Your Rights

Old 05-19-2016, 03:40 PM
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Your Rights

My counsellor gave this to me tonight so thought I would share it, hope this is helpful

1. I have the right to express my feelings
2. I have the right to express my opinions and beliefs
3. I have the right to say "yes" and "no" for myself
4. I have the right to change my mind
5. I have the right to say I don't understand
6. I have the right to simply be myself, and not act for the benefits
Of others
7. I have the right to decline responsibility for other people's problems
8. I have the right to make reasonable requests of others
9. I have the right to set my own priorities
10. I have the right to be listened to and taken seriously
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Old 05-19-2016, 04:58 PM
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That's awesome--love it!

How are you making out with the new therapist? I guess she's not that "new" anymore, but she was kinda new last time you were posting about her, I think.
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Old 05-19-2016, 05:17 PM
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I absolutely love this! I am printing it for myself and my girls. Thank YOU!
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Old 05-21-2016, 04:04 AM
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It's going well Lexie I really like her and talk about anything with her. I've opened up about a lot of feelings and shame I feel. We are currently working on accepting myself and instead of saying I am all these bad things I associate with myself, anxious not good enough, controlling etc but I feel I am being or I feel anxious etc and taking a step back breathing etc just what you were saying in my last post.
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Old 05-21-2016, 05:05 AM
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Sending hugs butterfly, thanks for posting!!
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Old 05-21-2016, 05:25 AM
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That's awesome--and your therapist sounds GREAT. Yup, those feelings aren't facts. They aren't pleasant, but just because we feel a certain way doesn't make it so.

Keep on keepin' on!
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Old 05-22-2016, 03:15 AM
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I am starting to understand that when I feel anxious depressed whatever these are feelings and they don't define me. I use to believe I feel therefor I am!! I Think what I struggle with the most is accepting that my behaviours aren't who I am??

Today I am being obsessive, checking my ex on FB . I've done so well all week not checking where he is but this weekend has been difficult. so when I am being obsessive or manipulative or whatever else my behaviour is, is that not who I am??
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Old 05-22-2016, 05:23 AM
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Do you have to "define" yourself at all, other than as an imperfect human being, like all of us? We ALL sometimes engage in unhealthy behaviors and have unhealthy thoughts. Every person on the planet has character defects and does things not so good for them or for others.

You are aware of things you want to work on, and are actively working on them. That puts you ahead of a large segment of the population who close their eyes to them.

When you find yourself behaving in an obsessive or manipulative way, use some of the strategies your therapist has given you. People don't change overnight. Practice working on recognizing it and then doing something different. If you find yourself obsessively researching the ex, try researching something else, instead. Don't FEED it, IOW,

Hugs, you may not be progressing as fast as you'd like to, but you ARE progressing.
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Old 05-22-2016, 06:25 AM
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^^^^^^I concur on this. Don't feed the beast.

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Old 05-23-2016, 06:22 AM
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I am right there with you. My obsession is not my X, but my fear of him taking me to court to gain more time w/my children. For today, there is nothing I can do if that is his plan. So...when that anxiety creeps in, and it does, a lot, I am trying to do just what Lexie has said, replace that with something else. Get busy doing something else. Try to refocus my mind. It's hard, I completely get it.

Butterfly, it's really great you found a therapist you hit it off with, that is many times half the battle.

Many hugs!
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Old 05-27-2016, 01:54 PM
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Thanks Lexie and hopeful. Definitely hard work managing obsessive thinking and negative behaviours.
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