LeeJane

I wanted to share my gratitude and say thanks for this site and all those that are here and run it and take part.

I am growing and learning so much.

I noticed yesterday (with pleasure) that my body no longer reacts to someone elses anger. That debilitating release of 'Fight or Flight' chemicals no longer happens. I don't get the sick in the stomach, anxiety feeling. I speak especially of A's anger. Anger that isn't real and can be freely directed everywhere at their distorted will.

I think this reaction had stopped in me some time ago but I hadn't fully realised.

I see AH acting out as boring! No emotional release in me.

This was the state of mind and attitude in me that I have working to reach. Over come my ingrained training!

Being around AH has given me a great opportunity to work on myself and not be attracted towards the same old, same old dysfunctional drunks/personality disorders.

I remember reading a long time ago that you knew you were recovered when the very behaviours that set your tummy wobbling and you were attracted towards, became boring.

It is never about "them", it is about why are we with them!!!

Enjoying this journey. Thanks again for this wonderful resource.

Bekindalways

Wonderful post Leejane.

I love the line, "It is never about them, it is about why we are with them."

LeeJane

Thank you.

I started this journey wondering why I had had a series of dysfunctional relationships and what was wrong with all of those men I picked!!

Gradually I realised what was wrong was ME and the choices I made.

Your user name is lovely.

LexieCat

I know, isn't it? I always think even doing things that seem harsh can be done with kindness.

You're doing great, LJ, and thanks for sharing all your ESH with us!

LeeJane

Thank you, Lexie Cat. I enjoy sharing it here.

One of the biggest changes in me is I have a lovely, soft, kind, calm voice now! I love it when I hear it coming out of me.

I used to have a loud, angry sounding, rather aggressive voice.

It's funny I used to think to be strong, you needed to be loud, stomp about! Not at all, I am very strong, yet soft and kind with it.

My boundaries are very strong so I feel protected so I don't need to scare people away.

I agree that even harsh issues can be dealt with in a kind manner.

Glad to be here.

honeypig

This is pure gold, LeeJane! It's going into my "Wisdom of SR" file. Thanks so much, and it is so wonderful to see how you've learned and grown.

maia1234

LJ,
Keep working the program, it only gets better when we learn to detach!!

LeeJane

Thank you, Honeypig, for this and also thanks for all the service work you do on this wonderful site.

Thank you, I will. I am enjoying the journey, painful parts and all! Once the pain is worked through, more peace can be found.

I didn't realise the life I craved was calm, peaceful and orderly. The exact opposite of my childhood and how I was living.

hopeful4

Love this! We cannot change their actions but we can sure change how we react, and you have done just that. Good for you!

LeeJane

Thank you. It is a life changer when we realise this, I think.