aliciagr

I have been discussing the abuser a dab used labels, and its interesting what it brings out. Also what makes up being an abuser vs committing an a us ive act. Or having been abused,vs I'm an in an abusive relationship, or I'm the victim of abuse.

Its not simple I'm finding out

Thomas45

So since I didn't see this part answered, the best direct and to-the-point definition of alcoholism is as follows:

An inability to self-moderate while drinking, combined with continued use despite facing serious consequences as a result of one's drinking.

That's Dr. Drew Pinsky's abbreviated definition of alcoholism.

Now, while your husband might not fit directly in that mold at this moment with regards to 'just' alcohol, he is engaging in a classic addictive behavior: swapping one vice for another. The purpose of recovery is to clear one's mind so that they can process their feelings and life in a healthy way. Switching from cocaine to alcohol is not 'getting clean', it is feeding the addictive desire with more mind-altering substances. Feel free to search through the "Newcomers to recovery" forum and you'll see story after story after story of people who are trying to get sober, who fall prey to the thinking that "it'll be okay if I switch to pot/alcohol/whatever," and then they end up running into all the same problems with the substance that they switched to in order to get 'clean.'

Sobriety doesn't happen until a person gets off (and stays off!) of any and all mind-altering drugs.

redatlanta

My husband LOVED to use cocaine when drinking, but it was not his DOC. Alcohol was, and he is definitely an alcoholic. He says, and I believe him, that he never had an addiction to cocaine. If he had it great, if not, fine. When he got sober, and during his many attempts before he did - the jones was always for alcohol.

If he told me today he wanted to do some coke, aside that I am way past recreational drug use of any kind, I'd tell him leave. I understand, and he does too, that he can be addicted to any mind altering substance given enough time.

We do see here often in description the alcoholic attempt to moderate by switching flavors. I certainly believe the alcohol/cocaine combo can be used to moderate one or the other - pick your choice.

I can believe that your husband may not drink alcoholically (as you define)when only drinking, and not using coke. I see a gateway association, and think its incredibly risky/stupid for him to continue to drink if that's where this is headed.

As for specific treatments for one vs. the other seems to me they are all pretty much the same. As for specific treatments if the intent is to go to dual diagnosis that's most likely your best option if part of this is self medication.

sugarbear1

I've used alcohol, cocaine or marijuana to treat my alcoholism.

Total abstinence is the key to recovery. For me, I also work the 12 steps. Other people use other methods.

Drinking always led me to drugs and drugs led me back to drinking. I abuse any and all of those 3 substances one way or the other. To recovery, to have real therapy, I must be totally abstinent.

kittycat3

Off topic but I hope you are taking care of yourself Alicia. You might need therapy and al-anon and maybe other things to heal from the abuse. Are you doing anything to take care of your recovery (from abuse) needs? Hugs.

aliciagr

Thank you for being concerned. I'm in therapy. now and going weekly. I have gone to alanon a bit and have not fully decided on it, reading some books, and trying to journal and work on things my therapist said might help plus ive been posting here again.

caretaker88

The purpose of rehab or treatment is to attain sobriety. It doesn't matter if the issue is drugs or alcohol. There is a simple but wise saying... "A drug is a drug, is a drug".

If your husband believes he has a problem with cocaine and wants to get and stay clean, he will need to embrace sobriety- No cocaine, no alcohol, no marijuana, nothing. That is sobriety and that is what keeps a person from achieving their OWN personal goal of leading a sober life. If he is not willing to live a completely sober life, he is not ready for real change. Period.