Happyoneday

My house finally completed yesterday!! I helped ex ABF clear all his stuff out even though he didn't help me and he was drunk most of the weekend. I took our cats as he cant have them where he is renting he cried when I took them he was drunk but he never got upset when me and his daughter left. He has text nearly everyday since asking how the cats are he hasn't asked about his daughter. Today I have got a text asking if he can see the cats at the weekend!! Me and his daughter have been moved out 8 months I can count on one hand the amount of times he has asked to see her. I replied asking if he was serious? And what about seeing his daughter? He rang which he was clearly drunk but denied it! I told him how I just can't believe he is asking to see the cats but not his daughter he then says he would love to see her too. I said yes now that I have said what about her I said the cats seem more important. I asked again have you had a drink he says no not today even though he was clearly slurring I said I didn't believe him as he was slurring and he then hung up on me!! Just cannot believe it its amazing what drink does to people.

Katsfree

I can feel and understand your frustration, I like to remember the serenity prayer...

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change (others, places things etc.), Courage to change the things I can (me and my actions and reactions), and Wisdom to know the difference (thru trial and error).

Alcoholism is a cunning, baffling and powerful disease, I found I became very edgy, confused, took things personal, in general was not happy... I hope you are able to find a healing path for both you and your daughter, you are worth it.

Kat

Happyoneday

he doesn't even remember the phone call! I kind of guessed he wouldn't

It is just so sad what alcohol does to a person I barely recognise him he is certainly not the same person he was just a few years ago.

AnvilheadII

maybe it's time to institute some boundaries about him contacting you? after an 8 month split, talking EVERY DAY is entirely too entangled, especially if he can't seem to remember he has a daughter he should be asking about. i'd tell him he can call once a week, Mondays at 5pm or something like that.

i'd also force myself to stop replying to nonsense texts that are not directly about the child. STILL querying him about HIS drinking has to be getting old???

Elyse16

It's funny how stupid things seem so important to them (not that I'm saying your cats are stupid). His child should be who and what is first in his mind. This disease is so baffling. How and why they get stuck on certain things of no importance and fight us on it for days used to infuriate me. I was once accused of accusing his kids of stealing my dog food (I left my dog's food there when I visited so I didn't have to bring it) Bc I asked if he could take a pic so I knew if it was running low and to bring more. There wasn't anymore and I said thanks for checking and was promptly accused. Yes, I really think your kids are stealing my dog food to sell on the street.

Hard to understand. Hard to decipher. Sorry you're having to go through this. Might be best to keep the daughter away if he's not In His right mind but understand it's hurtful to you and her to not even ask about her.

Hugs.

Happyoneday

I agree I really do need to stop replying to his texts but it is so much easier said than done some days for example today I havent replied to them but couldn't help it yesterday. also know I shouldn't be asking about his drinking it most definetly is getting old but I just can't help myself when he denies it so blatantly but yet it is so obvious.

Happyoneday

Just to be clear he hasn't text about the cats for 8 months I only took them on Sunday so it's been 6 days but it's still 6 days far to much to hear from him. before I took the cats it could be 4 weeks at a time before he asked about his daughter.

hopelove123

He is selfish. Just as all As are. Glad to know you moved out. You and your daughter deserve more.

Hugs to you.