bluelily

I agree with Redatlanta. It sounds like you have a very dangerous exotic pet in your house that is not to be trusted around your child. And that needs very expensive food. Really, what good is that for you? It´s just a source of major stress.

Also, be aware that your husband might be putting up a show of delusion. He probably knows the real reason why you put your daughter in daycare, he just doesn´t want you to know that he knows he´s the problem. Because that would mean he´d have to do something about it and he doesn´t want to.
I thought at some point my xabf was delusional too but it took me by surprise to realize he knew exactly what was going on. Your husband may be preparing himself for a possible change in circumstances, already looking for a new enabler - I suspect his mom will be his next victim. And when there is someone new - poof! - it will be as if you never existed, I´m sorry to say.
Please don´t let yourself be manipulated and try to make a new life for yourself and your daughter.