bree528

I don't know what to do anymore. I am just so exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I just feel like I've been through it all with my AH. He binge drinks heavily every weekend with his brothers and other alcoholic family members. And his family just turns a blind eye to it all and make excuses for them. His mom is the worst. One minute she says she hates their drinking and then the next she says ,"they're men...men drink!" She will lie and cover for them at all costs. They have all had multiple DWIs. I am made to feel like the problem in his family because I am the only one "making waves." I am a quiet person normally and don't like to be the center of attention but his drinking has caused me to have meltdowns in front of other people. I have flipped out on him several times in front of others because of it. I am embarrassed by this but I just lose control after dealing with his crap for so long. I have been told to calm down and stop overreacting. As he always says he is " doing nothing wrong." He is just having " a couple." He is also verbally, emotionally, sexually and financially abusive. I am a stay at home mom right now. I am not allowed to go anywhere or do anything I please without his approval but he can do whatever he pleases. This last weekend has been one of the worst yet. I feel like I am going crazy. I can't keep living life this way. His drinking and abuse are destroying me. I don't know how I can get away from him when he controls everything in my life.

Eauchiche

You have one of two choices here: start drinking yourself so you can stand the rest of them (I am not recommending this, but it IS one of your choices), or start taking measures to detach from their scene.

Do what is possible to do. Can you move out? Move away entirely? Even going to an AlAnon meeting on the QT is SOMETHING.

Bird615

You've come to the right place, bree.

Stick around here for support and information on how to start taking care of you. Keep reading and posting and you'll find you are far from alone.

FeelingGreat

What an awful situation for you Bree. Do you have the support of your own family and friends, because it seems you're not going to find it from your AH's family? I hate to think of you being abused as well.

Maybe you could start by educating yourself about alcoholism and abuse. There are lots of resources out there like SR and domestic violence counselling services. I'm not saying you have to do something right away, but you could start thinking about your options and doing what you can with available resources, squirrelling away money if you can. Make plans and work quietly to achieve them.

You're not going to be able to do much about your AH's drinking unless he reaches the point where he wants to stop. Try to stay away and detach, keeping it superficial with your in-laws.

You can always take the kids away for a walk or something fun. Just because they're drinking doesn't mean you have to hang around.

bree528

I actually have drank with him before just to make him happy. But all it did was make me miserable.

dandylion

bree...a couple of questions, first.....how many children do you have?
Do you live in a place that has resources or is it relatively isolated?
(if you don't want to answer these questions openly...you can feel free to PM (private message me)--do you know how to do that? You can click on my name..and, then, click on the private message choice.....
dandylion

ardy

just have to say this But if you live in the United States of America we Females have rights and can Stand Tall and Hold the High Ground when needed too. and babe you need to big time.. you are not a slave .... take that walk and go see a Family councilor that can help and most of the time that is free... do you drive get in the car and go to the police station and do a report.. I have done this .. to stop problems with my hubby... drinking meds or drugs never end up well.. hugs and prayers wisconsin

dandylion

bree....you will find lots of information if you go to the stickies at the top of the main page. Look for the one called---"About Abuse"......
(look for the little pictures of locks on the left hand side of the page.....

dandylion

***please keep posting...as you will get lots of support here....
many others have been in your same shoes. You don't have to stay living like this!

bree528

I've been wanting to go to an Alanon meeting but he refuses to let me go. He says they will just try to talk me into leaving him. Plus he says he isn't an alcoholic so there is no point in me going.