LovelyKaya33333

Hi everyone,

Well... I spent most of my day in bed today depressed. I texted my sponsor to see if she was going to our 4pm meeting today. She said yes and asked if I wanted to drive with her. I decided to get out of bed and go even though it felt like a monster task at the time. Her and I had a great talk on the way there and on the way back and the meeting itself was amazing... I feel a little better... well much better than I felt crying on my bathroom floor last night. I am going with a girl from todays meeting to a 10 am meeting tomorrow. After that I am going to a BBQ at my sponsors house....
I won't be drinking tomorrow and I am thankful for that. It is actually amazing how much less I drink not being in a relationship with my exAB...... not that me drinking is his fault but just noticing the difference in the two. I haven't seen him in almost 2 and a half weeks and in that time I have had a total of 4 drinks... total... I feel amazing and proud of myself for not drinking to numb anything .... I am eating again...not much but little by little ( it has to be something I really like too ) but at least I am getting some calories. I know I am not out of the fog and I know this will be a long journey but tonight I am celebrating the small victories... I thought that the pain last night was so bad that I could die... but I lived and it eased up a little...

schnappi99

When my raw stopped drinking I decided to as well, in part to be supportive of her but also to see what my relationship with alcohol was. Thankfully it just dropped off the radar and I don't think about it particularly.. I might have one beer or glass of wine if thats whats happening in some situation, otherwise nothing and I don't miss it. I did have a couple drinks at my brother's wedding and felt gross for a few days... so thats the counterweight to the fond memory of a gin martini that will occasionally surface. Not drinking is actually a pretty big change for me- raw and I would easily go drink for drink several nights a week, it drags you down insidiously. Now I'm content to skip the booze, exercise, do other stuff.... pretty cool.

And I'm grateful for all that because I have the mind of an alcoholic.. but booze never gave me the fix. I get my fix from my relationships...

Bekindalways

I love the way you have built these stepping stones of support: Alanon meeting, sponsor, friend, Alanon meeting, BBQ.

Also good for not drinking although when I went through this, I thought if drinking would have helped the pain, I probably would have done it.(Not saying it would have been right but made me more forgiving of As).

May battalions of angels bombard you and may little bits and pieces of healing show up now and then.