Hi All...It's Me...Update.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 73
Hi All...It's Me...Update.
Hi All,
It's been awhile, just thought I would stop in, read some posts for encouragement and update the situation.
So AXH came home from the rehab that Dr. Phil sent him too after 75 days. I held my ground, refused to pick him up from airport, and refused to let him come back to my house.
After several weeks we did meet for dinner a few times, and talk on the phone pretty regularly. He reached out to make amends to my daughter and my mother. (Mom isn't interested just yet, says it's too soon.) Daughter is a soft touch like me and accepted and wished him well after expressing all of the torture that he put us all through. He also reached out to my son...who is beyond over him!!!
He continues to tout the praises of Origins recovery, however, I still really believe that a person has to be at the right place at the right time for rehab to work. But for whatever reason he bought into their theories and the science behind their work and it appears to have been succesful for him up to this point.
Soooo now back to reality, he still has the two pending DUI cases to deal with, and because of his high BAC he's looking at license suspension and possibly some jail time. Well he blew all the money that was saved while he was in rehab, and now he's been denied a public defender and can't afford a lawyer, even on a sliding fee scale.
Welp, the wolf reared it's ugly head again yesterday under the pressure. Although he didn't ask, he assumed I would offer to pay for the lawyer....ummm No! You're DUI your problem. And wham...I got called out of my name and threatened just like old times. Pulled out the suicide card, and the I'm just going to drink cause I don't have anything else. LMAO, it's not funny but it is, I said "Thank you, you just reminded me of who you really are, I was beginning to forget."
Such a sad, pathetic person, you've manipulated your way through your adult life, and you've fried your brain with substance abuse, I don't know that you can ever be the person that you want to be.
All the years of me taking care of everything didn't help, it only made it 10 x worse since he didn't have to be responsible, well here's some responsibility for you smack in the middle of your eyes. I'm just going to sit over here in the back row and watch to see how this all plays out.
It's been awhile, just thought I would stop in, read some posts for encouragement and update the situation.
So AXH came home from the rehab that Dr. Phil sent him too after 75 days. I held my ground, refused to pick him up from airport, and refused to let him come back to my house.
After several weeks we did meet for dinner a few times, and talk on the phone pretty regularly. He reached out to make amends to my daughter and my mother. (Mom isn't interested just yet, says it's too soon.) Daughter is a soft touch like me and accepted and wished him well after expressing all of the torture that he put us all through. He also reached out to my son...who is beyond over him!!!
He continues to tout the praises of Origins recovery, however, I still really believe that a person has to be at the right place at the right time for rehab to work. But for whatever reason he bought into their theories and the science behind their work and it appears to have been succesful for him up to this point.
Soooo now back to reality, he still has the two pending DUI cases to deal with, and because of his high BAC he's looking at license suspension and possibly some jail time. Well he blew all the money that was saved while he was in rehab, and now he's been denied a public defender and can't afford a lawyer, even on a sliding fee scale.
Welp, the wolf reared it's ugly head again yesterday under the pressure. Although he didn't ask, he assumed I would offer to pay for the lawyer....ummm No! You're DUI your problem. And wham...I got called out of my name and threatened just like old times. Pulled out the suicide card, and the I'm just going to drink cause I don't have anything else. LMAO, it's not funny but it is, I said "Thank you, you just reminded me of who you really are, I was beginning to forget."
Such a sad, pathetic person, you've manipulated your way through your adult life, and you've fried your brain with substance abuse, I don't know that you can ever be the person that you want to be.
All the years of me taking care of everything didn't help, it only made it 10 x worse since he didn't have to be responsible, well here's some responsibility for you smack in the middle of your eyes. I'm just going to sit over here in the back row and watch to see how this all plays out.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
so good to see you! ya had me worried there for a moment in your post.....as i saw you inching closer to the edge of the precipice, but you stayed out of harms way! good for you!
the absolute best way to discern the true intent of the addict, in recovery or otherwise, is to say NO........then stand back, way back in case this happens
the absolute best way to discern the true intent of the addict, in recovery or otherwise, is to say NO........then stand back, way back in case this happens
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Yep...good for you, Job! I too have an ex that is pathetic and has manipulated people and events for his gain-and then drops you like a bad habit of you don't but into his victim stories or enable him. YOU did the right thing....you told him
No and asked him to handle his own actions/consequences....and he showed you exactly who he was-a crying little five year old toddler.
So happy you are moving on with your life from this guy.
No and asked him to handle his own actions/consequences....and he showed you exactly who he was-a crying little five year old toddler.
So happy you are moving on with your life from this guy.
Keep up the good work!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 73
Yep learning that it's ok to say "no" has been empowering for me. I still want to "fix it" cause that's who I am, I guess like an alcoholic that is my addiction, but like the saying goes madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Got threatened last night, told I was a liar and a *****. My response, no response! Not throwing gas onto that fire, just wished him a good evening then turned off my phone, turned on the house alarm and went to sleep.
Got threatened last night, told I was a liar and a *****. My response, no response! Not throwing gas onto that fire, just wished him a good evening then turned off my phone, turned on the house alarm and went to sleep.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
J-btdt. Stay safe, my friend. When they realize you don't but their BS, you truly become enemy number one-threatening is just part of their game. Get good sleep, keep your alarm set and pray someday he wakes up.
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