The craziness and anxiety are just too much
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
hopeful, I'm sorry you're subject to this abuse because it's not helping anyone, and you're doing the right thing anyway.
Responding to their bullying is just feeding the loop. Delete their messages as soon as they arrive, and go on working on what you know to be the right thing.
As for the lies; people don't always believe everything they're told. Act with dignity and go your own way knowing that over time the truth becomes self-evident (even to the new wife). When that happens you'll gain respect for not getting involved.
Responding to their bullying is just feeding the loop. Delete their messages as soon as they arrive, and go on working on what you know to be the right thing.
As for the lies; people don't always believe everything they're told. Act with dignity and go your own way knowing that over time the truth becomes self-evident (even to the new wife). When that happens you'll gain respect for not getting involved.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I was always so worried and anxious about everything. Then one day, I just said no more. I seriously strongly dislike ex's.
I would just tell him, well, I am taking care of it. It will be done in a few weeks, if you have a problem with that, then please take me to court.
See, you have all the proof that you need that you are taking action, you don't need an attorney, and he won't take you to court, because he might have to pay for an attorney, and whether he does or not, he still looks like the fool.
I would also tell him not to harass you about that because you can get a restraining order against him and his wife for harassment.
When my ex would tell me not to threaten him, I would tell him, it's not a threat, it's a promise, if you don't leave me alone, I will take whatever action that I deem is necessary.
Many ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))), I do know how it is to deal with them.
amy
I would just tell him, well, I am taking care of it. It will be done in a few weeks, if you have a problem with that, then please take me to court.
See, you have all the proof that you need that you are taking action, you don't need an attorney, and he won't take you to court, because he might have to pay for an attorney, and whether he does or not, he still looks like the fool.
I would also tell him not to harass you about that because you can get a restraining order against him and his wife for harassment.
When my ex would tell me not to threaten him, I would tell him, it's not a threat, it's a promise, if you don't leave me alone, I will take whatever action that I deem is necessary.
Many ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))), I do know how it is to deal with them.
amy
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Yeah, I'd bet that bit about "telling the kids" is just a button he knows he can push with you, even if that button isn't connected to anything real. He knows it ramps up your anxiety about it. I can't imagine any child hearing about something like this that would do anything but yawn. It isn't even remotely interesting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Thank you all so much. I've been off the board for a few days, my daughter had oral surgery. Then went and spent time with family for the holiday. It was good to get away from it all for a while.
No more bullying has taken place, but if it does I plan to shut it right down. I do not plan to be berated for this. I am taking care of it, and that is good enough. Ugh. I will admit to anxiety over all of it, but it's so close to being done that I am just trying to take it a day at a time.
All of this has made me take a step back and see I've not come quite as far in my own healing as I would like to think. He still gets under my skin, I still react to his trauma and drama. I hate that, and am going to work on it. The good thing is that he won't be able to hold this over my head any longer.
No more bullying has taken place, but if it does I plan to shut it right down. I do not plan to be berated for this. I am taking care of it, and that is good enough. Ugh. I will admit to anxiety over all of it, but it's so close to being done that I am just trying to take it a day at a time.
All of this has made me take a step back and see I've not come quite as far in my own healing as I would like to think. He still gets under my skin, I still react to his trauma and drama. I hate that, and am going to work on it. The good thing is that he won't be able to hold this over my head any longer.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
