Moving On Slowly
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Moving On Slowly
Hi,
Haven't posted in a few weeks.
I have settled into my new house. It's not what I'm used to, but it's my little piece of heaven.
For now my STBXAH is living in our home.
I have a domestic violence protection order in place for the next year. I'm actually very happy the judge kept it.
The divorce is going much slower than I would like. I filed in January, and we haven't had our first court date. My lawyer feels it will be soon, and the court will want us to do mediation for the division of property.
I'm worried because it's going so slowly. My ah and I own a motorhome. I made arrangements with the bank to pay the interest, till we could sell it. I have paid the payment for the last several months, and with my new place can't afford it. My ah is aware the interest needed to be paid. He didn't pay it, so it was reposed last Sunday. I called the police, so I could get my stuff out, and they stated that my ah really didn't want me on my property m, because of the protective order. Then the police told me to contact the sheriff to set up a time to get into it. Needless to say it was taken before I could take anything out.
I found out that my ah cleaned it out, took all my stuff!!! My quilts, I made,my mother's silverware, and things I had before we were married!! He left my clothes. I guess that must have been the reason why he didn't want me to come to get my stuff.
I am extremely worried about my interest in our home. I still have many things there that belong to me. Will he destroy them!
Does anyone know how this works.??
I feel mentally, I'm slowly moving on, but how can you fully till you have closure, which is the divorce.
I'm still numb!! This was the man I trusted my life with! Less than 6 months ago, he professed his love for me and that he'd give his life for me.
I am thinking about him less and less these days. Yes, there are times because I receive legal paperwork I have to think about him, but that different.
Funny, I don't hate him. I have forgiven him for what he did to me. Right now, my feelings for him our ones of sorrow. My ah is, because of the choices he has made will never find happiness or peace.
I think I'm finally realizing what I've been told here. I did truely get the better end of the deal! I'm getting the most important thing back, that's me. I don't need anyone to love me but me. I am surrounded by my wonderful family and a few good friends.
I still have a long way to go. I will always carry with me my memories of our 12 yrs together, but I am now able to separate them from the new life I'm starting to live. It's a good feeling.
Thank you all for listening. If anyone has any advice on how long this divorce might take.?
Haven't posted in a few weeks.
I have settled into my new house. It's not what I'm used to, but it's my little piece of heaven.
For now my STBXAH is living in our home.
I have a domestic violence protection order in place for the next year. I'm actually very happy the judge kept it.
The divorce is going much slower than I would like. I filed in January, and we haven't had our first court date. My lawyer feels it will be soon, and the court will want us to do mediation for the division of property.
I'm worried because it's going so slowly. My ah and I own a motorhome. I made arrangements with the bank to pay the interest, till we could sell it. I have paid the payment for the last several months, and with my new place can't afford it. My ah is aware the interest needed to be paid. He didn't pay it, so it was reposed last Sunday. I called the police, so I could get my stuff out, and they stated that my ah really didn't want me on my property m, because of the protective order. Then the police told me to contact the sheriff to set up a time to get into it. Needless to say it was taken before I could take anything out.
I found out that my ah cleaned it out, took all my stuff!!! My quilts, I made,my mother's silverware, and things I had before we were married!! He left my clothes. I guess that must have been the reason why he didn't want me to come to get my stuff.
I am extremely worried about my interest in our home. I still have many things there that belong to me. Will he destroy them!
Does anyone know how this works.??
I feel mentally, I'm slowly moving on, but how can you fully till you have closure, which is the divorce.
I'm still numb!! This was the man I trusted my life with! Less than 6 months ago, he professed his love for me and that he'd give his life for me.
I am thinking about him less and less these days. Yes, there are times because I receive legal paperwork I have to think about him, but that different.
Funny, I don't hate him. I have forgiven him for what he did to me. Right now, my feelings for him our ones of sorrow. My ah is, because of the choices he has made will never find happiness or peace.
I think I'm finally realizing what I've been told here. I did truely get the better end of the deal! I'm getting the most important thing back, that's me. I don't need anyone to love me but me. I am surrounded by my wonderful family and a few good friends.
I still have a long way to go. I will always carry with me my memories of our 12 yrs together, but I am now able to separate them from the new life I'm starting to live. It's a good feeling.
Thank you all for listening. If anyone has any advice on how long this divorce might take.?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Z-just sending you hugs. Yes, you truly did get the best part of the deal-YOU. You are not him and don't have to live being him-I can't imagine how sad that reality is. But it's not you or your new life. Kudos, friend. Keep walking ahead!
Btw-closure comes internally....it may or may not be when the divorce is finalized. I found for me, it's taken a lot longer to have closure-and that's ok
it will be on your own timetable when your heart is ready to accept it.
Btw-closure comes internally....it may or may not be when the divorce is finalized. I found for me, it's taken a lot longer to have closure-and that's ok
it will be on your own timetable when your heart is ready to accept it.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Z, do you have a lawyer representing you in your divorce? If so, what does s/he advise about your stuff in the house?
If you don't have a lawyer, go down to the family court and tell them you need paperwork to file a motion. The motion should be one that orders him not to dispose of any of your personal property, and that permits you to arrange to retrieve your belongings. Make a list of everything that's missing (along with the approximate value of each item) and attach it to your motion. The court can enter an order prohibiting him from disposing of anything else, hold him in contempt if he violates it, and can factor in the losses when it orders the property division.
I'm glad you're at least finding your new home peaceful.
If you don't have a lawyer, go down to the family court and tell them you need paperwork to file a motion. The motion should be one that orders him not to dispose of any of your personal property, and that permits you to arrange to retrieve your belongings. Make a list of everything that's missing (along with the approximate value of each item) and attach it to your motion. The court can enter an order prohibiting him from disposing of anything else, hold him in contempt if he violates it, and can factor in the losses when it orders the property division.
I'm glad you're at least finding your new home peaceful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
I have a lawyer. He sent a request to my ah lawyer, that he produce a list of everything he removed from the motorhome. As for our home, when I moved I took most of the stuff that bea's important to me. There still remains so much stuff I couldn't afford to pay to have moved. I just haven't been in the house for almost 3 months.
i just don't understand how he can pick and choose what bills he pays. He didn't pay the motorhome payment, so it was reposed. I used my mom inheritance for the last 8 months to make the payments. If j had that money now, life would be a little easier. It I had know this was going to be the outcome, it wouldn't have mattered if I paid. It just would have happened sooner.
This is the kind of things that make me angry. Shows such a lack of respect of me and the life we had, shows an attitude of just not caring about anything!
I know he's paying for his truck, my name is also on the loan, and the mortgage for our home. But, that could change a any moment.
Am I within my rights to ask my lawyer, that I want to know if he intends to buy me out if the house, or us it going to be out up for sale? Right now is the time to sell a house
Any advice would be helpful!
Thank you all!!
Have a Happy Mother's Day !💐
Z
I have a lawyer. He sent a request to my ah lawyer, that he produce a list of everything he removed from the motorhome. As for our home, when I moved I took most of the stuff that bea's important to me. There still remains so much stuff I couldn't afford to pay to have moved. I just haven't been in the house for almost 3 months.
i just don't understand how he can pick and choose what bills he pays. He didn't pay the motorhome payment, so it was reposed. I used my mom inheritance for the last 8 months to make the payments. If j had that money now, life would be a little easier. It I had know this was going to be the outcome, it wouldn't have mattered if I paid. It just would have happened sooner.
This is the kind of things that make me angry. Shows such a lack of respect of me and the life we had, shows an attitude of just not caring about anything!
I know he's paying for his truck, my name is also on the loan, and the mortgage for our home. But, that could change a any moment.
Am I within my rights to ask my lawyer, that I want to know if he intends to buy me out if the house, or us it going to be out up for sale? Right now is the time to sell a house
Any advice would be helpful!
Thank you all!!
Have a Happy Mother's Day !💐
Z
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Zircon.....there is a website "WomansDivorce.com".....that you might want to check out. It does NOT substitute for your own lawyer....but it is very educational in nature and seems to cover all areas of divorce experience.
It is organized according to states....
I think it is despicable what he did with your precious posessions!! That sounds like a very personal violation, to me.....
I would not trust him as far as you could throw him...as far as him doing the right thing.......
I suggest that you cling closely to any legal advice that you can get....and, watch out for your own welfare every step of the way........
I am glad that you are bonding with your new place....that sounds positive....
dandylion
It is organized according to states....
I think it is despicable what he did with your precious posessions!! That sounds like a very personal violation, to me.....
I would not trust him as far as you could throw him...as far as him doing the right thing.......
I suggest that you cling closely to any legal advice that you can get....and, watch out for your own welfare every step of the way........
I am glad that you are bonding with your new place....that sounds positive....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Zircon, I hope you get your things back. I know they are only "things", but things that we made ourselves or things that have been passed down to us have a significance beyond their simple physical presence/appearance, at least in my opinion.
Hoping you get some resolution to this soon.
Hoping you get some resolution to this soon.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
You are "within your rights" to ask your lawyer ANYTHING. You are the one paying him. If he's not explaining things to you, in response to your questions (don't expect him to read your mind about what you don't understand), fire him and get a new one. Lawyers can't advise you what to do as far as your feelings go, but any questions about what is (or isn't) possible for you to do legally, he should be prepared to answer and explain. With some things the law may not be on your side. Or the lawyer might have a strategic reason for approaching things in a certain way. ASK. You should understand WHY certain things can/cannot be done.
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