And it continues...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
And it continues...
Holding xAH "accountable" by notifying the court of his contempt actions since the final decree has resulted in the following since last week. Needless to say I am DONE holding this POS accountable for anything as he is a sociopath and bound and determined to mess with my life...
a). hired a woman whose website states she is a "legal mediator" (she has an M.Ed)
b). had said woman call and email me obsessively demanding I produce legal documents for her, required for her to "adequately" prepare xAH's documents for me as required in the final decree.
c). ignored my 3 clearly written emails saying "do not contact me any further. send anything you need signature for to me via US mail. do not continue to call or email me nor pursue contact of me by someone acting on your behalf"
d). xAH has not known where I work... The court allowed me to black it all out on docs due to his tendency to be a crazed stalker (I asked for this in a more diplomatic way).... This woman he hired, called the State Dept of Ed, alleged she was an attorney representing a client being harassed by me and was provided my employer info.
e). This woman then CALLED my Superintendent, got confirmation I work here AND made a series of slanderous allegations against me.
I learned of (d) and (e), yesterday morning when I was questioned about my alleged "harassment" of xAH during my work time by my boss.
He believed me, and I showed him the harassment was the other way around, but this woman and xAH have now humiliated me at my WORK and possibly impacted my employment as I live in an at will employment state and can not be renewed for ANY reason.
I am going to the police with my repeated written requests for this woman to stop contacting me later today but I fear further retaliation ...
a). hired a woman whose website states she is a "legal mediator" (she has an M.Ed)
b). had said woman call and email me obsessively demanding I produce legal documents for her, required for her to "adequately" prepare xAH's documents for me as required in the final decree.
c). ignored my 3 clearly written emails saying "do not contact me any further. send anything you need signature for to me via US mail. do not continue to call or email me nor pursue contact of me by someone acting on your behalf"
d). xAH has not known where I work... The court allowed me to black it all out on docs due to his tendency to be a crazed stalker (I asked for this in a more diplomatic way).... This woman he hired, called the State Dept of Ed, alleged she was an attorney representing a client being harassed by me and was provided my employer info.
e). This woman then CALLED my Superintendent, got confirmation I work here AND made a series of slanderous allegations against me.
I learned of (d) and (e), yesterday morning when I was questioned about my alleged "harassment" of xAH during my work time by my boss.
He believed me, and I showed him the harassment was the other way around, but this woman and xAH have now humiliated me at my WORK and possibly impacted my employment as I live in an at will employment state and can not be renewed for ANY reason.
I am going to the police with my repeated written requests for this woman to stop contacting me later today but I fear further retaliation ...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
Oh my, friend. I am sending you much needed hugs and support. I am truly sorry this is happening. That woman needs to be sued and lose her job-this is breaking the law. Have you told your attorney? I am here for you-just keep venting....I cannot imagine how angry you are. He is truly evil to mess with your employment!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
I did speak to my attorney. She directed me to write the last letter that I sent this am outlining the fact that her slander of me to my employer has scared me and is harassment.
The harassment has occurred in the town where I work so I will be going to the police here in my work town after work today.
It just speaks to the danger of holding a sociopath accountable...
The harassment has occurred in the town where I work so I will be going to the police here in my work town after work today.
It just speaks to the danger of holding a sociopath accountable...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy 
It just speaks to the danger of holding a sociopath accountable...
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this but am glad your boss could see the truth. Sending hugs and support, too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,423
Letting them step all over you is no solution either WTBH
It sucks, but keep the legal channels moving and don't back down.
You can't give in at this point or he will turn up the heat any time
he wants your compliance on anything.
It sucks, but keep the legal channels moving and don't back down.
You can't give in at this point or he will turn up the heat any time
he wants your compliance on anything.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Everything Hawkeye said.
I think we all know on here that once you play your cards, and try to hold an abuser responsible for anything, they will ramp up the abuse. Why? they need to see if we will back down.
It took me over 2 years of playing my ex's game with him. I will no longer back down to him.
I say go for all of it. Go for that back child support, file harassment charges, file RO's.
That ex of yours is a total A$$.
((((((hugs))))))
amy
Everything Hawkeye said.
I think we all know on here that once you play your cards, and try to hold an abuser responsible for anything, they will ramp up the abuse. Why? they need to see if we will back down.
It took me over 2 years of playing my ex's game with him. I will no longer back down to him.
I say go for all of it. Go for that back child support, file harassment charges, file RO's.
That ex of yours is a total A$$.
((((((hugs))))))
amy
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
I know its hard but Amy nailed it. He is pushing you. You back down now you will damn yourself forever because he will know he's got ya.
Let them call, let them email all they want. Turn off the phone, delete their emails, delete the VM. File an RO against her if you can and him too. Wait for the contempt hearing. Stop future tripping on the job. You have informed them of the circumstance. Trust he is not the first nutter they have dealt with.
You can't manage this dude. You play nice, he messes with you. You play fair, he messes with you. You file contempt, he messes with you. One time he is going to mess with you once too much. Even sociopaths know when to stop, when they get in real trouble.
Stay the course friend. You can do it.
Let them call, let them email all they want. Turn off the phone, delete their emails, delete the VM. File an RO against her if you can and him too. Wait for the contempt hearing. Stop future tripping on the job. You have informed them of the circumstance. Trust he is not the first nutter they have dealt with.
You can't manage this dude. You play nice, he messes with you. You play fair, he messes with you. You file contempt, he messes with you. One time he is going to mess with you once too much. Even sociopaths know when to stop, when they get in real trouble.
Stay the course friend. You can do it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
The price I am paying for holding him accountable is not worth it. This is now impacting my work. My stress level is at an all time high. I do not think that I can sustain this.
He has emailed me today demanding that I be available at 3 pm to drop the kids with him. I am AT WORK and can not do that.
He does not live around here and has not been around for his parenting on this day for two years.
Today, out of the clear blue he decides that he is taking a day off of work and claims he will be waiting at the police station for me to drop the kids with him at 3 pm.
So option 1: I leave work early, further impacting my job
or option 2: I assume he is bluffing and stay the course
This is hell.
He has emailed me today demanding that I be available at 3 pm to drop the kids with him. I am AT WORK and can not do that.
He does not live around here and has not been around for his parenting on this day for two years.
Today, out of the clear blue he decides that he is taking a day off of work and claims he will be waiting at the police station for me to drop the kids with him at 3 pm.
So option 1: I leave work early, further impacting my job
or option 2: I assume he is bluffing and stay the course
This is hell.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I can't understand why you would even TRY to entertain option #1 wtbh?
It's absurd. Why keep trying to meet his absurd demands? He can't use this against you as an example of you not complying with any agreements because he's the one that will look ridiculous.
What is he going to do if you simply ignore him?
It's absurd. Why keep trying to meet his absurd demands? He can't use this against you as an example of you not complying with any agreements because he's the one that will look ridiculous.
What is he going to do if you simply ignore him?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
WTH.....this last demand...I think, is just beyond the pale! It clearly impacts your work...and, I believe that anybody can see that. The courts---anybody..
I am not in your shoes,,,so, what I would do doesn't mean anything.....but--just for the record---I would just tell him "NO". a simple "no".
dandyion
I am not in your shoes,,,so, what I would do doesn't mean anything.....but--just for the record---I would just tell him "NO". a simple "no".
dandyion
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Call your lawyer and get her on this. The gall of this guy demanding you violate the terms of the legal agreement at a police station is just amazing.
I completely understand why you're exhausted and scared to the point of giving up, but if you give in and jump, he'll just keep poking at you just because it entertains him to watch you jump higher. He's a psychopath.
I'm so sorry.
I completely understand why you're exhausted and scared to the point of giving up, but if you give in and jump, he'll just keep poking at you just because it entertains him to watch you jump higher. He's a psychopath.
I'm so sorry.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
He has emailed me today demanding that I be available at 3 pm to drop the kids with him. I am AT WORK and can not do that.
He does not live around here and has not been around for his parenting on this day for two years.
Today, out of the clear blue he decides that he is taking a day off of work and claims he will be waiting at the police station for me to drop the kids with him at 3 pm.
He does not live around here and has not been around for his parenting on this day for two years.
Today, out of the clear blue he decides that he is taking a day off of work and claims he will be waiting at the police station for me to drop the kids with him at 3 pm.
A meeting at the police station – if he’s not met this obligation in over 2 years clearly the police and the personal at this police station could attest to that fact as well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 20
I'm sorry. This must be a completely scary situation to be in because your ex sounds like he's become truly unhinged. I agree with that caving in to him will certainly make things worse (and possibly more dangerous) for you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
WTBH-my ex tried this tactic as well when we were separated before the divorce was final....threatened me to have the kids over to mommys house before I got off of work-then laughed when I told him I couldn't do that as it would impact my job. He could care less-he's a psychopath, just like yours. Not that he even had visitation hardly ever bc he canceled most of them (but lied about that as well). They have literally done the same things....almost word for word!
Honey, don't let this psycho bully you any longer. It gets him off-bc he's a very sick individual. Just say NO and leave it at that. If he threatens you with court? Bring it-Let him show he's been more than crap on the floor decent human being-which we know he has not bc the facts speak for themselves. Remember that, he can bully and threaten and lie all he wants, but you have the facts and truth on your side and that's all that counts.
Contact your lawyer ASAP. Do not take your kids to this lunatic that is asking you to break court orders!!
Honey, don't let this psycho bully you any longer. It gets him off-bc he's a very sick individual. Just say NO and leave it at that. If he threatens you with court? Bring it-Let him show he's been more than crap on the floor decent human being-which we know he has not bc the facts speak for themselves. Remember that, he can bully and threaten and lie all he wants, but you have the facts and truth on your side and that's all that counts.
Contact your lawyer ASAP. Do not take your kids to this lunatic that is asking you to break court orders!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by FireSprite
I can't understand why you would even TRY to entertain option #1 wtbh?
It's absurd. Why keep trying to meet his absurd demands? He can't use this against you as an example of you not complying with any agreements because he's the one that will look ridiculous.
What is he going to do if you simply ignore him?
It's absurd. Why keep trying to meet his absurd demands? He can't use this against you as an example of you not complying with any agreements because he's the one that will look ridiculous.
What is he going to do if you simply ignore him?
When that didn't get a response from me, they filed a false RO which was granted.
And they got to abuse and harass me in court.
So, that's what he did a year ago at this time when I ignored him.
So, I am afraid.
He is finding one way or another to impact me negatively.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 367
I just wanted to chime in with support - I've been reading your posts, and I'm so, so sorry you're dealing with this BS.
You may be paying a high price for holding him accountable now, but I fear that the price you would pay for caving and NOT holding him accountable would be even worse for you and your children in the future.
You may be paying a high price for holding him accountable now, but I fear that the price you would pay for caving and NOT holding him accountable would be even worse for you and your children in the future.
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