Wow.....
 

On Monday my mum died. It wasn't unexpected but the circumstances were awful. I went to see her on her death bed and my father used the opportunity to be verbally and emotionally abusive to me at the top of his voice. My sister had to ask him to be quiet. My dd's who don't speak to me turned up and glared me out all while my poor mum was fighting for breath and I was crying. To cut a long story short am not going to her funeral cos my father will use it as a chance to have yet another go at me. He's a truly vile man and my siblings are supportive of me not going as they witnessed his latest tirade first hand on Saturday. He continued it on texts until I blocked him. It's clear he is most of the reason my dd's don't speak to me to as he has told them some whopping lies about me.

Anyhow B/friend is in Europe and offered to come back but it's expensive ( and I have just been over for 2 weeks) so I said no even tho I'd give a lotto win for a hug right now. In a surprise move EXAH stepped up!!! He's been brilliant. ( a first ) He took the boys out, let me talk to him on the phone and listened to me going on. He offered to look after the boys if I want a break and is being generally nice to me! The boys had a great time with him. which has been evident the past few months he's been visiting them every week. Ds 1 says he's different. He's never volunteered any information about his drinking and I don't ask but he seems happier, more present and is supportive of my future plans. The boys look forward to seeing him and he has a great girlfriend now too who likes them. He's making plans to move nearer to be closer to the boys. Am pleased tho I know he has a long road ahead if he is in recovery and I don't know that he is. Am just accepting it for what it is for now.

I'm so sorry about your mom. (((HUGS)))

I hope you can do something for yourself to make peace if you aren't attending the service. You do WHATEVER you need to do to take care of yourself right now...and stepping away from the crazy family sounds smart.

Love and peace to your family.

So sorry about your Mother Lady. Big hug to you!

So sorry for your loss and I think it was wise not to attend the funeral. Toxic people become more toxic when there emotional upheaval.

I always fall back on the line, "Not my circus, not my monkeys"

My heart goes out to you. A big hug in this difficult time.

My sympathies to you Ladybird.

Grief is a tricky thing and be accepting of yourself in the coming year+.

My sincere sympathies to you, Ladybird. It is true what MRI Recovery stated-I've witnessed that as well-toxic people just take it to the Nth degree when in a state of emotional turmoil. I think you made the absolute right decision for yourself, which is most important. Many hugs.

My condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the difficult times.

Big, tight hugs! I am so very sorry for your loss.

Sorry to hear.

My sincere sympathies on your loss, but glad that you've found support in unexpected places. Make sure you get a rain check on that hug from your BF...