Recovering gf and personal loss
Recovering gf and personal loss
My girlfriend's pet died. She is very shaky. She is around 70 days sober. This was an unexpected loss. Please give me advice. She left and said she had to just keep moving so she left. She took the pet's food and bowls. I am obviously worried. She and this pet were inseperable. Do I just pray and leave her alone?
I second what Dandy said. There is always going to be things that trigger a person, this is how you will know how she is going to handle triggers.
Maybe a nice thoughtful card and just letting her know you care, or whatever you might do for a person who has a loss. I know pets become family members, so I am sure it's a struggle.
Breathe.....
Maybe a nice thoughtful card and just letting her know you care, or whatever you might do for a person who has a loss. I know pets become family members, so I am sure it's a struggle.
Breathe.....
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
DId she mention drinking? I understand that if she plans to relapse you have no control over that, but right now she's someone in a ton of pain.
I would probably at least contact her and find out if she's okay?
I would probably at least contact her and find out if she's okay?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 66
Agreed treat her with extra love and kindness... Losing a pet is horrible. If she is seven months sober she probably wanted to take a walk and clear her head. When I have lost pets in the past I just want to be left alone to have a huge cry. But when I'm done I always appreciate a hug and a nice card, dinner or flowers or something. And especially to talk about happy times with my pet. Funny stories are great too. Maybe frame a nice picture of her and the pet.
Isn't this the woman who's been making your life a living hell?
My thought is to focus on your own sobriety. Call your sponsor. She has people in the program she can call.
Loss of a pet is a very sad thing, but she needs to learn to navigate sad events sober. YOU have sounded lately like your sobriety could use a little shoring up. My bet is that she will drag you down before you can lift her up.
Take care of yourself, first and foremost.
My thought is to focus on your own sobriety. Call your sponsor. She has people in the program she can call.
Loss of a pet is a very sad thing, but she needs to learn to navigate sad events sober. YOU have sounded lately like your sobriety could use a little shoring up. My bet is that she will drag you down before you can lift her up.
Take care of yourself, first and foremost.
My girlfriend's pet died. She is very shaky. She is around 70 days sober. This was an unexpected loss. Please give me advice. She left and said she had to just keep moving so she left. She took the pet's food and bowls. I am obviously worried. She and this pet were inseperable. Do I just pray and leave her alone?
you went No Contact with Ach?
If so, please do not get involved.
She is really harmful to you and your sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,975
So sorry to hear this Ach.
I second what the others said: double down on your self care and get yourself to an alanon meeting (if alanon is your thing).
If she comes back sober, give her a big hug and a cup of tea.
I second what the others said: double down on your self care and get yourself to an alanon meeting (if alanon is your thing).
If she comes back sober, give her a big hug and a cup of tea.
Losing a pet is horrible. We lost all 3 last year to illness/old age.
But death is unfortunately not stoppable in sobriety. She is going to have to get used to life sucking sometimes because this is not the last time she will face something painful. If she is looking for a reason to pick up it could be because she broke a nail.
If this is the person who abused you stay far away.
But death is unfortunately not stoppable in sobriety. She is going to have to get used to life sucking sometimes because this is not the last time she will face something painful. If she is looking for a reason to pick up it could be because she broke a nail.
If this is the person who abused you stay far away.
Oh wow, I may have misunderstood. If this person is someone you should be staying away from, then I would continue to stay away. Just like they have triggers, we do too. Don't let this be a trigger to running to someone who is toxic to you.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)