Tired
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
Tired
Anyone else ever just feel....exhausted? Between my jobs, the house, kids being sick I soooo need a break. Even my therapist gave me an assignment to do something fun. For myself. But where do people find the time?
Meanwhile AH gets to live with his friend, and pretty much carefree. Schedule visits around what works for him. Sometimes I wish I could just let him have the kids for a day/night so I can have a break.
Just needed a vent...
Meanwhile AH gets to live with his friend, and pretty much carefree. Schedule visits around what works for him. Sometimes I wish I could just let him have the kids for a day/night so I can have a break.
Just needed a vent...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,872
I hear you. It is exhausting but so worth it 
do you have anyone that can help you with the kids? Just to give you some ME time? I know I'm exhausted most if the time but I find that even those nights I'm just over tired if I bust out a good workout/run I do feel better. I can tell on the days that I don't. Is there anywhere you can take the kids with you and they can play while you have some down time? Just thinking about what could help you.
Remember momma-those kids will know you were always there for them. Being a parent isn't just about doing things when convenient-or when it fits in your schedule. That's not a parent. You are doing a great job!
do you have anyone that can help you with the kids? Just to give you some ME time? I know I'm exhausted most if the time but I find that even those nights I'm just over tired if I bust out a good workout/run I do feel better. I can tell on the days that I don't. Is there anywhere you can take the kids with you and they can play while you have some down time? Just thinking about what could help you. Remember momma-those kids will know you were always there for them. Being a parent isn't just about doing things when convenient-or when it fits in your schedule. That's not a parent. You are doing a great job!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 235
You guys are my heros! I only have myself and my work to take care of and that circus is exhausting me!
You take care of the kids, the house, work, and try not to get sucked in the XAH circus, and you're still standing.
You are amazing!
You take care of the kids, the house, work, and try not to get sucked in the XAH circus, and you're still standing.
You are amazing!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
Normally I would send the kids to my MIL for a night, but DD won't go because she is worried she'll miss AH nightly phone call and wants to sleep with me. DS could care less.
I had been cleaning the local gym once a week in exchange for a membership but could never fit in time to actually use the gym. I use my lunch break to drive from one job to another, which is when my co-workers walk for some exercise.
I think the $10000 quote I got to replace my leaky roof was just a bit too much for me today. Even my normal nightly routine of some yoga isn't helping me relax before bed.
Just need to remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and things always have a way of working out.
I had been cleaning the local gym once a week in exchange for a membership but could never fit in time to actually use the gym. I use my lunch break to drive from one job to another, which is when my co-workers walk for some exercise.
I think the $10000 quote I got to replace my leaky roof was just a bit too much for me today. Even my normal nightly routine of some yoga isn't helping me relax before bed.
Just need to remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and things always have a way of working out.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Kids....kids are resilient and adaptable....if necessary.
I think that the kids need to see and understand that you need some down time to take care of yourself......
Every adult needs a little break time for themselves......
Why can't your daughter receive a phone call from your mother-in-law's house? Or just forego one night of phone call---or receive it/place it early in the evening?
Maybe she could sleep with your mother in law/grandma?.....or sleep near by her...
After all, she will have to learn to sleep alone at some point...
Having momma go away for a night or so...in the care of a good adult....teaches the some gradual independence and helps build trust that momma always comes back.....they learn to trust themselves that they can cope without you for short periods of time...
god forbid that you had to be in the hospital overnight or had to make an emergency trip for some reason.....
You don't need to feel like you are trapped in a prision of meeting other's needs every minute of every single day....even IF you are a mother.....
dandylion
I think that the kids need to see and understand that you need some down time to take care of yourself......
Every adult needs a little break time for themselves......
Why can't your daughter receive a phone call from your mother-in-law's house? Or just forego one night of phone call---or receive it/place it early in the evening?
Maybe she could sleep with your mother in law/grandma?.....or sleep near by her...
After all, she will have to learn to sleep alone at some point...
Having momma go away for a night or so...in the care of a good adult....teaches the some gradual independence and helps build trust that momma always comes back.....they learn to trust themselves that they can cope without you for short periods of time...
god forbid that you had to be in the hospital overnight or had to make an emergency trip for some reason.....
You don't need to feel like you are trapped in a prision of meeting other's needs every minute of every single day....even IF you are a mother.....
dandylion
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
When I brought up the opportunity to go away with some friends next month, my MIL, who would normally had said she'd watch the kids brought up that last time DD slept over she kept her up most of the night crying about AH not calling and wanting to come home to me. MIL was exhausted herself the next day. I took that as a sign that MIL isn't open to watching them over night. If it was an emergency, maybe she would.
Not being able to go away is a big reason why I can't accept the jobs at the county, as the training entails going away for a few weeks, a few days at a time and I don't have anyone to watch them overnight.
Not being able to go away is a big reason why I can't accept the jobs at the county, as the training entails going away for a few weeks, a few days at a time and I don't have anyone to watch them overnight.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Kids))
It is overwhelming when all the responsibility falls on one person, and of course everything seems to "hit" at once.
Sending out a specific message to your Higher Power for someone that your DD will be comfortable staying with soon ~ maybe soon a friend will come in her life that she will want to stay with & you will feel she is safe with her parents for a "play date"
Sometimes when we see no answers, our HP seems to make a way ~
Until then, rest when you can, 5 min stress relief breaks at your desk and remember This too shall pass ~ and in case no one has told you today - You are doing a really fabulous job!
pink hugs!
It is overwhelming when all the responsibility falls on one person, and of course everything seems to "hit" at once.
Sending out a specific message to your Higher Power for someone that your DD will be comfortable staying with soon ~ maybe soon a friend will come in her life that she will want to stay with & you will feel she is safe with her parents for a "play date"
Sometimes when we see no answers, our HP seems to make a way ~
Until then, rest when you can, 5 min stress relief breaks at your desk and remember This too shall pass ~ and in case no one has told you today - You are doing a really fabulous job!
pink hugs!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
KidsR$#1.........I u nderstand, now, that you have explained....about your mother in law.....
I do understand that the obstacles can be daunting......I can remember the days when I faced challenge after challenge as a single mother of three little ones!
I do like MsPINKAcres concept that things do have a way of changing, over time.....and that other opportunities for help can appear.....
You do sound like you are a bit overextended....with two jobs, and all.....
dandylion
I do understand that the obstacles can be daunting......I can remember the days when I faced challenge after challenge as a single mother of three little ones!
I do like MsPINKAcres concept that things do have a way of changing, over time.....and that other opportunities for help can appear.....
You do sound like you are a bit overextended....with two jobs, and all.....
dandylion
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by KidsR#1 
Anyone else ever just feel....exhausted? Between my jobs, the house, kids being sick I soooo need a break. Even my therapist gave me an assignment to do something fun. For myself. But where do people find the time?
Meanwhile AH gets to live with his friend, and pretty much carefree. Schedule visits around what works for him. Sometimes I wish I could just let him have the kids for a day/night so I can have a break.
Just needed a vent...
Meanwhile AH gets to live with his friend, and pretty much carefree. Schedule visits around what works for him. Sometimes I wish I could just let him have the kids for a day/night so I can have a break.
Just needed a vent...
I just need a moment to breathe and can't find it in the day... And it is taking a toll on me in all areas of my life.
Having my kids 24:7, 365 is wonderful BUT juggling their needs and schedules 100% alone day in and out and trying to coordinate that with a full time job that is demanding is really testing my abilities to manage and cope lately....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Warwick RI
Posts: 1,276
Originally Posted by KidsR#1
Normally I would send the kids to my MIL for a night, but DD won't go because she is worried she'll miss AH nightly phone call and wants to sleep with me. DS could care less.
I had been cleaning the local gym once a week in exchange for a membership but could never fit in time to actually use the gym. I use my lunch break to drive from one job to another, which is when my co-workers walk for some exercise.
I think the $10000 quote I got to replace my leaky roof was just a bit too much for me today. Even my normal nightly routine of some yoga isn't helping me relax before bed.
Just need to remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and things always have a way of working out.
I had been cleaning the local gym once a week in exchange for a membership but could never fit in time to actually use the gym. I use my lunch break to drive from one job to another, which is when my co-workers walk for some exercise.
I think the $10000 quote I got to replace my leaky roof was just a bit too much for me today. Even my normal nightly routine of some yoga isn't helping me relax before bed.
Just need to remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and things always have a way of working out.
Why can't the AH call the kids at your ML house? You do need a break and deserve one.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Oh my, yes, I know that exhausted feeling. ((((Hugs))))
I do believe that self-care is even more important when you are as stressed as you are, even though it's the LAST thing we feel like we have time to do. It was SO much harder when DD was younger, it definitely gets easier as they become more independent.
I also believe that a big part of them getting that independence & maturity is exactly this:
We have to TEACH the importance of self-care. Especially if it doesn't come naturally to us.
How old is DD? Is it possible to schedule a sleepover but have your Ex call DD earlier that day so she's not so upset? Do things really have to be on his terms ONLY?
In the absence of having a dependable babysitter, have you considered a mother's helper? It's not the same thing at all, but it can be far more affordable & get you some much needed help while helping another young girl gain some babysitting experience under supervision. If you have any friends with DDs around the appropriate age who would be interested, it might be worth looking into! I know my own DD would jump at the chance to do something like this & earn a little spending cash.
This Mama Needs Help!: How To Hire and Use a Mother?s Helper | MadameNoire
I do believe that self-care is even more important when you are as stressed as you are, even though it's the LAST thing we feel like we have time to do. It was SO much harder when DD was younger, it definitely gets easier as they become more independent.
I also believe that a big part of them getting that independence & maturity is exactly this:
Originally Posted by dandylion
I think that the kids need to see and understand that you need some down time to take care of yourself......
Every adult needs a little break time for themselves......
Every adult needs a little break time for themselves......
How old is DD? Is it possible to schedule a sleepover but have your Ex call DD earlier that day so she's not so upset? Do things really have to be on his terms ONLY?
In the absence of having a dependable babysitter, have you considered a mother's helper? It's not the same thing at all, but it can be far more affordable & get you some much needed help while helping another young girl gain some babysitting experience under supervision. If you have any friends with DDs around the appropriate age who would be interested, it might be worth looking into! I know my own DD would jump at the chance to do something like this & earn a little spending cash.
This Mama Needs Help!: How To Hire and Use a Mother?s Helper | MadameNoire
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I think the $10000 quote I got to replace my leaky roof was just a bit too much for me today.
big blue tarps are cheap and really quite in vogue these days!
i agree, roof work is insanely expensive. get at least two more quotes. when we had roof work/repairs done, they offered financing.
as far as DS and the nightly call - while young she needs to understand that sometimes we have to skip things, like ONE nightly phone call, and it's OK to have that happen. you can help coach and prepare her for that. she also needs to outgrow sleeping with mom. not to be mean, but for her own sense of autonomy and safety, that she can sleep in a bed by herself and still be OK.
and i don't see why AH (not EX yet....?????) can't call where ever SHE is??
big blue tarps are cheap and really quite in vogue these days!
i agree, roof work is insanely expensive. get at least two more quotes. when we had roof work/repairs done, they offered financing.
as far as DS and the nightly call - while young she needs to understand that sometimes we have to skip things, like ONE nightly phone call, and it's OK to have that happen. you can help coach and prepare her for that. she also needs to outgrow sleeping with mom. not to be mean, but for her own sense of autonomy and safety, that she can sleep in a bed by herself and still be OK.
and i don't see why AH (not EX yet....?????) can't call where ever SHE is??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 256
DD is 9 and DS is 6. She starts each night in her bed but comes in sometime in the middle of the night. Doesn't even wake me and I don't notice her til early am when I stir. She doesn't do it if she has a friend over.
Today was a better day. Nice out so I made a point of eating outside and going for a walk during lunch. Really helped me get through a crazy day at work.
Also got the result of our taxes. Refund is enough to cover over 1/2 the bill. I had gotten 2 estimates and the $10,000 was actually the lowest and entailed taking off 2 layers of shingles and replacing the rotten plywood where needed, where other/higher estimate did not include replacing the plywood. Going to get another, but seeing this estimate was a good friend I have a feeling he's giving me a good deal.
Thanks for all the responses. Just reminded me things I already know but forget when I start feeling overwhelmed.
Today was a better day. Nice out so I made a point of eating outside and going for a walk during lunch. Really helped me get through a crazy day at work.
Also got the result of our taxes. Refund is enough to cover over 1/2 the bill. I had gotten 2 estimates and the $10,000 was actually the lowest and entailed taking off 2 layers of shingles and replacing the rotten plywood where needed, where other/higher estimate did not include replacing the plywood. Going to get another, but seeing this estimate was a good friend I have a feeling he's giving me a good deal.
Thanks for all the responses. Just reminded me things I already know but forget when I start feeling overwhelmed.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
