AW Biz Trip - How Will We Manage???
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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AW Biz Trip - How Will We Manage???
Okay, so I'm being a bit facetious there! AW announced the other night that she had bad news - I figured she was announcing her parents would be visiting (Alcoholic Mother and Enabling Father). Turns out she wanted to tell me that she needs to go on a week-long business trip in July, but didn' know if I would be okay with it..
Umm, what??? Heck yeah I'm okay with it!! I did manage to temper my enthusiasm so it didn't seem like I was overly giddy!! She said "well, you'll have to take care of the house and DS by yourself - I'm sorry to do this to you!". Again... WHAT?? I do that now with DS - pick him up from school, make dinner, do the dishes, and put him to bed, and do the laundry! She does drop him off at school in the mornings, but I can do that for a week.
Actually, to have the active A out of the house for the week should make the house more calm and fun. I am praying the trip doesn't get canceled, then I'll be sad!
The ego of the A says that everything will crumble if they aren't there - and yet the reality is that there will be more stability, and more structure, with the A gone. Especially since A's aren't that helpful around the house anyway.
Just thought I would share....
COD
Umm, what??? Heck yeah I'm okay with it!! I did manage to temper my enthusiasm so it didn't seem like I was overly giddy!! She said "well, you'll have to take care of the house and DS by yourself - I'm sorry to do this to you!". Again... WHAT?? I do that now with DS - pick him up from school, make dinner, do the dishes, and put him to bed, and do the laundry! She does drop him off at school in the mornings, but I can do that for a week.
Actually, to have the active A out of the house for the week should make the house more calm and fun. I am praying the trip doesn't get canceled, then I'll be sad!
The ego of the A says that everything will crumble if they aren't there - and yet the reality is that there will be more stability, and more structure, with the A gone. Especially since A's aren't that helpful around the house anyway.
Just thought I would share....
COD
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Location: Wisconsin
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COHD, my STBXAH worked out of town for months at a time at various points in our marriage, and while it was hard in some ways (particularly when DS was in challenging phases), it was ALWAYS better for us emotionally, and like you said, my overall workload actually went down because I wasn't cleaning up after STBXAH.
I'm sure you will find a way to soldier on during her absence. *snort*
I'm sure you will find a way to soldier on during her absence. *snort*
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Haha - oh COD, I remember feeling the same way when XABF would leave to go fish, or if I was leaving town. There was a distinct shift in me a few years ago...I went from being terrified to leave town (because, oh God, he would drink! haha) to being ecstatic for him or I to leave, because it meant peace.
You enjoy the heck out of that work trip!!
You enjoy the heck out of that work trip!!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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My STBXAH's last extended stint out of town was exactly the time I needed to get my own head on straight, and really appreciate how much more peaceful life was without him. You may very well find that after she spends a week away, you are more willing to consider getting out NOW.
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Originally Posted by Wisconsin 
My STBXAH's last extended stint out of town was exactly the time I needed to get my own head on straight, and really appreciate how much more peaceful life was without him. You may very well find that after she spends a week away, you are more willing to consider getting out NOW.
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The ego of the A says that everything will crumble if they aren't there -
Add in alcoholism and this mindset reaches even higher, more absurd levels.
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Originally Posted by Wisconsin
My STBXAH's last extended stint out of town was exactly the time I needed to get my own head on straight, and really appreciate how much more peaceful life was without him. You may very well find that after she spends a week away, you are more willing to consider getting out NOW.
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Yup, great minds think alike--I had the exact same thought. Sometimes you have to try something on for size, like the prospect of single parenting of an ACTUAL child, as opposed to a child and an alcoholic who is much more work (and harder to discipline).
Just think, COD--you could get up every day knowing the biggest battles you will have are over bedtime and TV/computer usage.
Just think, COD--you could get up every day knowing the biggest battles you will have are over bedtime and TV/computer usage.
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I had missed this post COD!
I hope you get some much needed peace! When I kicked my XAH out of my house, or even when he would just be gone for a few days, I enjoyed the peace very much. Once he was officially gone, wow. Just wow. I realized just how much he ADDED to my stress and work load at the house, not lessen it in any way.
I hope you get some much needed peace! When I kicked my XAH out of my house, or even when he would just be gone for a few days, I enjoyed the peace very much. Once he was officially gone, wow. Just wow. I realized just how much he ADDED to my stress and work load at the house, not lessen it in any way.
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