about anything of theirs I might have…
I don’t know, I just found it kind of weird that he not only remembered but took it upon himself to be the middle man in regards to an exchange for items that his friend didn’t even remember I had. I’m sure it was innocent enough, but I was also recently told by a mutual friend that he was asking where I was living now so my ears are perked and I’m feeling a little hypervigilant
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
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I would think that he is 'testing the waters' so to speak, and see if you will crumble. I don't think you are overthinking things - I think you are being cautious, and have every right to be cautious.
And I applaud your cautiousness!
And I applaud your cautiousness!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Sounds like over thinking. A single event won't she'd much light on anything, nor would it change the overall direction. It normally takes a series of events to change the flow of things or even define the overall theme.
Along the way, you'll see small variances to the overall trajectory. Kinda like a stock that is trending up, but has ups and downs day to day.
Ultimately you control the outcome and the overall flow of this "transaction" by deciding how you want it to go down. If you don't want to see your ex, then bring the books to the rightful owner yourself. Or mail them.
Doesn't matter what the agenda is. You'll never know. Even if you ask, he probably won't be truthful anyway. All you can control is your response.
Along the way, you'll see small variances to the overall trajectory. Kinda like a stock that is trending up, but has ups and downs day to day.
Ultimately you control the outcome and the overall flow of this "transaction" by deciding how you want it to go down. If you don't want to see your ex, then bring the books to the rightful owner yourself. Or mail them.
Doesn't matter what the agenda is. You'll never know. Even if you ask, he probably won't be truthful anyway. All you can control is your response.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Agree with COD. Incidentally, for YEARS, my second husband would call me, always drunk, to ask if I wanted him to send back a book of mine that I'd left at his house.
I'd always say, "Sure, you can send it back." And a few months later, the same thing would happen.
Never did get the book back, but at least he finally quit calling.
I'd always say, "Sure, you can send it back." And a few months later, the same thing would happen.
Never did get the book back, but at least he finally quit calling.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
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If you are filing it under "More will be revealed" & going about the rest of your day then you aren't overthinking.
If you can't stop working the scenario around in your mind, examining it from every potential, unknown, side then yeah - maybe you're overthinking.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: uk
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Originally Posted by LexieCat 
Agree with COD. Incidentally, for YEARS, my second husband would call me, always drunk, to ask if I wanted him to send back a book of mine that I'd left at his house.
I'd always say, "Sure, you can send it back." And a few months later, the same thing would happen.
Never did get the book back, but at least he finally quit calling.
I'd always say, "Sure, you can send it back." And a few months later, the same thing would happen.
Never did get the book back, but at least he finally quit calling.
However say "no" and boom world war three breaks out!
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