Kittycat

Hi everyone..........
I am just so angry and frustrated right now I could cry. scream ...whatever. My A is sober for almost two years...........as a few of you know I kicked him out with all the ammunition I needed to do it. He was a wreck...and I had filed for divorce. I took him back..Oh he was sooooo sheepish,complient and sweet. Could not have been better. We are both on marrigae # 2 and our kids ( his and mine) have always been a huge issue between us. This year I lost my Mother...my oldest son can't seem to get it together with a job or money and my second son seems to want to live here with us( a huge point of contention with the husband)....my son( he is 32) today told me how sad he was to loose his grandmother and his father died last year( another A) and we did not even know he was ill as he has not contacted my kids in 11 years. Our side of the family is minute. Tonight I went to my husband as I have really been down lately and tried to find some comfort from todays discussion with my son..it had me in tears.
WHAt the @#$%^&* what did I get...but a well you kicked me out you had no sympathy for ME ME ME!!! Does this ever STOP with them...i feel it is always about him...his meetings his soul searching! I am sooooooooooooo sick of AA...and the ME thing....HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!
Love Kitty

redrose0729

Hey Kitty I know how you feel. You are in the right place. The fact that your H is in AA is a good thing, and I know how frustrating it is not to be able to turn to him for comfort when you need it. I have learned to focus on me through everything and do the things I need to do to make me happy and not depend on my A for it. I know it sounds hard but the less I expect the less I get let down. When my A does reach out to me for comfort its an extra bonus for me. I have learned to reach out to the ones I know I can count on like my friends here on this site it has helped me tremendously. I have learned so much but I have alot more to learn. I am looking into going to Alanon also I have heard alot of good things about it. You already made a big step when you kicked him out and let him know you could not accept his drinking that was something you did for you .....Now is there something else you can do for you. Sometimes I get so wraped up in things I loose myself and then God gives me a good kick in the pants (mainly he leans on my heart) to jumpstart me thinking about me in the end atleast I have my self respect and lots of times I get the respect of my A. Hope some of this helps. God Bless and keep you .
Rose

CrazyRed

KC-
Many thoughts and prayers to you tonight.
The Universe is looking out for you at this very moment- 'Everything happens in perfect order for a divine reason'.

Kittycat

Rose Thanks.............I wish I could just lean on him ONCE..emotionally. It is never that way. Lately since he has discovered himself ...he keeps bringing up the fact that maybe we should be apart, since we have so many ISSUES and that we could find an alternative lifestyle? Now what do you think that means...is he really going to AA? I am wondering...all this soul searching! mmmmmm
Love Kitty

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Kitty.

@#$^#$*&%!!! To heck with what his agenda is. What do YOU YOU YOU want? Hmmmm?

Hugs,
Smoke