Feeling Sick Today
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Join Date: Apr 2016
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Feeling Sick Today
Not sure if it is all the stress or that I have overworked myself recently. I am feeling like i am getting the flu... I think the anxiety and resentment and just overwhelming feelings that I have 1/2 the day ( at least it is only 1/2 now) are taking a toll on me physically. I still got everything done for work today and stayed fairly focused which is good. I just feel like I could sleep for days and days and days. My job is fairly physically and mentally draining and I own the company so the added pressure can be a lot at times. Tonight...I just feel so so so sleepy and off...Like my mind and body have finally just said No. I think I am also a little heightened in my anxiety because I know that he will be back from a "party Vegas trip" tomorrow night and while I am no contact I think I am nervous he will show up at my door. It is really strange to think that I used to secretly want him to show up at my door... Wanting him to tell me he would get sober and everything will be ok...now it honestly makes me feel nauseated. Like physically ill... I guess that is some kind of progress.. Thank you everyone again for getting me through some of the hardest times
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I'm going to say that you might be feeling a little bit of hypervigilence. If you feel like you can sleep, I would suggest that you do that. If not, and you want to talk I'll be up for awhile, and there are some others up at this time.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy
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Originally Posted by Bekindalways 
Hi LK, I hope you can get some good solid hours of "zzzzzz"s.
You do seem to be making wonderful progresss. Keep it up and let us know how you get on!
You do seem to be making wonderful progresss. Keep it up and let us know how you get on!
...I just want my brain to stop...
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
If you have a bath, run yourself one and try to relax. I find it will help with almost anything.
Be firm with yourself about allowing pictures of him to come into your head. Try to distract your thoughts every time it happens, or come up with an affirmation. Something like 'his idea of fun is slowly destroying him; I choose a longer healthier path.' Say it often enough and you will believe it, because it's true.
Be firm with yourself about allowing pictures of him to come into your head. Try to distract your thoughts every time it happens, or come up with an affirmation. Something like 'his idea of fun is slowly destroying him; I choose a longer healthier path.' Say it often enough and you will believe it, because it's true.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
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I understand how hard it is to shut your mind off...mine only has an on button.
But at least try to picture what is more likely to be the reality of his LV binge? He will drink to vomiting, unconsciousness, or to the point of violent behavior, annoy his friends, wake up in a cheap motel room, on a lawn somewhere, or in jail, still drunk, incredibly hungover, and dead broke. The "stripper" will have robbed him or her pimp will have. Or he'll get himself beaten up and/or arrested for fighting or for buying cocaine.
Fun times, right?
What are you going to do for yourself today? A long nap and a Netflix binge? Pamper yourself and sleep all you want to...you're recovering from a ton of stress.
Sending you a hug.
ETA: He may well show up at your door, especially if he's out of drinking money. Do NOT let him in...you've come so far. Let him go bug his ex or that girl he was trying to "date" during one of your reconciliations.
But at least try to picture what is more likely to be the reality of his LV binge? He will drink to vomiting, unconsciousness, or to the point of violent behavior, annoy his friends, wake up in a cheap motel room, on a lawn somewhere, or in jail, still drunk, incredibly hungover, and dead broke. The "stripper" will have robbed him or her pimp will have. Or he'll get himself beaten up and/or arrested for fighting or for buying cocaine.
Fun times, right?
What are you going to do for yourself today? A long nap and a Netflix binge? Pamper yourself and sleep all you want to...you're recovering from a ton of stress.
Sending you a hug.
ETA: He may well show up at your door, especially if he's out of drinking money. Do NOT let him in...you've come so far. Let him go bug his ex or that girl he was trying to "date" during one of your reconciliations.
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Thank you everyone for your responses... I ended up taking 3 tylenol pm and meditating and got to bed that way. Now I am super groggy but at least I got through the night. Today I am going to go to yoga therapy ( it is one on one talk therapy with yoga moves ). I have been seeing the same girl for a year now so she is aware of my story. I am still feeling a little sick but if I am feeling better by this evening I am going to go to my alanon meeting. I am going to start to do laundry ( I leave for a work trip on Thursday ).... I have 2 pretty big new clients this week so I need to focus on getting them all locked in with their design ideas by Wednesday before I leave... Thank You everyone for your ongoing support. I have an anxious bubble in my stomach knowing he will be back today. I have noticed with him that after a big party weekend he usually goes above and beyond to contact me or make up with me... ( Reminds me of a child when they get their way and become nice because of it..even if it hurt other people for them to get their way )So please send me strength and prayers.
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Location: Western US
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Originally Posted by LovelyKaya33333
Thank you everyone for your responses... I ended up taking 3 tylenol pm and meditating and got to bed that way. Now I am super groggy but at least I got through the night. Today I am going to go to yoga therapy ( it is one on one talk therapy with yoga moves ). I have been seeing the same girl for a year now so she is aware of my story. I am still feeling a little sick but if I am feeling better by this evening I am going to go to my alanon meeting. I am going to start to do laundry ( I leave for a work trip on Thursday ).... I have 2 pretty big new clients this week so I need to focus on getting them all locked in with their design ideas by Wednesday before I leave... Thank You everyone for your ongoing support. I have an anxious bubble in my stomach knowing he will be back today. I have noticed with him that after a big party weekend he usually goes above and beyond to contact me or make up with me... ( Reminds me of a child when they get their way and become nice because of it..even if it hurt other people for them to get their way )So please send me strength and prayers.
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