Better days ahead - I hope
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Southgate, MI
Posts: 30
Better days ahead - I hope
It will be exactly 4 weeks tomorrow that I broke up with XABF. So far, only one relapse of contact, but the phone is blocked so if he is contacting me, I wouldn't know. Others are still getting messages that I've asked not to relay to me. They still feel they have to tell me they're getting messages but they can't block him - he's family. I don't need to know what they say Bc I pretty much know anyway.
I haven't cried in 5 days. Trust me, that's a record. Today, I realized a couple of things. Relief. I don't have to look forward to the stress of an argument that's lasts for hours over text. I don't have to read hurtful comments that will be followed up by apologies the next day, telling me it's all his fault. I don't have to wonder what's he's doing and how much he's drinking and who he's with that's enabling him. I don't cry every day over fighting and wondering if I should leave.
I realize tomorrow I may fall completely apart. Like grief, that I am all too familiar with, I know the stages and I know the waves. I do miss him, but I miss the man I remember from years ago. That man died years ago and I'm not sure he will ever resurface again. For his kids' sake, I hope he does.
Today, I feel a sense of hope. This board has opened my eyes and I connect so much with many of your personal stories and I feel empowered by your advice and support. I wasn't going to come back after I dumped him but I'm so glad I did. I know I need to work on myself, and all the lovely people here have helped so much.
Just wanted to say thanks and share a little. My next post might be a rambling mess, but today, so far, is a peaceful day. Going out for a walk in the park and get back on my exercise route I've ignored for the last 4 weeks. I'm happy that today that will be my biggest challenge.
Elyse
I haven't cried in 5 days. Trust me, that's a record. Today, I realized a couple of things. Relief. I don't have to look forward to the stress of an argument that's lasts for hours over text. I don't have to read hurtful comments that will be followed up by apologies the next day, telling me it's all his fault. I don't have to wonder what's he's doing and how much he's drinking and who he's with that's enabling him. I don't cry every day over fighting and wondering if I should leave.
I realize tomorrow I may fall completely apart. Like grief, that I am all too familiar with, I know the stages and I know the waves. I do miss him, but I miss the man I remember from years ago. That man died years ago and I'm not sure he will ever resurface again. For his kids' sake, I hope he does.
Today, I feel a sense of hope. This board has opened my eyes and I connect so much with many of your personal stories and I feel empowered by your advice and support. I wasn't going to come back after I dumped him but I'm so glad I did. I know I need to work on myself, and all the lovely people here have helped so much.
Just wanted to say thanks and share a little. My next post might be a rambling mess, but today, so far, is a peaceful day. Going out for a walk in the park and get back on my exercise route I've ignored for the last 4 weeks. I'm happy that today that will be my biggest challenge.
Elyse
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Thanks for sticking around, and thanks for that post. It shows that there is hope after the dust starts to settle. Don't worry about tomorrow and the 'what might' that could be. You have today, and today is calm and you are more at peace. Consider this the new norm.
There will probably still be down days, and that's okay - but the future holds great light and hope for you.
God Bless.
COD
There will probably still be down days, and that's okay - but the future holds great light and hope for you.
God Bless.
COD
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Southgate, MI
Posts: 30
No offense, Dandylion. I just didn't know where I belonged. Now I know I belong, and I'll never dump you! 
Also just realized today would have been our 8-year anniversary. But I'm still ok for today!
Also just realized today would have been our 8-year anniversary. But I'm still ok for today!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Elyse.....anniversaries are always hard.....can trigger so many memories....
Try your best to stay as busy and distracted as you can make yourself, today....
I was just joshin' you a bit......lol......
You belong here....this is for support and healing and growth.....(not just for the "dumping"..lol).......
dandylion
Try your best to stay as busy and distracted as you can make yourself, today....
I was just joshin' you a bit......lol......
You belong here....this is for support and healing and growth.....(not just for the "dumping"..lol).......
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 216
Elyse,
Thanks for sharing this. Having done this once before but then taken her back without a real recovery, I remember that as the days and weeks went on, the big waves got smaller and less frequent, and the calm, drama-free lifestyle and attention on myself alone really started to pay off. It sounds like this is starting for you! Yay!
Thanks for sharing this. Having done this once before but then taken her back without a real recovery, I remember that as the days and weeks went on, the big waves got smaller and less frequent, and the calm, drama-free lifestyle and attention on myself alone really started to pay off. It sounds like this is starting for you! Yay!
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