Food for thought-from the Word
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Food for thought-from the Word
I recently started a Beth Moore bible study and so much of what we talked about resonated with me-as me as I was and with my ex. Here are the main points we discussed:
- what you believe is lived out in the way you act. Not what you say, but how you act.
- if we are in bondage , we are in unbelief.
- when I talk and my actions don't follow, I have a crisis somewhere.
- we love out our faith through our actions.
- joy is our birthright in Christ, nobody has the right to take it from us.
The third one really resonated with me. I can't tel you how many times I threatened to leave bc of his behavior and abuse, but my action was to stay. I most definitely had a crisis in me-my actions did not follow my words just as much as his did not and do not.
The first one did too. I can't recall how many times I screamed that I would not be treated like this anymore-I deserved better-our kids deserved so much better-But my action was to stay....so my feet showed I truly did not believe that. But, I built my self esteem back up and found that when I did deserve so much more than what he was dishing out-and my belief about myself and my kids was finally lived out in my actions.
Just more of the actions vs words and the cognitive dissonance that arises due to our own crisis of staying and not acting on what we know and say to be true, and seeing this clearly in our A's. My faith tells me any addiction is a battle or loss of faith-I look back on before my hard drive was rebooted by Christ and dayum did my actions not follow my words-my crisis was fear.
I'm glad today, and proud of myself (and all others here) that have overcome that fear and proudly walk ahead with actions following their words.
Anyway, thought it was interesting how it related so much to us and our A's.
Peace to y'all!
- what you believe is lived out in the way you act. Not what you say, but how you act.
- if we are in bondage , we are in unbelief.
- when I talk and my actions don't follow, I have a crisis somewhere.
- we love out our faith through our actions.
- joy is our birthright in Christ, nobody has the right to take it from us.
The third one really resonated with me. I can't tel you how many times I threatened to leave bc of his behavior and abuse, but my action was to stay. I most definitely had a crisis in me-my actions did not follow my words just as much as his did not and do not.
The first one did too. I can't recall how many times I screamed that I would not be treated like this anymore-I deserved better-our kids deserved so much better-But my action was to stay....so my feet showed I truly did not believe that. But, I built my self esteem back up and found that when I did deserve so much more than what he was dishing out-and my belief about myself and my kids was finally lived out in my actions.
Just more of the actions vs words and the cognitive dissonance that arises due to our own crisis of staying and not acting on what we know and say to be true, and seeing this clearly in our A's. My faith tells me any addiction is a battle or loss of faith-I look back on before my hard drive was rebooted by Christ and dayum did my actions not follow my words-my crisis was fear.
I'm glad today, and proud of myself (and all others here) that have overcome that fear and proudly walk ahead with actions following their words.
Anyway, thought it was interesting how it related so much to us and our A's.
Peace to y'all!
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
the 3rd one is HUGE for me too-- i spent a lot of time telling xAH (before i left) that his actions and words needed to match and that i would believe he was working on recovery when i saw that...
i thought i was all put together and had the whole codie thing solved by telling him that...
little did i notice or realize that my OWN words and actions rarely matched... i would often say "im not going to tolerate this anymore" and then give him 100 more chances, or i would say "if this happens once more, THEN i will be done" but of course i never was...
i have found that it is MUCH more helpful to me, in my own progress toward recovering (a progress that will be life long no doubt) for me to focus on my actions and words matching rather than hoping that someone else's will and expecting that their choice to do that will somehow match up with my happiness...
your post (as always) FOG, really resonates with me!
i thought i was all put together and had the whole codie thing solved by telling him that...
little did i notice or realize that my OWN words and actions rarely matched... i would often say "im not going to tolerate this anymore" and then give him 100 more chances, or i would say "if this happens once more, THEN i will be done" but of course i never was...
i have found that it is MUCH more helpful to me, in my own progress toward recovering (a progress that will be life long no doubt) for me to focus on my actions and words matching rather than hoping that someone else's will and expecting that their choice to do that will somehow match up with my happiness...
your post (as always) FOG, really resonates with me!
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