Alcoholic sister with newborn -- need advice
 

I'll try to sum this up as quickly as possible.

I have a twin sister who is an alcoholic. She's been an alcoholic/drug user for more than 10 years and it has gotten progressively worse over time. Over the years, she's been in and out of several (I've lost count) rehab facilities (both in-patient and out-patient) and she's had several run-ins with police. Last year, she was convicted of a felony for assaulting an officer. She was on parole until a couple weeks ago.

About a year ago, she found out she was pregnant and to my knowledge was sober for almost a year. Now that her parole is over (and the risk of jail time for violating it removed), she has started drinking again. This is terrible for many reasons, not the least of which is her 3-month old daughter she cares for. She has a live-in boyfriend who is also a drug/alcohol user, though he is far more functional and works about 50 hours a week. My sister has been on disability and welfare for some time and I can't remember the last time she worked.

Her boyfriend (baby daddy) also has an 8-year daughter with visitation every other weekend.

This weekend, my sister went on a bender and got violent (which is not uncommon for her). Her boyfriend called 911, but the police said they couldn't do anything since it was her word against his. Their 3-month old and his 8-year old were home at the time and I know the 8-year old was terrified.

Because her boyfriend works a lot, my sister is home with their baby by herself pretty much all the time. I am concerned that she will continue drinking as she has every time in the past.

This weekend the boyfriend asked me and my husband to watch their baby for a few days while he found a new place to live. She was passed out drunk at the time but was inconsolable when she woke up and realized what happened. She convinced him to stay and he picked up their daughter the next morning (she was apparently too sick from the alcohol to ride in the car with him).

What will happen if I call CPS? Should I call? I am worried about her daughter (my niece). I live an hour and a half away so I can't just check in and see how things are going. I won't really know if anything is going on unless her boyfriend lets me know.

My husband and I would probably be willing to care for their daughter if it comes to that. I would hate for her to end up in foster care.

Thanks in advance for reading this and providing any guidance.

oh Bostonlucy, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It must be very painful to watch/hear. I can't offer advice on this, my situation never involved children, but I'm sure some family members who have been in similar situations can chime in. I just want to let you know, you're not alone and someone is praying for you to find an answer.

I would call CPS and let them know you are willing to provide care for your niece. It's possible she might be briefly placed in a foster-care setting, but there is always a preference for capable, responsible family members to provide care when possible.

She won't be whisked away forever. It's also possible they may try other interventions (such as services to your sister) before the child is removed from her care. It depends on a lot of factors.

I would call, though--it's terrible for both kids to be in this kind of home situation.

Absolutely call CPS. She and her boyfriend sound like a danger to these children.

I think I would call CPS and tell them her history, the police being called, the drug/alcohol situation with the both of them and another child in their care every other weekend. If you are willing to give them your name you can also tell them about him dropping the children with you so that he could find other housing.

God forbid something were to happen to the baby or that little girl and you didn't call, that would be some heavy guilt to live with.

It's not an easy decision but someone with a clear head needs to advocate for those children.

Call CPS and let them know the situation and that you are willing to care for your niece. You never know what calls have already been made. Offer your sister some time to get her life together and offer to take care of your niece during that time. This situation, of course, has to work for you and your husband. I adopted my niece and she is the best thing that ever happened to me :). My sister wanted a healthy life for her child and gave up her rights. It was hard for her, but I am still impressed that she made that choice.

Please, call the CPS. The kids can't live like this.

The 3 month old can not speak for herself. Be her advocate as she deserves a chance in life.

Did you see on the news a mom who just got arrested for breastfeeding her new born, because the mom had done coke and it went into the baby's system. The baby was lethargic and her eyes were rolling in the back of her head.

Please stick up for your precious neice. Maybe this is what it will take for her to get her act together.