Things Are A Mess!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Things Are A Mess!!
Hi,
Haven't posted in a few weeks. I am doing well in my new little house with my 2 precious dogs. My shoulder is still bad. The fracture has healed, but they think I'm going to need my rotator cuff repaired. Being a nurse, I'm very reluctant to have surgery.
Things with my divorce, are a mess. I filed in January, and still don't have a mediation date or court date. My ah is destroying everything we have.
His truck payment, which is in both our names, I'm primary, is 2 months behind. Our motorhone was repossed.
Our business checking account. I was surprised there hasn't been a cash deposit in at least 4 months. My ah, opened a new business account, that he's putting all the cash into, and I don't have access to it.
Before I left our house in February, I paid our insurance bill, which included both vehicles and the house. I thought it was for 6 months. The policy was in my ah name. I called the insurance company, a family friend of my ah for about 30 yrs. They told me, the policy payment was due April 1st. My ah didn't pay the premium was if was cancelled for non- payment. He then took out a policy for himself. I now have to pay thousands extra for my insurance due to canceled for non- payment. I didn't get a cancellation notice because my ah got it because tge policy was in his name.
The list us growing !!! His sister is paying all his bills. She is now a debtor of my ah.
I still can't get into my home, my ah is refusing to let me in!
I'm so afraid he's running everything into the ground! And his sister is helping him!
I know I did the absolutely right thing by leaving.
How long does this divorce thing take. I feel like I have no rights!! Would appreciate any advice.
Thank you all for listening
Z
Haven't posted in a few weeks. I am doing well in my new little house with my 2 precious dogs. My shoulder is still bad. The fracture has healed, but they think I'm going to need my rotator cuff repaired. Being a nurse, I'm very reluctant to have surgery.
Things with my divorce, are a mess. I filed in January, and still don't have a mediation date or court date. My ah is destroying everything we have.
His truck payment, which is in both our names, I'm primary, is 2 months behind. Our motorhone was repossed.
Our business checking account. I was surprised there hasn't been a cash deposit in at least 4 months. My ah, opened a new business account, that he's putting all the cash into, and I don't have access to it.
Before I left our house in February, I paid our insurance bill, which included both vehicles and the house. I thought it was for 6 months. The policy was in my ah name. I called the insurance company, a family friend of my ah for about 30 yrs. They told me, the policy payment was due April 1st. My ah didn't pay the premium was if was cancelled for non- payment. He then took out a policy for himself. I now have to pay thousands extra for my insurance due to canceled for non- payment. I didn't get a cancellation notice because my ah got it because tge policy was in his name.
The list us growing !!! His sister is paying all his bills. She is now a debtor of my ah.
I still can't get into my home, my ah is refusing to let me in!
I'm so afraid he's running everything into the ground! And his sister is helping him!
I know I did the absolutely right thing by leaving.
How long does this divorce thing take. I feel like I have no rights!! Would appreciate any advice.
Thank you all for listening
Z
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
I believe you are a member of the business? Is it incorporated? LLC? Are you listed as an officer, or member? If so it MAY be inconsequential that he has opened another account. In fact I hope that it causes him some issues because he did 
.
If your AH took out another policy insuring the home and the car I'm unsure why you would have to reinstate the cancelled policy. Perhaps you just need to further talk with someone about this but from the way you describe it sounds like you would be double insuring by reinstating the policy since he purchased another? This might be a matter of calling the insurance company directly rather than the "friend". If it was in HIS name, then it shouldn't affect YOU. Why are YOU being told you have to reinstate HIS policy? Yeah, I don't think so. That your name was not on the policy is in your favor. The car that you have in your possession, is it in your name? His name? Both?
What's going on with your attorney? I assume you are receiving zero in financial support. Why hasn't your attorney moved for an emergency hearing for temporary support Did you receive a paycheck from the business before you split? Why hasn't your attorney moved on getting your things out of the house?
I'm puzzled by your attorney.
.If your AH took out another policy insuring the home and the car I'm unsure why you would have to reinstate the cancelled policy. Perhaps you just need to further talk with someone about this but from the way you describe it sounds like you would be double insuring by reinstating the policy since he purchased another? This might be a matter of calling the insurance company directly rather than the "friend". If it was in HIS name, then it shouldn't affect YOU. Why are YOU being told you have to reinstate HIS policy? Yeah, I don't think so. That your name was not on the policy is in your favor. The car that you have in your possession, is it in your name? His name? Both?
What's going on with your attorney? I assume you are receiving zero in financial support. Why hasn't your attorney moved for an emergency hearing for temporary support Did you receive a paycheck from the business before you split? Why hasn't your attorney moved on getting your things out of the house?
I'm puzzled by your attorney.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
I'm very upset with my attorney. He was supposed to have a call with me this morning but just cancelled till Wednesday, supposedly in court for the next 2 days.
As for the business. He left the other account open, with the credit card credits going into that account. Frankly, I think it would have cost him money to move it to the new account. He is only depositing the cash to that new account. It is an LLC, and I am an owner with him, due to me investing my money, actually some if the money my mother left me.
As to my car. The policy that was in his name, that he let cancel for non- payment, included my car, which is in my name, and I am the primary driver. He took out a new policy, just for the house and his truck. Let the insurance on my car lapse. That's why it's going to cost a few thousand dollars to insure it now due to lapse in coverage. I never got a cancellation notice, because the policy was in his name
I'm just so fustrated. I didn't do anything here! My ah is actively drinking. He had to produce his last few credit card statements, and there had to be at least 25 charges to the State Liquor store and another at least 25 charges for cartons of cigarettes.
When does it get really better???? I am just trying to survive!
Thanks again for listening!
Z
I'm very upset with my attorney. He was supposed to have a call with me this morning but just cancelled till Wednesday, supposedly in court for the next 2 days.
As for the business. He left the other account open, with the credit card credits going into that account. Frankly, I think it would have cost him money to move it to the new account. He is only depositing the cash to that new account. It is an LLC, and I am an owner with him, due to me investing my money, actually some if the money my mother left me.
As to my car. The policy that was in his name, that he let cancel for non- payment, included my car, which is in my name, and I am the primary driver. He took out a new policy, just for the house and his truck. Let the insurance on my car lapse. That's why it's going to cost a few thousand dollars to insure it now due to lapse in coverage. I never got a cancellation notice, because the policy was in his name
I'm just so fustrated. I didn't do anything here! My ah is actively drinking. He had to produce his last few credit card statements, and there had to be at least 25 charges to the State Liquor store and another at least 25 charges for cartons of cigarettes.
When does it get really better???? I am just trying to survive!
Thanks again for listening!
Z
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,388
Zircon,
If the policy is in his name, and he missed the payment, and then he opened another policy, and you do not live in that house anymore . . . Could you talk to your attorney about this? It just does not make much sense that you have to pay thousands. I mean, the house IS insured.
Ok, just read your post. How about looking for a new insurance company that has no ties with your AH? Knowing those companies, they are always happy to have new clients. And it might save you some money. Just an idea.
If the policy is in his name, and he missed the payment, and then he opened another policy, and you do not live in that house anymore . . . Could you talk to your attorney about this? It just does not make much sense that you have to pay thousands. I mean, the house IS insured.
Ok, just read your post. How about looking for a new insurance company that has no ties with your AH? Knowing those companies, they are always happy to have new clients. And it might save you some money. Just an idea.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Thousands???
Forget the family of friend of AH.
I suggest you call an insurance company direct and explain the situation (actually call the insurance company you were using. They have a relationship with your car even though you were not on the policy). You may have to come out of pocket and pay for at least 6 month up front, but you certainly are not the first to have had this issue. They can see if you have had a ticket or a car accident and may just require that you sign some sort of document stating that you are not making any claims since the policy lapsed and now.
Certainly this needs to be addressed ASAP today. You need to check with the DMV and see if your license has been suspended. I hate to have to tell you that, but many states will suspend a license due to cancellation of insurance. I am hoping that yours doesn't, or that maybe you slipped through the cracks.
On a brighter note your AH is doing things that generally do NOT bode well in a divorce. Cancelling insurance, switching accounts etc - if it was a personal account that would be one thing. Businesses are separate legal entities. You are just as equal in that business as you always were.
I'm still scratching my head over your attorney.
Forget the family of friend of AH.
I suggest you call an insurance company direct and explain the situation (actually call the insurance company you were using. They have a relationship with your car even though you were not on the policy). You may have to come out of pocket and pay for at least 6 month up front, but you certainly are not the first to have had this issue. They can see if you have had a ticket or a car accident and may just require that you sign some sort of document stating that you are not making any claims since the policy lapsed and now.
Certainly this needs to be addressed ASAP today. You need to check with the DMV and see if your license has been suspended. I hate to have to tell you that, but many states will suspend a license due to cancellation of insurance. I am hoping that yours doesn't, or that maybe you slipped through the cracks.
On a brighter note your AH is doing things that generally do NOT bode well in a divorce. Cancelling insurance, switching accounts etc - if it was a personal account that would be one thing. Businesses are separate legal entities. You are just as equal in that business as you always were.
I'm still scratching my head over your attorney.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Ok here is the deal. I work in the insurance field. This happens ALL THE TIME.
You can take out a new policy in your name only. The premium will be higher b/c you have been w/out coverage for over 30 days, but not THOUSANDS higher. No. If your name is on the title of his vehicle, you have an insurable interest in it. I would demand they add you as an additional interest on his policy. They should do so with no problem since your name is on the title. This way, two things will happen. They will list you and if there is a claim, your name will also be on the claims check. And, if he lets the insurance lapse, you will be notified of the cancellation.
The house should be insured in both of your names if both of you are on the deed. Period. They will however only use one mailing address, so you may have to have yourself listed as an additional interest on the home as well, which will also provide you with policy documentation.
As far as the bank account for the business, I would go speak to the bank.
I would fire your attorney who is doing a POOR job. I would retain a new attorney. In my state, when you file for divorce, there is an automatic stay that prohibits you from making these sorts of changes, and if you do, you are in contempt of court.
If your credit is already marked too badly, you may have to in the end file for bankruptcy. That's ok. Lots of people do, and life will go on. As far as his vehicle, you cannot legally steal a vehicle your name is on. Go, get it, and sell it.
That is my .02 friend
Many hugs.
You can take out a new policy in your name only. The premium will be higher b/c you have been w/out coverage for over 30 days, but not THOUSANDS higher. No. If your name is on the title of his vehicle, you have an insurable interest in it. I would demand they add you as an additional interest on his policy. They should do so with no problem since your name is on the title. This way, two things will happen. They will list you and if there is a claim, your name will also be on the claims check. And, if he lets the insurance lapse, you will be notified of the cancellation.
The house should be insured in both of your names if both of you are on the deed. Period. They will however only use one mailing address, so you may have to have yourself listed as an additional interest on the home as well, which will also provide you with policy documentation.
As far as the bank account for the business, I would go speak to the bank.
I would fire your attorney who is doing a POOR job. I would retain a new attorney. In my state, when you file for divorce, there is an automatic stay that prohibits you from making these sorts of changes, and if you do, you are in contempt of court.
If your credit is already marked too badly, you may have to in the end file for bankruptcy. That's ok. Lots of people do, and life will go on. As far as his vehicle, you cannot legally steal a vehicle your name is on. Go, get it, and sell it.
That is my .02 friend
Many hugs.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: NC
Posts: 662
Now while I didn't complete law school yet, and family law is only a semester in the 3 year program, (so nothing here is concrete) EVERYTHING inside of me is screaming that what your husband is doing is wrong, that your lawyer is SERIOUSLY DROPPING THE BALL, and that there are laws that protect someone against this type of action.
I would call a different lawyer (many have free consultations) and ask if there is a way in your state to freeze everything so that he cannot destroy everything out of spite. I remember reading so many cases in law school used to teach us the laws where the one party attempted to do this to the other and all hell broke lose and it was stopped, the person was compensated, and the person that thought they were being so smart and sneaky ended up really screwed.
You do not have to sit by allowing all this to happen, I would get a new lawyer or at least ask around the legal community in your state about what your options are with this type situation.
I am sorry he is being so spiteful, but this won't last forever.
I would call a different lawyer (many have free consultations) and ask if there is a way in your state to freeze everything so that he cannot destroy everything out of spite. I remember reading so many cases in law school used to teach us the laws where the one party attempted to do this to the other and all hell broke lose and it was stopped, the person was compensated, and the person that thought they were being so smart and sneaky ended up really screwed.
You do not have to sit by allowing all this to happen, I would get a new lawyer or at least ask around the legal community in your state about what your options are with this type situation.
I am sorry he is being so spiteful, but this won't last forever.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Another lawyer here who has serious concerns about the job your attorney is doing. At the very LEAST, the lawyer should be "stopping the bleeding" so bad things don't happen while the divorce is proceeding, and s/he should be explaining everything being done (or not done) and why (or why not).
I don't know all the details of your lawyer's practice, so I won't say for certain s/he is doing a lousy job, but you're unhappy and nobody is giving you satisfactory answers or action, so if I were you I'd be shopping for a new lawyer. Your lawyer is obligated to turn the file over any new lawyer you get, and if your lawyer has committed malpractice that cost you money then that's something that can be looked into later. First things first. You need to stop the bleeding.
I don't know all the details of your lawyer's practice, so I won't say for certain s/he is doing a lousy job, but you're unhappy and nobody is giving you satisfactory answers or action, so if I were you I'd be shopping for a new lawyer. Your lawyer is obligated to turn the file over any new lawyer you get, and if your lawyer has committed malpractice that cost you money then that's something that can be looked into later. First things first. You need to stop the bleeding.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
I hate to chime in here because this is a horrible thing to need to chime in to.
I have been divorced once. That divorce took 3 years. Many times they do stuff like this, either under advice of counsel, or with thier counsels full knowledge.
And to protest, requires a hearing to argue, which can take months. Meanwhile you hemoraging and they know it.
Here is how every female in here needs to view a divorce. Females divorce with emotions, men divorce with wallets.
Once you understand the war that you are in, you have to start thinking like your enemy. Hit him hard in the wallet and he will want to get this over with more quickly.
I was hemoraging 8K a month under "temporary" orders. By design they wanted to drag that out as long as possible. 3 years at 8K a month, trust me brought about misery. In the end the judge said she owed me money. Which she magically no longer had. So they awarded me all assets aquired during the marriage. Which were all gone by then. Since I made more money than she did, I wasn't going to get alimony or anything else $$ wise.
Ya'll need to prepare for financial war, because you won't phase him one bit with an emotional war.
What he is doing is wrong. By the time you see a judge you may well be so damaged financially that it won't matter by then.
I have been divorced once. That divorce took 3 years. Many times they do stuff like this, either under advice of counsel, or with thier counsels full knowledge.
And to protest, requires a hearing to argue, which can take months. Meanwhile you hemoraging and they know it.
Here is how every female in here needs to view a divorce. Females divorce with emotions, men divorce with wallets.
Once you understand the war that you are in, you have to start thinking like your enemy. Hit him hard in the wallet and he will want to get this over with more quickly.
I was hemoraging 8K a month under "temporary" orders. By design they wanted to drag that out as long as possible. 3 years at 8K a month, trust me brought about misery. In the end the judge said she owed me money. Which she magically no longer had. So they awarded me all assets aquired during the marriage. Which were all gone by then. Since I made more money than she did, I wasn't going to get alimony or anything else $$ wise.
Ya'll need to prepare for financial war, because you won't phase him one bit with an emotional war.
What he is doing is wrong. By the time you see a judge you may well be so damaged financially that it won't matter by then.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
A New Day
Hi,
Thank you all for your support and advice.
I am looking for a new attorney. We had a scheduled telephone call yesterday @ 9AM, he cancelled. Stayed in court all day yesterday and probably today as well. Can call in Wednesday. Not good enough for me right now!
Thank you for the insurance advice. I called my old insurance company. I spoke with my ah friend of 30 years. He had an answer for everything, but asked me if if like him to work up a quote for me, and call me back. I said ok, have nothing to loose. He came back with a number that was almost unbelievable!! Very reasonable since my insurance had lapsed. I called 4 insurance companies, all where within 100.00 dollars of each other. He was about 1/2 of what I was quoted. He also offered to come meet me with the paperwork so I didn't have to drive my vehicle till insured. Also, thank you for the advice, he discussed the insurance policy that my ah took out on our home. He stated he didn't know I was on the deed, and I did need to be put on the policy. Stated he couldn't alter the policy, but told me to have my lawyer call, and it would be fixed. Obviously something wasn't done the way it should have, or he wasn't given the correct information by my ah, because he is bending over backwards to help me!!!! I'm call i called. Thank you
I thing right now the biggest fustration is my attorney which I'm working on!
Also, I'm wondering how can my ah open a new business account, that j can't access, and is diverting only the cash deposits. Is that legal ? He still has the credit card payments going into the original account. I think it might cost him money to move that. Could my ah have created a new account because he accused me of being a thief and stealing money from the business. I had receipts for everything. My ah also was told when I took the money to pay off the credit card, that was supposed to be a corporate card, but the bank made a mistake and it was secured by me. I transferred the money directly to pay off the balance and closed the account. Only charges on that account a was business inventory and my ah booze and cigarettes. Could my ah use that as a reason to open a new business account?? Doesn't make any sense.
I'm starting to ramble! Sorry! The whole thing is so crazy. Thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart for all your support, advice, and most important the way you care. I can feel your feelings through your words!! THANK YOU!
Z
Thank you all for your support and advice.
I am looking for a new attorney. We had a scheduled telephone call yesterday @ 9AM, he cancelled. Stayed in court all day yesterday and probably today as well. Can call in Wednesday. Not good enough for me right now!
Thank you for the insurance advice. I called my old insurance company. I spoke with my ah friend of 30 years. He had an answer for everything, but asked me if if like him to work up a quote for me, and call me back. I said ok, have nothing to loose. He came back with a number that was almost unbelievable!! Very reasonable since my insurance had lapsed. I called 4 insurance companies, all where within 100.00 dollars of each other. He was about 1/2 of what I was quoted. He also offered to come meet me with the paperwork so I didn't have to drive my vehicle till insured. Also, thank you for the advice, he discussed the insurance policy that my ah took out on our home. He stated he didn't know I was on the deed, and I did need to be put on the policy. Stated he couldn't alter the policy, but told me to have my lawyer call, and it would be fixed. Obviously something wasn't done the way it should have, or he wasn't given the correct information by my ah, because he is bending over backwards to help me!!!! I'm call i called. Thank you
I thing right now the biggest fustration is my attorney which I'm working on!
Also, I'm wondering how can my ah open a new business account, that j can't access, and is diverting only the cash deposits. Is that legal ? He still has the credit card payments going into the original account. I think it might cost him money to move that. Could my ah have created a new account because he accused me of being a thief and stealing money from the business. I had receipts for everything. My ah also was told when I took the money to pay off the credit card, that was supposed to be a corporate card, but the bank made a mistake and it was secured by me. I transferred the money directly to pay off the balance and closed the account. Only charges on that account a was business inventory and my ah booze and cigarettes. Could my ah use that as a reason to open a new business account?? Doesn't make any sense.
I'm starting to ramble! Sorry! The whole thing is so crazy. Thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart for all your support, advice, and most important the way you care. I can feel your feelings through your words!! THANK YOU!
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think once you get a new attorney, all that stuff about the business and the accounts will be addressed. You know what he's doing, and he will HAVE to provide financial records during the divorce.
Breathe. A new lawyer should get this handled promptly.
Breathe. A new lawyer should get this handled promptly.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
As you are an owner in the business its not *legal* for him to divert funds from you, nor to deny you proceeds from the business, nor to deny you access to SEE accounts, A/P, A/R and so forth. I can't say that changing the account in itself was improper, I suppose it depends on how the business was constructed initially, and if he in some way is in violation of that.
I'd be way more concerned about diversion and accounting than the action of opening another account (though that in itself points to the above). He could very well have started having people pay by check in his name, rather than the business, so that he can cash the checks rather than have to deposit. I would also be concerned as to whether or not he is making quarterly tax payments which is something that could come back and bite YOU in the arse as you are an owner. I suspect he is diverting because generally speaking CC and Debit payments are far more common than checks now a days, unless you have always run your business via check for payment. You should know the answer to that.
I am guessing he has left the CC payments going to the old account because he is too ignorant, lazy or drunk to figure out how to change the account settings. Sounds like you were the one who handled all of that. Or, if you are both signators on the account you both have to sign to close the account I believe. It may be that he is just floating enough in that account to keep it from going upside down on banking fees since he can't close it himself? Again, you ran the business for long enough to know if the CC payments are normal. I don't necessarily believe his sister is floating him I would not be surprised he is doing just fine financially, and wants you to think there is nothing there. If he is cashing checks made out to him it will be difficult to follow that trail unless he has some kind of paperwork that can be easily traced. All this should have been handled from the get go by your lawyer its ridiculous.
New atty definitely.
I'd be way more concerned about diversion and accounting than the action of opening another account (though that in itself points to the above). He could very well have started having people pay by check in his name, rather than the business, so that he can cash the checks rather than have to deposit. I would also be concerned as to whether or not he is making quarterly tax payments which is something that could come back and bite YOU in the arse as you are an owner. I suspect he is diverting because generally speaking CC and Debit payments are far more common than checks now a days, unless you have always run your business via check for payment. You should know the answer to that.
I am guessing he has left the CC payments going to the old account because he is too ignorant, lazy or drunk to figure out how to change the account settings. Sounds like you were the one who handled all of that. Or, if you are both signators on the account you both have to sign to close the account I believe. It may be that he is just floating enough in that account to keep it from going upside down on banking fees since he can't close it himself? Again, you ran the business for long enough to know if the CC payments are normal. I don't necessarily believe his sister is floating him I would not be surprised he is doing just fine financially, and wants you to think there is nothing there. If he is cashing checks made out to him it will be difficult to follow that trail unless he has some kind of paperwork that can be easily traced. All this should have been handled from the get go by your lawyer its ridiculous.
New atty definitely.
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