WHYOWHY

Hi Y'all
This chapter is titled:
"EVERYTHING IS NOT ALWAYS BLACK OR WHITE"

First ....I want to thank each and every person who added their own insights to all of my preveious posts.

I read them all & have gotten alot of "food for thought".........thanks again.

Now ......on to the Theme of today's chapter.

I don't know about you ...
But I oftern have trouble with "grey areas"

I'll explain.......

In the past
When I have had a QUESTION about something....I always want an ANSWER.
For instance:
I wanted someone to tell me WHY my husband drinks........
WHY he puts alchohol FIRST.....
What I can do to make him stop ....etc....etc..........

In the last week or so.....I have started to realize that There are no concrete answers when it comes to my recovery............or his......

It is like asking someone to explain "The meaning of life"

Everyone you ask will probably have some sort of response & SOME will even think that THEIR response IS the answer.....but really ..it is only an opinion based on THEIR own experiences & beliefs.
I think that part of MY recovery lies in not getting answers to my questions...
Rather .....It is about not having the need to ask so many questions.....and just being O.K. with the "grey areas of my life"

Thanks for reading ..........any thoughts?

Lorelai

I agree, Why. Not always black and white.

That's one of things that is so great about these forums. Everyone can tell their story and their experience. Everyone is different and everyone's situation is different. But, we can find common threads and learn from others anyway.

I have found that sometimes the answers to the "whys" come with acceptance. Accepting what is. Sometimes the answers haven't come but I accept that I'm not meant to know the answers right now.

It has definately been better for me to stop questioning and start accepting.
L

Daffodil

Well, what a question! Gray areas! Today I believe almost everything is a gray area especially when it comes to people.

I'd have wanted it to be black and white. I do this and you do that because then I'd have control over what you'd do.

I have to give that thought up. I know today I can't put people in little boxes that I think are right for them. Nor can I put events, places, or outcomes in a box. I have learned that is all up to my H.P.s plan and not mine.

It's like going to a party someone else is giving. I don't get to plan the games, plan the menu, or the guest list.

All I need to do is show up for life's party and be the best guest I can be.

Happy thoughts.

Magichappens

WOW,
You are really digging in to recovery. The way you think reminds me of me.

One thought on grey areas that really hit me was that Al-Anon teaches us that we have choices, but those choices aren't usually black and white. Each decision has it's good and bad sides. I always wanted the fantasy, all good, clear cut answers. A step by step instruction on how I should live to get no bad results. Boy did I waste a lot of time and effort on that.

I always strived for complete happiness (white) and many times was completely miserable (black). I think that grey might be a more balanced outlook on life. Thanks for the post. Hugs, Magic

lonlion

WHYOWHY
Can I just tell you that for years I needed every one's opinion on my problems. It got to the point that I even dumped on waitresses. Long story short, I finally realized I just didn't trust my own judgements/oppinions, and had to repeat my stories over and over to try to get every one's feedback. I am so glad that I no longer need to do that, I can now trust my own thoughts and if I talk about my situations with friends now, that is all I am doing....talking, not asking what this means, or what I should do about that problem. I feel so free now, and am glad to be where I am at. Do I still make bad choices sometimes? Sure I do, but I deal with it and put it in perspective and try to think in grey areas now.

bookworm

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.....except when a human being has anything to do with it.....then anything can happen!

Sa