Help! Alcoholic Partner

Old 06-28-2016, 08:09 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 6
I had to leave state for an appointment and thought the kids would be okay with their mother. Turns out I made a huge mistake: she left them alone and spent all day in the bar ;(. She hadn't been to the bar in quite a long time and I did not think she would just leave her kids at home alone to do this... So angry and sad and unsure what to do now. Thankfully a friend of both of us could come to our house to make sure the kids are OK.

I have talked to the kids and tried to explain to them what is happening to their mother. And I'm certainly never ever going to agree to buy another drop of alcohol for her no matter how many fits she throws: if anything this has definitely openened my eyes to how severe the situation already is.

I am going to look into the legal possibilities but suspect I have little legal ground to stand on: I have no legal connection to these children - marriage, guardianship, etc. If I could delay this move to buy some time for all of us I would, but I'm already legally obligated at this point.

Atalose, for what it's worth, my partner has been desperate to move away from where we live. She hates her job here and has almost no connections in the town.
Celi92 is offline  
Old 06-28-2016, 08:14 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, you could involve CPS in this situation. As their stepparent (which is basically the role you play in their lives, regardless of whether you're married) you might even have a legal obligation to report this child neglect.

It's apparent that YOU cannot protect the children from her. And the intervention might make a difference, if custody of her children is at stake. I just don't see this situation improving as a result of this move.
LexieCat is offline  
Old 06-29-2016, 03:53 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
 
redatlanta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Are the Grandparents aware of the children's precarious situation with their mother? They aware the mother is an Alcoholic?

Any chance they would be willing to take the kids or work with you on a custody arrangement?

CPS seems to be the way to go as Lexie suggests. These children can't be left alone with this woman.
redatlanta is offline  
Old 06-29-2016, 05:40 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
dandylion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Celi.....I join the others who encourage you to do the best thing for the children...to make them the priority......
The two of you are adults and can make your own decisions....But, in the end, the children will be the ones who suffer the most from the effects of the alcoholism..as their future lives are being affected by what happens in the now...
It looks like you are going to leave, from what you have shared....and, it sounds like you are taking her with you (from what you said)......
I bel ieve that you will be doing a lateral transfer---transferring your collective problems to a new geographic location.....
Changing locations won't change the alcoholism....in spite of what she says!
At the point when it DOES implode.....at least, have a plan for the children....
Find out your legal possibilities---don't just assume.
Let the grandparents know the children's bad situation....
Contact the child protective services who can take care of the children when you ever decide to exit the relationship....

It takes a village....and you are a very significant part of that village for these children.....

dandylion
dandylion is offline  
Old 06-29-2016, 06:04 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
A work in progress
 
LexieCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
The other aspect of reporting this to CPS is that if you did have to leave at some point, you might be in a position to continue to care for them. As the person who has had a role in their day-to-day lives, if there are no competent, fit family members who can care for them, it's conceivable you could obtain temporary custody. The law varies greatly from one state to another. This is why it's so important to get good legal advice.
LexieCat is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:22 PM.