Thank you for your support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
Thank you for your support
I want to thank you all for your support yesterday on my first post I know my thoughts and feelings were all over the place and I was finding it difficult to be rational.
I decided not to talk to my husband about AA last night. I was all over the place emotionally and those conversations never turn out well.
I did have a bout of explosive anger that I worked out at crossfit-that workout was brutal yesterday. I was angry because he was sober. I was angry because he was the loving fun person I fell in love with and the previous three days he was an obnoxious drunk a-hole.
I'm so grateful to have found this place. I don't feel quite so alone now. I'm cautiously optimistic because I have read some wonderful stories but I have to remember to try to be patient because he hasn't even agreed to go to AA yet.
I decided not to talk to my husband about AA last night. I was all over the place emotionally and those conversations never turn out well.
I did have a bout of explosive anger that I worked out at crossfit-that workout was brutal yesterday. I was angry because he was sober. I was angry because he was the loving fun person I fell in love with and the previous three days he was an obnoxious drunk a-hole.
I'm so grateful to have found this place. I don't feel quite so alone now. I'm cautiously optimistic because I have read some wonderful stories but I have to remember to try to be patient because he hasn't even agreed to go to AA yet.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
You are wise to not pin your hopes on what he might maybe possibly do somewhere down the road. You'll hear it said a lot around here that he is who he is right now, right this moment--he is NOT his potential. That whole "potential" thing has kept a lot of us stuck for a long time, hoping rather than learning and moving ahead.
Did you make it to that Alanon meeting? If so, how was it?
Did you make it to that Alanon meeting? If so, how was it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: OKC OK
Posts: 414
I didn't go to the al anon meeting-I will go on fridays and saturdays when I'm off work and during the day while husband is at work when I don't have to explain where I'm going. I go to crossfit every evening mon-fri. I've spent so much time cleaning up after him-I've gained so much weight- I refuse to give that up. I have to get back to me.
I know he can quit. I guess he just has to want to. I think I panicked yesterday. Everything has been crumbling down around me and I can't handle that.
I still want to offer AA as a solution. I just don't know when to do it. I know I can't talk to him about ANYTHING when he's drinking. I have a hard time saying things gently. I'm just do what you need to kind of person.
I know he can quit. I guess he just has to want to. I think I panicked yesterday. Everything has been crumbling down around me and I can't handle that.
I still want to offer AA as a solution. I just don't know when to do it. I know I can't talk to him about ANYTHING when he's drinking. I have a hard time saying things gently. I'm just do what you need to kind of person.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 816
Are you afraid of how he will react to you attending alanon meetings?
If not, go when you need to go. Get all the literature you can and bring
it home and don't hide it.
He may ask about it, and you can tell him you are doing it for yourself
as you need help coping with the effects of active alcoholism in your
marriage. You don't have to say anything about him going to AA.
Change your thinking. It's about you and doing what you need to do
to help yourself. Alanon will help you focus on the only person you can change - yourself.
If not, go when you need to go. Get all the literature you can and bring
it home and don't hide it.
He may ask about it, and you can tell him you are doing it for yourself
as you need help coping with the effects of active alcoholism in your
marriage. You don't have to say anything about him going to AA.
Change your thinking. It's about you and doing what you need to do
to help yourself. Alanon will help you focus on the only person you can change - yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,984
Originally Posted by mylifeismine 
Are you afraid of how he will react to you attending alanon meetings?
If not, go when you need to go. Get all the literature you can and bring
it home and don't hide it.
He may ask about it, and you can tell him you are doing it for yourself
as you need help coping with the effects of active alcoholism in your
marriage. You don't have to say anything about him going to AA.
Change your thinking. It's about you and doing what you need to do
to help yourself. Alanon will help you focus on the only person you can change - yourself.
If not, go when you need to go. Get all the literature you can and bring
it home and don't hide it.
He may ask about it, and you can tell him you are doing it for yourself
as you need help coping with the effects of active alcoholism in your
marriage. You don't have to say anything about him going to AA.
Change your thinking. It's about you and doing what you need to do
to help yourself. Alanon will help you focus on the only person you can change - yourself.
His alcoholism is his business. It is up to him to figure out what he wants/needs to do. It is up to you to figure out what your boundaries are and how to stick to them.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
