So you think you need to stay for the children
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
So you think you need to stay for the children
I am going to share my e, s, & h on this subject ~
it is near & dear to my heart. . .
Today, one of my 5 daughters called me to once again share how her living situation is physically abusive, emotionally unhealthy & how she is struggling to find the financially means, mentally strength & the wisdom in herself to seek another way of life.
This is not the first time for her, nor is it the only daughter of mine to struggle in this area.
I have 5 beautiful, intelligent, bright & witty daughters who have all struggled to be in healthy relationships - some physical abusive, some emotional some both.
And I carry some of the realistic guilt about this ~
As their mother, it was my responsibility to teach them by example what a healthy relationship was - I failed.
I taught them to accept lies, deceit, unfaithfulness, stealing, abuse, distrust, disrespect, and false love.
This is what they learned by me staying with an active addict/alcoholic for over 16 yrs ~
I know when we learn better we do better
and they have watched me grow into a healthier woman
but the damage is still there -
I'm not telling anyone you have to leave, you have to stay, I'm just sharing that little ones DO learn from the homes they live in ~ it does affect them as they get older ~ there is no hiding it from them ~
they do know; they learn from what they live in & what they see us do ~
I wish so much I would have thought of that so many years ago for my sweet girls.
They deserved so much better and I'm thinking so do your sweet little ones.
again just my e, s, & h
it is near & dear to my heart. . .
Today, one of my 5 daughters called me to once again share how her living situation is physically abusive, emotionally unhealthy & how she is struggling to find the financially means, mentally strength & the wisdom in herself to seek another way of life.
This is not the first time for her, nor is it the only daughter of mine to struggle in this area.
I have 5 beautiful, intelligent, bright & witty daughters who have all struggled to be in healthy relationships - some physical abusive, some emotional some both.
And I carry some of the realistic guilt about this ~
As their mother, it was my responsibility to teach them by example what a healthy relationship was - I failed.
I taught them to accept lies, deceit, unfaithfulness, stealing, abuse, distrust, disrespect, and false love.
This is what they learned by me staying with an active addict/alcoholic for over 16 yrs ~
I know when we learn better we do better
and they have watched me grow into a healthier woman
but the damage is still there -
I'm not telling anyone you have to leave, you have to stay, I'm just sharing that little ones DO learn from the homes they live in ~ it does affect them as they get older ~ there is no hiding it from them ~
they do know; they learn from what they live in & what they see us do ~
I wish so much I would have thought of that so many years ago for my sweet girls.
They deserved so much better and I'm thinking so do your sweet little ones.
again just my e, s, & h
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Miss Pink-I hear you. Truly. Sending you hugs-thank you for sharing your e, s, h.
I got the hell away from my ex when my littles were only 1 and 5.....and in that short time he had still managed to be violent on too many occasions to count, threatening, abusuve, deceitful and disgusting-so even though I got out early, I still carry guilt. They are my reason for getting out...100%. My sweet girls deserve the best.
I'll tell you what, friend. Your kiddos are pretty damn lucky to have you as a mom-open, honest, self aware, etc. No matter what your kids face, you'll be there-the strong healthy one.
Peace to you!
I got the hell away from my ex when my littles were only 1 and 5.....and in that short time he had still managed to be violent on too many occasions to count, threatening, abusuve, deceitful and disgusting-so even though I got out early, I still carry guilt. They are my reason for getting out...100%. My sweet girls deserve the best.
I'll tell you what, friend. Your kiddos are pretty damn lucky to have you as a mom-open, honest, self aware, etc. No matter what your kids face, you'll be there-the strong healthy one.
Peace to you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Btw, pink....I know it pains my mom a lot to hear what I went through-she has stated quite a few times that she should have left my father. Imagine that, I ended up in the same situation your sweet girls did....with an abusive alcoholic.
I hope my previous post did not come off rude or short-it was not my intent. I know you did the best you could at that time-and you know? Now you are a good strong role model....that's important to your girls!!
Anyway, peace, friend!
I hope my previous post did not come off rude or short-it was not my intent. I know you did the best you could at that time-and you know? Now you are a good strong role model....that's important to your girls!!
Anyway, peace, friend!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Hugs and lots of prayers for your dear girls that they find the strength they need to make good choices for themselves and their kids. Their beautiful mom is now a wonderful, living example of what CAN be and what a loving relationship looks like.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Thanks for the encouragement my friends ~
As usual, the situation worsens, the violence escalates.
She said he threw her across the room Sat nite,
She said she called the police, who did nothing
She said she went to Urgent care, she has "lumbar sprain, lumbar fracture & a herniated disc"
She sounds horrible & in pain.
But I am powerless over people, places, things & situations ~ as much as I would love to drive to her house, pick her up & take her away - there is nothing I can do but offer suggestions when she ask and ask my HP to guide her to a healthier way of life.
Just like I did with my other daughter before she got sober . . .
ODAT & the Next Right Thing
pink hugs to all,
As usual, the situation worsens, the violence escalates.
She said he threw her across the room Sat nite,
She said she called the police, who did nothing
She said she went to Urgent care, she has "lumbar sprain, lumbar fracture & a herniated disc"
She sounds horrible & in pain.
But I am powerless over people, places, things & situations ~ as much as I would love to drive to her house, pick her up & take her away - there is nothing I can do but offer suggestions when she ask and ask my HP to guide her to a healthier way of life.
Just like I did with my other daughter before she got sober . . .
ODAT & the Next Right Thing
pink hugs to all,
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