Update on King Baby...
 

Oh boy...I am now super ultra bad guy.
Our kids were sitting at the kitchen table, eating dinner with their cousins and the topic of "dads" came up. The other kids were talking about the "things dad do" like playing games and going to watch baseball and playing catch....our 8 year old son (high functioning autistic) says quite matter of factly "Not our dad"
Well....I have now "brainwashed" the children into talking poorly about him. Normally (pre realization that I was a codie) I would have chimed in with the kids and said something positive about him but because I let the comment hang there I am evil and trying to undermine his respect.
I smiled and did not engage......seems he recovered from this one though...maybe it is a sign of healing ;)

Did your husband SAY that y ou were the "bad guy".....was he at the table, also...?

As long as you KNOW, in your heart, that you are not a bad guy...that is all that matters.....

dandylion

He was in the living room watching TV...
Not participating in the conversation.

My XAH spends half his life quacking that I "brainwashed" our kids. Nope, kids learn by example, and he has show who he really is.

^ yes. This! So sad for these guys to perpetually play the victim and quack, quack and quack.

That his family and young relatives were eating dinner in the kitchen and he was watching television is telling. Just saying.

So there are more "brainwashers" than me? Why do they quack like this? Like our adult children haven't cut him off because THEY know who he really is....If anything, I have gone out of my way to try to give them memories through rose colored glasses every day of their lives.
I will never understand the motives. We have perfect children. They are so smart, kind, and well-rounded in spite of everything they have been through. Why does he treat THEM so poorly?

BC he is KING. And he is a BABY. (In his thinking,,, eg selfish, it's all about him). Others are only there to SERVE him and if something isn't to his liking he reacts as a BABY would (pouts, lashes out, cries in distress, blames others, etc)

^ yes, this. Bc the mentality of As is akin to a toddler. That should answer your "why".

Stacey, it must have made an impression on him, and I hope he eventually works out the right person to blame.