Liveitwell

A friend of mine went through a nasty divorce recently bc her husband was a serial cheater (she found out later just how much). During their marriage when she had suspicions she brought then up and he would verbally abuse her and then when she reacted he would call her crazy. One night she found evidence of the affair and she confronted him-he looked at her lying and basically told her she was nuts and that there was something wrong with her. She snapped and threw a huge bottle of water at him. He left the house screaming that she was abusing him-and to this day has continued the smear campaign against her without one iota of truth about HIS actions. Just making her the abuser bc of her reactions.
Her story and life resonated with me. My ex has fabricated many a tale about me-some funny, some not so funny. I reacted physically two times bc I just.couldnt.take.it.any.more. I snapped. After seeing evidence of lies and being called crazy, and other names for years and years, I snapped. And when I put my hand on his neck when I was almost 8 months pregnant the morning after he had drubkenly raped me and still in a drunken violent stupor the next morning, I came to him in the bathroom telling him I was leaving with the kids, he drubkenly grinned at me and with evil eyes told me. "You don't have the balks to divorce me, bitch". I was stand there pregnant with his child as he's saying this to me. Feeling so violated beyond belief. I snapped. Abd what did he do? Ran to mommys house and got her on the bandwagon of "my wife is crazy and needs help bc of what she did to poor little me". Yep. Talk about twisting and abusive!

Anyway, quite a few of us read the following article that she attached that her therapist had given her and shook our heads and had many ah hah moments. Is my ex, word for word. I'm sure some of y'all will understand this as well and know just how frightening it can be. But....you must not allow a crazy person to invalidate your truth. Period!!!

Thursday Thought ? The Deception of Twisting Things into Their Opposites | A Cry For Justice

I can't say enough about the crying out for justice site-if you've been abused, please check it out. You will find your truth there and others that have walked the same path. Hope this helps someone tonight !

Peace to y'all!!

amy55

Hi,

Spousal rape is very real, I am so sorry this happened to you. The way they twist things around is beyond belief.

My ex twisted the time he gave me a black eye, and I still have a bump on my forehead from him hitting me, was that I intentionally threw myself down a flight of steps so that I could have him arrested.

(((((hugs))))) you're safe now.
amy

Liveitwell

Yes-safe now. It was always my reaction to his abuse that was the problem. My reaction, not his abuse, his lies, his gaslighting, his disgusting actions, his verbal abuse, etc. The problem in his mind was how I reacted. Thanking God especially today to not be in that anymore-never again.

red3215

There are excellent sources out there describing the many abuse techniques manipulators use.
"Crazy making" is when someone purposefully upsets another, then acts like they didn't do anything and the other person is just being dramatic or over emotional.
Living with someone like this can be the worst hell and make you doubt your own judgment after a while.

healthyagain

^Yep, my ex 100%. But you know what? Even if you start thinking that he is doing things on purpose, you just cannot believe that he is capable of doing it. Looking back now from a safe distance, my ex was a liar and mentally and emotionally abusive, and I enjoy every second living without him.

Liveitwell

^ yep-I agree with you...every word.