Been a while
 

I always hope that I will come back here with positive news but looking back, that never seems to be the case. Actually, it is good that I have put some of our experiences in writing. Sometimes I lose perspective. My AH returned from treatment and stayed sober for two months. Then began the pot smoking and then drinking. That was 15 months ago. Last week he got a dui and then the next day was stopped for driving without a license and our vehicle was seized. Aside from the legal and financial implications, I was grateful that no one was injured and that maybe this is rock bottom. My children were hopeful too. My son actually said that he was relieved that this is the end. Unfortunately, the drinking has not stopped and he has become even more self-absorbed than he was before. This happened at the start of our much needed vacation which we had to return from. He has apologized but he doesn't understand the gravity. I constantly try to shield the children ( ages 14 and 10) from the chaos and I am exhausted. He says that he will eventually stop drinking but we are all out of patience and understanding.

I think I'd be all out of patience and understanding, too. "Eventually" covers a lot of territory. You could be doing this thirty years from now, same thing, with more gray hair and an ulcer or other stress-related disorders. Your kids could be bitter and regretting their messed-up family with drunk dad and depressed mom.

You aren't shielding your kids from the chaos, whatever you think. Why do you think they were so relieved that something like this happened. How do you think they will feel as things spiral further down?

Sorry to sound so negative, but I don't see too much hopeful about this situation. I'd be thinking about some counseling for the kids, and Al-Anon for you, while you figure out what you are going to do to help yourself and the kids.

aspen....I hope you can listen to the words of your son.....
I sincerely suggest that you go to the Adult Children of Alcoholics site and read the real life stories of those who were raised in an alcoholic home.

You still have some time to help your children...4yrs. for the oldest one....
One of the saddest things a mother (parent) can hear from her adult children is "Why did you make us stay?".....
Quite often, the adult children will express as much or more anger at the parent who didn't protect them from the effects and family dynamics of an alcoholic home...than the actual alcoholic.....

I am not trying to be insensitive to you and your challenges with this situation...but, the children need someone to speak for them.....
They stand to lose more than either you or your husband...

dandylion

it may be YOUR rock bottom. but we can NEVER guess or assume or create a bottom for anyone else.

he is showing you who he is. your children SEE this. you are not sheilding them as much as you wish or hope you are. they are stuck in this madness, until one parent decides to make changes to assure THEIR happiness, security and safety.