Refiner

But you do realize this is your own choice you are making to "hold the pieces together" for both of you. Why do you feel the need to do this? Do you go to al-anon where you learn what to do for YOURSELF and not him?

Wow, that's a cozy arrangement he's made with you. The entire loan and repayment is up to you but he owns half the house? How in the world did you agree to that? Perhaps he's entrapped you like this for a reason? I'm sure there are legal things you could do to get his name on the loan and/or your name off the deed.

This guy sounds like a real "winner". I'm so sorry for the loss of your cat and heart dog. I know how much that hurts, and he sounds like a real creep.

Lilro

on the deed but not the mortgage? A quit claim will take care of that.

Becki67

I'm sorry guys. I just hit my mental wall today and got overwhelmed. You are all right. And no worries...I won't ever marry him. A quit claim only works when both parties agree. He won't agree.

I was doing so well...doing my own thing, handling my stuff, finding things to do on my own. Then my cat, dog and Mom died all within the last month and it hit me hard. I got weak and dependent and had expectations again. I thought that this might wake him up a little bit. My hurt and disappointment came out as anger.

firebolt

You keep apologizing to us.

Unnecessary - we've been there! We're all here for the same reasons you are, some of us are just in different places on the journey. We ALL came here for the reasons you did - and that's nothing to apologize for.

I stayed with XABF for so much longer than I wanted to. Partially out of hope he would get better, partially because I didn't think I could deal with losing my dad without him. Like yours, he was far less support in real life than I made him out to be in my mind. I hit a breaking point and decided I could not deal with losing my dad AND an ABF's crazy all at the same time. In fact, dealing with the loss of my dad was EASIER without XABF....because he wasn't around to make it all about him. FWIW, I had to put my cat down within a few months also. It is SO HARD.

But - my friends and family were there for me. This place was here for me. And I stepped up and took care of myself. And it all turned out just fine....and is getting better all of the time. That will not happen with an active alcoholic. It does not get better - only worse....and you deserve so much more than that.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom and pets - it's heartbreaking. We're here, and you have nothing to apologize to us for. (((HUGS)))

Lilro

No need to apologize, ever! We have all been there. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mother. Take care of YOU and the rest will fall into place, with or without him.
Big Hug
Ro

AnvilheadII

if YOU want change in your life and circumstance, than YOU are going to have to do the work.

you don't HAVE to clean up after him, take care of him, pay his way - that is a choice you made along the way.

there are ways to force someone out of a home. and he can be removed from the deed by a Quit Claim Deed. be GRATEFUL he isn't on the mortgage!!!

wanting him to feel you pain is not a valid solution. wishing to force him to his "bottom" so that he will...........whatever......is not a valid solution.

contact an attorney. take the necessary steps. this isn't about what's FAIR, it's about what you are WILLING to do to get your life back in order. you get to say enough is enough.....but that means you have to step up.