Praying

Hey Butterfly,

Earlier this week one of my friends told me she laughs every time she hears this song and thinks of me. I'm enjoying time by myself and with my friends, not wiling at the moment to get sucked back in to a relationship. I had to laugh when I heard it, because it's SO targeted at those guys we meet out at the bars that turn into a WOW relationship that later spells trouble...thought it might make you smile this weekend as you learn to put that swagger back in your step.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I

Lyrics:

I think it's so cute and I think it's so sweet
How you let your friends encourage you to try and talk to me
But let me stop you there (oh, before you speak...)
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no!
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the no, no, no!
First you gonna say you ain't runnin' game, thinkin' I'm believing every word
Call me beautiful, so original, telling me I'm not like other girls
I was in my zone before you came along, now I'm thinking maybe you should go
Blah, blah, blah
I be like nah to the ah, to the no, no, no!
All my ladies listen up
If that boy ain't giving up
Lick your lips and swing your hips
Girl all you gotta say is...
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no!
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no!
Thank you in advance, I don't wanna dance (nope!)
I don't need your hands all over me
If I want a man, then I'mma get a man
But it's never my priority
I was in my zone, before you came along
Don't want you to take this personal
Blah, blah, blah
I be like nah to the ah to the, no, no, no!
All my ladies listen up
If that boy ain't giving up
Lick your lips and swing your hips
Girl all you gotta say is...
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
My name is no
My sign is no
My number is no
You need to let it go
You need to let it go
Need to let it go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no




MetroLyrics

FeelingGreat

You know this is a very disrespectful way to treat you, right? You are limited to a night which doesn't suit you, but Saturday is reserved for him in case something better comes along. That's straight out rude. And it takes you away from Al-anon which would be support for you.

Have you considered the possibility that he's either married or has another woman? The only time I've come across this sort of rigid arrangement was when the BF was in a another relationship.

Butterfly

Thanks praying, I love that song.

Feelinggreat I had thought that at the start but no he's not, he would have talked most nights and sometimes we did see each other another night but usually only a Friday night. His FB didn't have any information about a gf or a wife and the comments his friends posted definitely showed he wasn't married. I know people can have fake FB pages but it was linked to his business.

I didn't tell him about my meetings on a Saturday I chose to prioritise him :

There was a lot of things that I felt he didn't respect me but I kept thinking I was overreacting or overthinking. One thing is that the relationship created more anxiety than peace and that's down to me and not trusting my judgement.

AnvilheadII

I think that's my problem I know my behaviours after, it's during I can't see them as I am so caught up in the anxiety and fear and will be full of doubts as to whether I'm over thinking or many other things I do or if I am right in how I feel about something.


actually, you have a built in Red Flag Alert system, Butterfly. it's called FEAR AND ANXIETY! when you are feeling Fear and/or Anxiety, that is your cue to STOP. CEASE. DESIST. and it's been with you, part of you all along!!!

so when you next begin to feel fearful or anxious.....STOP what you are doing, find a quiet place, take three deep slow breaths, and say a positive affirmation such as With every breath, I release the anxiety within me and I become more and more calm. then also THANK your inner alarm system for alerting you to possible danger.

Butterfly

Thank you anvil. Here's my problem though with that is that I never know if it's an alert system or me just being anxious and overthinking. Or maybe my anxiety increases because I know there are red flags but I am so fearful of being rejected that I try even harder. I don't know my head is all over the place at the minute I can't make sense of things.

AnvilheadII

rigth so either way, when you FEEL like that, STOP.

just stop. call a time out. do your deep breathing and calming exercises. honey, unless you are in the middle of performing open heart surgery, you can take some big steps back and get yourself centered again. and if you find yourself in endless circular thinking, replace that thinking with something else.....physically change your environment.....get up, go to another room, go outside, pull the car over, go the ladies room. and turn that worry/fear/anxiety over to your HP - say Here ya Go, Power Greater, I'm gonna let you stew over this one for a while, cuz i'm tired.

Butterfly

Thank you anvil

imsober4me

Learning slowly but I read something today that kind of fits here. "If you keep putting others first, how unreasonable is it for them to assume you prefer being at the back of the line?"