A Thought for 9/19
 

Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God.
--Oliver Wendell Holmes

Sometimes, in our families, we try to get parents, children or brothers or sisters to treat us the way we want them to, to do things we want them to. When they're upset or angry with us, we try to get them to stop, rather than allow them to be angry.

But our feelings are ours alone, and we are responsible only for how we feel. Those around us are not the cause of our feelings. We are.

This knowledge is a big responsibility, because we know we cannot blame others for our bad moods. But it is a fact. And this fact is also a wonderful freedom for us, for it means that we also have the power to make ourselves happy, no matter what goes on around us.

How can I make myself happy today?


From the book Today's Gift.

How do you find the strength to deal with your emotions and feelings when they are so raw? I try not to blame my AH but have found it very hard...

Lilly

Lilly,

I do blame but I try not to stay there to long b/c then I start throwing myself a pity party but the only person that ever comes is me....and no one has a good time.

At my meeting this weekend someone made the comment that our Al-Anon steps requires the three A's - Awareness, Acceptance and Action. This was a great to hear and I've had to write it down to remind myself that Action is the space I'd like to stay in as much as possible. When I'm in the blame zone, I am ususally procrastinating on doing something that I need/want to do for my own mental health but am uncomfortable with b/c it is outside of my automatic react mode.

Give it time. We're all imperfect creatures on an unknown road. That is what I am learning to accept and I like it. I don't need to be anyone other than who I am right now. Progress not Perfection...

Peace,

Petunia