Tangled34

So today I had planned on taking my dd to the parade and to town but I decided against it as AH had informed me that he was going to the parade with his new girl and her child who is the same age as dd. we live in a small town and chances are we would bump into him. Dd knows nothing about this new girl or her child and it would break her heart if she saw him with another child! he had been on a bender since last Saturday which ended yesterday and never contacted dd but text me to inform me he was and that he was a disgrace and when I didn't respond he text me again asking me to respond but I didn't... I dunno what he wants me to say... It boggles my mind why he wants me to respond and why it really matters to him anymore! Any suggestions on why he keeps bothering me when he has someone new and how to handle the situation with dd should it arise (I would like to protect her as much as I can for now where this other child is involved as it would really knock her confidence)?

It's horrible I feel like I cannot go anywhere I feel so ashamed and I can understand him hurting me as I'm and adult but why would he try and hurt his little girl like that?

AnvilheadII

he's a douche. and i doubt he is intentionally trying to HURT or HARM his daughter.....you actually have to be pretty smart to think that far ahead. this guy doesn't THINK......its also possible he's got himself into something he again doesn't have the brain power to get himself out of.....so he keeps reaching out to YOU hoping you'll send a rescue party.

i remember when my first ex left me with a baby on my shoulder.....for my "best friend" - and one night he called and said, sometimes i just wish you would come get me, Anvil..........and i said, sorry it's a bit late for that.

dandylion

Tangled.....you are expecting a drinking alcoholic to think logically and put another"s welfare before his own...????
That is like expecting pigs to fly......

Good that you are trying to protect your daughter as much as humanly possible......

Dandylion

dandylion

Tangled.....I just scanned over your past threads....and, it looks like he goes on benders and then calls you.....pushing your buttons, and, then, you end up reacting with upset and fresh misery......

Do you think that it might be time to put up some boundaries for yourself...to protect yourself from this? You are not his puppet.....
He has got his parents and his new girlfriend to look after his needs and his whims. You didn't put him in the situation that he is in...HE did!

I suggest that you consider cutting off the contact with him (as much as possible...considering you have a child together.....
Also....how about considering alanon or Celebrate Recovery for yourself......

don't let any more of life pass you by....with him as the center influence I n your life. He can't/won't give you what you need. And, your daughter is the one that will lose out.....She needs a mother that is happy and strong.......

dandylion

Flavia2

You are doing a great job protecting your daughter, Tangled. I can relate to how you feel--my XAH would regularly take the nephews places and even go to their games, but neglected his own kids.

In some ways I think he just wanted to move on from the mess he made? Or couldn't face what a crappy father he was ? Or is a narcissist?

It's like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop-- -the world may never know