And...now I have a co-worker...
 

...whom I suspect is a binge alcoholic.

He is a senior staff member so he has a lot of accumulated leave and sick days.

He was only in one day this past week. I suspect because he tied one on with his buddies over the holiday weekend and it kept going.

He has the watery eyes and red face.

I hope against hope that he isn't, but it seems the signs are there.

Well, at least my job does not depend on him. I guess I shouldn't be surprised to run into people who struggle with alcohol addiction elsewhere. In my world, though, it always seemed to be confined to family members. I've run into very few obvious alcoholics in other areas of my life--maybe 3 in my life. OK, now 4.

Well, shields up!

Yep. I learned a TREMENDOUS amount about high functioning alcoholics by firsthand experience. Fool me once shame on you you...foll me twice.....

I see more signs now than I ever knew to look for before.

Most of the people I work with are either HF A's or just heavy drinkers. It's a very stressful, fast-paced global headquarters of a Fortune 100 company. When we have business dinners, it's BOY HOWDY!! 😳

You've only seen four! Seren, I have to applaud your restraint.

Sometimes I have to keep myself from thinking that everyone out there is an alcoholic. One day I was sitting in the bathroom at work and, I kid you not, I looked under the waste basket to see if anyone had hidden a bottle. Just for the heck of it. I work at a daycare!

For good or bad I've become an expert on the signs and symptoms of alcoholism. Unfortunately the "skills" that I've acquired are not skills that I can turn on and off anymore than a drug sniffing dog can turn off it's nose when it leaves the airport. I suspect I do better than the blood alcohol test used by the courts.

Either way, I'm sorry to hear that it's aggravating you. I certainly can relate.

Yeah, I'm sure my alcoholic radar is a bit more fine-tuned now...sheesh!

Where I work is nothing so high-powered but it is occasionally high-pressure. I may run into a few more coworkers who struggle with alcohol as time goes on...

*chuckle* Well I suppose I try to give most folks the benefit of the doubt. It's true, though, that during or after the struggle of having an active alcoholic in your life, you can 'see' them everywhere!

We have a new employee in our section who is taking on some new responsibilities. He had to participate in a conference call along with this alcoholic co-worker who happened to be home 'sick'. This new employee talked to me afterword and said "He was so drunk, he was slurring his words and we could barely understand him during the call!"

I haven't even been here a year and wonder how many times he has been doing this job while actively, noticeably drunk. I feel horrible for the man, but wonder how long this will continue before someone outside the company says something?

I really hate addiction.

Its so sad once we realize what's going on to watch a life fall apart.

I'm a bit torn at the moment, really. I wonder if one of us, those who heard him on the phone today, should talk to our manager. I worry that the company could get into hot water if his behavior escalates. It may already have, for all I know, since I have been working here less than a year.

He would not admit his problem as we have discussed addiction in someone else and he at no time acknowledged his own struggles. Most of the time, I do not have to work directly with him. There are 5 of us in this section. But if we are ever in a company vehicle together, he typically insists on driving...bother to all of this!!

Any thoughts or experiences would be welcome.

Seren - at my old office I used to have a co-worker that always smelled like alcohol. First thing in the morning I could smell the whiskey on him so I started taking the stairs.

And I worked closely with him - he would often have to be in my cube and I would want to just pass out from the smell. I always wondered how no one around him could pick up on it.

Well eventually he relocated to one of our offices in his home country. Truth be known, there were a lot of my co-workers that thought the same thing, how did his boss not know...??? It crossed my mind several times to speak to someone about this but before I could he was gone.

Later on I found out there were others around me that felt the same so I often wondered if he was relocated out of our office on purpose.....

It was heart breaking because not only I felt for his wife, as I am married to an alcoholic myself, but his son is the same age as my youngest daughter.

What a shame KTT, a real tragedy all of addiction. The man I work with is sort of a committed bachelor, no children. He has been there many years. I suppose he is fairly close to retirement. I don't know how I can avoid being in a vehicle with him behind the wheel even if he seems sober. He is probably always a little 'topped off', so to speak :(

You guys act like your finding rare venomous snakes in the wilderness. Ooh, there's one. Ooh, there's another. Real people, have real problems. Alcoholism is one. There is also drug addiction, gambling, serial adultery, compulsive spending and shopping, cleptomaniacs, serial liars, and the list goes on and on. I'm sorry if anyone is offended by my offense of this but let he without sin cast the first stone. There are no perfect people out there, guys.

Hi Tobe,

Addiction of various kinds runs in my family like a thread that weaves its way through the generations. Yes, we do run into all kinds in various aspects of our lives. My co-worker is a very nice man, and he has a very serious problem. I do not think of him as a venomous snake or anything else. He deserves simple respect just as anyone else. Those of us who work with him also deserve to be able to do our job without someone who is calling in sick more and more frequently, and showing up on important conference calls drunk and slurring his words. I am the only woman in my section, and the men tend to want to do the driving--which is fine. As long as they are not drunk.

I can assure you, I am not contemptuous of this man. I know that there are no perfect people, and I think it is a very heartbreaking situation. I was hoping to hear from others what has happened when they have been in similar situations--if they have.

Instead, what I get is judgement and condemnation from you, Tobe. I do not deserve it. I am not judging him, you are judging me.

Sorry, but this is another time, TobeC, that you just don't get it. Nobody is "judging" the guy--not in the sense of putting him down or feeling superior. Alcoholics pose real risks to companies, and they often put coworkers in very awkward situations. I once got called in by my boss because someone had reported that I smelled like booze. I was in the midst of my addiction and denied it, but I always felt terrible that I put her in the position where she had to have what must have been an incredibly difficult situation.

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I have a coworker who at one time was VERY involved in AA, but now says it's not for her and that she's not an alcoholic because she can stop drinking for a month or more. Meanwhile she seems to have some kind of shopping addiction. She opened up a credit card with a $700 credit line a few months ago, has spent the $700 and then some. People have tried to explain the concept of saving money to her, but she doesn't listen. It can be painful to watch.

So sad...

I am trying to find compassion but I am having a hard time dealing with addicts

I am dealing with contractor right now - their boss seems to have a drinking problem - whenever I call - his voice sounds different. And he forgets things

His technician was harassing me with text messages and over FB, was dropping by unannounced and I asked them to send another guy. The creepy technician shows up yesterday - AGAIN, at 8pm, without calling, looking stoned, telling me he will be installing equipment.

I told him it was too late, sent him on his way, and called again, reiterating the fact that I requested a new technician.

Then there is a guy at work smelling like booze - on my project, I have to literally to stand there and nag him to get any work out of him.....

IMO - many times bosses "don't see it" because it is HR nightmare to let someone go over addiction problems, plus they don't want to deal with the guilt of stripping someone of their livelihood

Oh lord. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

Seren,

I relate. In my job there are a few people that are drunks. I used to be the number one drunk.

The main thing I have noticed is their routine inconsistent personality.

In a 5 day work week I see a stable patient person one day, the next day they are irritated and easily angered.

They appear to have zero care in the world of their actions. To them, they are having a bad day, but really it is the alcohlic pre or post mental damage. They are either needing to drink or are recovering from drinking.

Part of my recovery is feeling embarrassed about my inconsistent nature w my coworkers and more so w my family.

I believe my boss still gets very close to me sometimes to smell me. I was never couselled at work about my drinking problem, but I am positive he was very aware. He is a smart man and I imagine he expects me to relapse. That will not happen.

My wife and son are happy I quit as well. Drinking at home was my norm and they got to see me at my worst drunken times. I know it had to be scary for them. Now they see me stable as possible. My personality is never ever going to be altered by booze again.

Thanks.

Interesting thread and here are my thoughts:

I work in a restaurant. Enough said, really. I see it all - from customers and staff. The alcoholics, the heavy drinkers, the kids just messing around (of whom some will certainly become alcoholics), those who never drank, those who are sober now.....I enjoy the anthropological view sobriety gives me. I too can suss out problems and behavioral changes a million miles away. Basically, it's only my business as a third party observer. I don't rat on staff who is drinking at work (it's semi-endorsed), I don't hang out with drinkers after work, and if a customer needs to be cut off or assisted with an uber or such, that's when I get a manager.

People tried to reach out to me in my corporate life. I wouldn't have any part of it. It's up to this guy (or anyone who could be similar, as others have mentioned).

I'd stay out of it, Seren, unless you feel directly threatened in some way. If he hasn't faced work consequences (and who knows- maybe he has been given verbal and written warnings and that's an HR issue that is no one else's business) or consequences in his personal life (probably has) then he's likely a case of the "yet" club.

Also - we've all run into plenty of alcoholics and addicts. I look around sometimes at a meeting and think, "yep, you'd never have known by looking at that person" and I was definitely in that polished, together, etc, category....til I wasn't.

I gotta do me and keep my side of the street clean, and let others do the same.

Here's my concern having been in this situation: I found out that my ex-co-worker who was a hard-core alcoholic was refilling his water bottles with vodka for these company outings. It scared me silly to think of all the times I'd been a passenger for those 2-3 hour drives to conferences & seminars while he drove along swigging from that bottle. Once I figured that out I insisted on driving separately everywhere & it only gets sticky if someone else has an issue with it or the company won't cover the extra expense.

IMO though, I have EVERY right to refuse to get in a car with someone that is driving under the influence & I don't feel like it's a violation of THEIR rights to say so when asked. I wouldn't make a big scene & run around issuing a lot of demanding ultimatums, but in the situation where my personal safety is at risk? Yeah, I'm sharing every truth I'm holding.

If working with someone consistently & obviously too drunk or too hungover to carry their weight on a team project? (I'm not talking about one-time issues like grieving the loss of a family member - I will always support my team when they face personal challenges.) We are only as strong as that weak link & I'm not taking the fall professionally because someone else has their issues spilling out into the workplace regularly. I have complete empathy for their struggles but that doesn't mean I have to suffer their consequences or allow it to impact our client service experience. It's not a secret any longer when it's obvious to everyone around you - if the company chooses to not address it, that's their business UNTIL they ask me to get a car with said person driving or want to hold me accountable for their mistakes/shortfalls. Each company has a different tolerance toward this type of situation so IDK what is best in your shoes, but as an employer *I* would want to know if someone is creating a huge liability for me like driving a company truck under the influence, etc.


Btw - I quit the above referenced job due to addiction issues in the workplace despite being offered a potentially very lucrative junior partnership in the firm very early in my career. It just wasn't worth the constantly escalating stress & unpredictability of dealing with an addict senior partner. The partnership eventually broke up & he ended up in business solo until his wife passed after a long, agonizing health spiral all related back to her own alcoholism.