It gets easier but my heart is hurting
 

It is almost 9 months later and he is still hurting my heart. I've gone no contact often and ignored the calls as much as possible. Today, our mutual friend who is enabling him since I stopped called looking for him. He's MIA. I fear he got his taxes and is out on one of his binges. I am stronger today then I was last time. I cam breathe and function so I am thanking God for that. Im scared and worried and sad that this is how life has turned out. I still love him...ugh.
Needed to vent.
Thanks for listening.
Reading this site get me though all of my rough days so thank you for that too!!

Sending you strength and hugs

May all the angels of the universe bombard you!!

No matter how much you know you are doing the right thing, it still hurts. Keep taking care of yourself the best you can.

This disease is truly horrifying.

You said you can breathe... remember back to when you couldn't? I remember when I couldn't breathe.. or eat.. or sleep... when I was a zombie at work and a quivering anxiety ridden mess at home. I didn't want to be home...but I didn't want to be out of the house. Uggg

My advice would be to just keep breathing. Lots of deep, cleansing, belly breaths.

You will keep getting stronger and the pain will get weaker. It takes time, sometimes lots of time , but as you have already noticed, it doesn't hurt as intensely as it used to. Keep breathing , putting one foot in front of the other, and things will continue to get better.

It has been almost two years out for me. I still hurt, I still grieve, I still cry.... but not nearly as much nor as often AND I am a much happier , much healthier woman then I was when I was living codependantly in a marriage to an alcoholic.

I still love my ex too, I always will. But I have learned it is OK to love someone from a distance. My life is getting better and better, because of that distance.

Sending you hugs, strength and positive thoughts!

Progress Jenny - it won't hurt forever. Congratulate yourself on how far you've come rather than looking forward to where you have to go.