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Is it ever worth it to write one?

FireSprite

Only as an exercise for yourself to purge the words/emotions. Many people write them & burn them instead of sending them to their Ex.

AnvilheadII

you are assuming that he would
A) READ IT ALL THE WAY THRU
B) UNDERSTAND exactly what you are saying
c) AGREE with you

that's a tall order. because we have put ourselves smack dab back in EXPECTATIONS. and wondering IF they got it yet, IF they read it yet, WHAT they may or may not say in return.

and of course, altho we SAID this was the FINAL good bye....there is likely to be:

-OH and another thing.........letter
-It's been three weeks and I haven't heard back from you.....letter
-Thinking of you on your Great Aunt Agnes's knee surgery day.....letter

get my point? it never ends. not if we keep engaging with THEM.

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I just laughed so hard!!!

firebolt

I have found that any contact what-so-ever only left me feeling worse than before. I agree with FS - writing it for you and only you can be freeing.

hopeful4

It's only worth it if it helps you in any way. If not, then no, not really.

Hugs, many hugs.

Refiner

LOL it's so true though. Writing it is kind of like writing in your personal journal. It helps you more than them - they are on a different planet reading it through their own filters just like with verbal communication.

CentralOhioDad

Anvil sure has a way of just laying it all out there! Love it!

LeeJane

IME, it is worth it for MY own growth, release and closure.

Never to be sent. No good either if the thinking behind it is to send it and to punish the other person. It will just reopen contact and the hornets nest.

I think the motive behind needs to be looked at.

Expanding

I really don't think he understands how much him being in my life changed me. I suppose he won't understand until and unless he starts a recovery process of his own.

Drinking to the point of intoxication; it's not "normal" or average. Just something I surrounded myself with because that's all I knew. That's where he is and no letter or words of encouragement will change that.

I don't hate him, I just can't be around him. I guess that's all I want him to know. I hope on some level he already does

FeelingGreat

I've often wanted to explain to someone how much they hurt me, but its really an exercise in justifying myself and making them sorry.

It only seems to work like that on television because human nature makes us defensive, not sorry.

As with alcoholics, actions say more than words.