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-   -   And it continues... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/387237-continues.html)

LexieCat 03-24-2016 01:39 PM

I don't think it's what you're doing that's fueling it, it's his loss of control over you. I get how hard it is--I get it as much as someone who hasn't been there can. I've seen what it does to people.

The thing is, as hard as it is now, fighting back is really the ONLY way to make him stop--short of letting this piece of crap control your life until the kids are out on their own. And believe me, he will keep pulling stuff like this, just to prove that he CAN. Making it not be in his own best interest to continue doing this sort of thing is the only way to make it stop.

Do you seriously think that he'll leave you alone if you let this slide? I don't.

Seren 03-24-2016 07:13 PM

I'm just so sorry for the torment you suffer at the hands of this crazy, crazy man.

I wish I had some advice, but I have never been in this position and have no real experience to share. I suppose I do agree with Lexie, though...

You give in to his demands--the abuse and harassment continue.
You don't give in to his demands--the abuse and harassment continue.

I wish I could tell you that I think the harassment will end if you do what he wants, but I don't think it will.

The difference, as I see it, is that if you don't give in to his demands, you keep the ground you have gained when you finally agreed to the custody and visitation plan. The black and white of the public court documents, as well as all the written evidence of the current round of harassment, has the potential to 'move the ball forward' for you and your girls. Even if just a little bit.

Ultimately, it is up to you. You are the only one who knows how much you can take on any given day. I hope and pray that things will improve very soon for you and your girls.

amy55 03-24-2016 07:26 PM

The only way I got my ex to back off of me, was to go after him.

I will always be here to support you no matter what your decision is.

((((((hugs)))))
amy


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