Another Member of the Tuesday Club Apparently.....
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Another Member of the Tuesday Club Apparently.....
So...here is a good one for you.
XAH sends a text to my child who is in high school at 10:30 am yesterday with some information about a family member, not really a big deal. She did not answer, she was at school. At some point in the day, DD gets a break at school and gets on Facebook to congratulate the family member. It took about 5 seconds. She also has a job immediately after school, and she absolutely cannot have her phone out during the job unless she is on a short break or it's an emergency. She had not answered her father at all at this point.
He sends her all sorts of BS about how she does not respect him (gee, wonder why) and how she should not try to make excuses, she clearly does not want to talk to him, blah, blah, blah. She gets home and is mad, but not entirely surprised either.
W/in 10 mins, I had texts about how this is my fault, more blah, blah,blah. I simply said that I would not participate and to have a nice evening. It's quite clear he was drunk. Just more crap for me to have to document today. I hope he chokes on his own hangover vomit. Ugh. (I know that's not nice, but my nice towards him is about over for a little while).
XAH sends a text to my child who is in high school at 10:30 am yesterday with some information about a family member, not really a big deal. She did not answer, she was at school. At some point in the day, DD gets a break at school and gets on Facebook to congratulate the family member. It took about 5 seconds. She also has a job immediately after school, and she absolutely cannot have her phone out during the job unless she is on a short break or it's an emergency. She had not answered her father at all at this point.
He sends her all sorts of BS about how she does not respect him (gee, wonder why) and how she should not try to make excuses, she clearly does not want to talk to him, blah, blah, blah. She gets home and is mad, but not entirely surprised either.
W/in 10 mins, I had texts about how this is my fault, more blah, blah,blah. I simply said that I would not participate and to have a nice evening. It's quite clear he was drunk. Just more crap for me to have to document today. I hope he chokes on his own hangover vomit. Ugh. (I know that's not nice, but my nice towards him is about over for a little while).
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What a joy ! Sounds just like my ex. Hopeful-I'm not happy being a member of the Tuesday night drunk club but I'm glad to be members with you 
Glad you went on with your life and so happy your daughter sees that her dad is a drunk loser and acts accordingly. Good for you for in stilling boundaries and self respect!
Glad you went on with your life and so happy your daughter sees that her dad is a drunk loser and acts accordingly. Good for you for in stilling boundaries and self respect!
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Location: Florida
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Oh, hopeful, sigh. Those 2 are just broiling in their dysfunction these days, he & the wife, aren't they?
Your daughter handled this all beautifully; good for her for being the bigger person in all of it!!
Your daughter handled this all beautifully; good for her for being the bigger person in all of it!!
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FOG....I am so glad we have each other, and all the many others here at wonderful SR! This board has given me support when I desperately needed it. I would NEVER have been able to react the way I did last night had it not been for all the support I receive. It gives me lots of hope.
Bekind.....it depends on how wasted he gets if he remembers or not. When we were married it was quite common for him not to. Even if he does, and even if he knows he was wrong, there will be no apology to either me or my DD b/c that is how he rolls. A true narcissist.
I agree FS, glad that my DD's did not let this get under their skin. They have made progress by leaps and bounds!
Bekind.....it depends on how wasted he gets if he remembers or not. When we were married it was quite common for him not to. Even if he does, and even if he knows he was wrong, there will be no apology to either me or my DD b/c that is how he rolls. A true narcissist.
I agree FS, glad that my DD's did not let this get under their skin. They have made progress by leaps and bounds!
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I am so sorry Hopeful 
And I am hung up a bit on the fact that she is a high school age kid and you are STILL having to document-- is that for fear of his taking you to court?!
Hopefully it is documenting for the sake of getting him to stop harassing you...
I am so so sorry...
And I am hung up a bit on the fact that she is a high school age kid and you are STILL having to document-- is that for fear of his taking you to court?!
Hopefully it is documenting for the sake of getting him to stop harassing you...
I am so so sorry...
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I am documenting b/c she is my older child. One day I may have to go to court for my younger child and I will need to show a pattern of his behavior.
Truly, we expect it from him. He is what he is, and I will have to deal with him for another 6 years at least as far as documenting and coparenting (if that is what you want to call it).
He will just want to carry on and pretend it never happened, that is how he rolls. He's just precious.......
Truly, we expect it from him. He is what he is, and I will have to deal with him for another 6 years at least as far as documenting and coparenting (if that is what you want to call it).
He will just want to carry on and pretend it never happened, that is how he rolls. He's just precious.......
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Originally Posted by hopeful4 
I am documenting b/c she is my older child. One day I may have to go to court for my younger child and I will need to show a pattern of his behavior.
Truly, we expect it from him. He is what he is, and I will have to deal with him for another 6 years at least as far as documenting and coparenting (if that is what you want to call it).
He will just want to carry on and pretend it never happened, that is how he rolls. He's just precious.......
Truly, we expect it from him. He is what he is, and I will have to deal with him for another 6 years at least as far as documenting and coparenting (if that is what you want to call it).
He will just want to carry on and pretend it never happened, that is how he rolls. He's just precious.......
I feel your pain!
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Join Date: Apr 2016
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Originally Posted by Kata
What is it with loosers and Tuesday nights?!
I could set my watch to it! At least, now I know!
I could set my watch to it! At least, now I know!
No offence intended, I asked my mother the same question and she said "yes, but I thought I could change him"
She still gets the checks every month. And still criticizes him. But she knew what she was getting.
Maybe it was just cash and prizes she was after.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
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Originally Posted by Siddhartha
Just curious, was he a "looser" when you met him and married him? did he already drink on Tuesday nights? No offence intended, I asked my mother the same question and she said "yes, but I thought I could change him" She still gets the checks every month. And still criticizes him. But she knew what she was getting. Maybe it was just cash and prizes she was after.
As I make more money then he does, or did when he had a job, it sure wasn't about cash and prizes.
And in my case, I didn't marry him or lived with him.
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Originally Posted by Kata
He was hiding it well. And I was naive. I aslo had never been around alcoholics.
As I make more money then he does, or did when he had a job, it sure wasn't about cash and prizes.
And in my case, I didn't marry him or lived with him.
As I make more money then he does, or did when he had a job, it sure wasn't about cash and prizes.
And in my case, I didn't marry him or lived with him.
Sigh...
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@sidd, I too was naive. I drank like a fish too...so it was normal to me back then. But even when I drank his drinking was off the charts and his entitlement and demons would show through-slowly at first-but over the years they got worse. To the point that the abuse was awful and the only option was to save myself and our kids. Re money, um no, I was never after his money-he made good money. That never motivated me. I wanted a happy marriage, money was not the goal. I was naive bc my exs fatger was an abusive alcoholic and my ex swore up and down he would never turn out like him...but he did just that. I trusted his lies-all of them. Hindsight.
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Originally Posted by Forourgirls
@sidd, I too was naive. I drank like a fish too...so it was normal to me back then. But even when I drank his drinking was off the charts and his entitlement and demons would show through-slowly at first-but over the years they got worse. To the point that the abuse was awful and the only option was to save myself and our kids. Re money, um no, I was never after his money-he made good money. That never motivated me. I wanted a happy marriage, money was not the goal. I was naive bc my exs fatger was an abusive alcoholic and my ex swore up and down he would never turn out like him...but he did just that. I trusted his lies-all of them. Hindsight.
I think fear, codie tendencies, abandonment fears, doubt of being able to manage alone-- any and all of the above in addition to love at one point, naivete, and an unhealthy plan to stick it out no matter what, are, for me at least, the contributing factors to why I stayed...
I truly find it impossible to believe that anyone would stay with an alcoholic in a bad situation just for $...
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Ok-to get back to the original thread, I have come up with a name....TNT....Tuesday night tantrums.
Moderators, can you please remove Sidds comments as they are not even remotely close to bring on topic or re this posters needs or threads.
Moderators, can you please remove Sidds comments as they are not even remotely close to bring on topic or re this posters needs or threads.
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