DV and guns--another tragedy
 

I'm always harping on here about the danger of DV and guns.

I just emailed my kids about a case that I worked on recently that was just decided by the Supreme Court this week that will make it harder for convicted DV offenders to get guns.

My son emailed me back to tell me he was so happy to hear that, because at that moment he was waiting for word on his friend's aunt, who had just been shot by her ex-husband. I replied expressing my sympathy, and reminding him about resources that could help her in the weeks/months to come. He thanked me, and then emailed me a few minutes later to tell me she wasn't going to make it.

This happened in downtown Denver, apparently at the victim's workplace. The shooter is dead (shot himself, apparently). Nearby offices were evacuated, as no one knew what was happening--workplace shootings are terrifying events.

So another DV victim is dead. I don't know what the history was, but in all probability there was a pattern of violence that preceded this event.

Please, PLEASE, if you are in a violent relationship, reach out for help and safety planning. Consider leaving and doing whatever you need to do to stay safe. ESPECIALLY if there are guns available to your abuser. And especially if you have children--it isn't uncommon for these scenarios to end with the children being killed, too.

Thank you so much for this important, vital, life-saving post, Lexie!!

seriously, at the first sign of abuse, LEAVE. it will not get better. abuse is NEVER acceptable, ever.

I think I am actually speechless right now. I want to extend condolences to your sons friend family.

I know how often we read and respond to someone who wants to leave, or who should really leave. There is more to think about instead of just leaving, you need to think of your safety.

I haven't read this whole supreme court ruling yet. I don't know if you actually need to be convicted of DV, or just arrested. I do think one of the most unpredictable times is when you have a TRO. (temporary restraining order)

You have a piece of paper saying this, but that paper isn't going to stop a bullet.

Protective orders DO provide certain protections, including no contact with the children, financial support provisions, and they enable the police to make an arrest at the first contact, before it escalates.

The federal firearms provision at issue in the court opinion requires a conviction of a misdemeanor crime involving the use of force against someone in a specified domestic relationship to the offender. There is a separate federal provision that bars individuals subject to permanent (not temporary) protective orders from possessing firearms (which can be another advantage to obtaining an order).

What is safest to do in a particular situation is very fact-sensitive, so it is best to contact an advocate for guidance--preferably at the local women's shelter, the prosecutor's office, or at the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Even if you conclude it's safer not to leave (yet), an advocate can help with safety planning to reduce the risk to yourself and your children (and pets).

This is a really good law that was passed, and thank you for any part that you had in it. I really do thank you.

What I think I would like expressed here also, is that this law will not help you, until or unless women or men start to press charges for DV.

DV is still not taken serious in the courts, and most times it's a night in jail, while your wife may be in the hospital, then a day in court, where the judge says go to classes for 6 months, then go back to court, and all charges are dismissed.

I totally agree that a lot of times you need to call DV, go to a shelter, and get away safely.

That person that you are living with, the person you love......... you really never know what they are capable of.

amy

Lexie, I'm not arguing with you at all. I did a "happy dance" when I heard that was approved. Then I thought of the people who were currently in an abusive relationship. I really didn't want them to misunderstand this. That you need to be convicted first.

amy

Right, but as I said, a protective order also results in a firearms prohibition.

And just to be clear, I had nothing to do with the passing of the law (which has been in effect since the late 90s), but only with the court case involving this issue of which statutes can be the basis for a qualifying conviction.

The bigger problem is that many states do not follow the federal law, and there aren't enough federal resources to identify and prosecute all the people possessing guns in violation of the law. If anyone is looking for a cause to rally behind, gun restrictions for DV offenders is a good one.

Lexie.....I am so grateful for any attention or actions that are brought to this subject...of guns and domestic violence.....
You do important work.

You are right that workplace shootings are so terrifying. I have, personally, worked at two places where the woman was shot by a boyfriend and a husband....
The first one...I was on duty in the emergency room and was a part of the team in the futile attempt to revive her. She was shot in another section of that same hospital while at work.
Same thing happened in another hospital that I worked at...but, I wasn't on duty the night that it happened. The whole staff was shaken...as many knew her, personally. The boyfriend, had brought her food for her lunch break..and, then shot her when they were alone in the lunch room.....

It is one thing when you hear about these things...but, sooo different when it happens where you are and to people that you know.
It makes it a real thing......

Heard the ruling on the news the other day. Very happy about it.

Lexie, thank you for sharing this!

I thought of you, Lexie, when the decision came down this week. What a profound relief to know that the Supreme Court upheld that law!

Gah, this is an all too common scenario. Horrifying for your son and his friend/friends aunt. Glad to hear the Supreme Court upheld this law to make it harder for them to get guns.

Thanks for passing on, Lexie.