Liveitwell

Many well meaning people react this way. Well, I was called to live in the light (that doesn't mean being angry or unforgiving or anything of that nature, it means not stuffing my truth into a box any longer). Let the light shine. Truth is truth. A thing is a thing.

"You own everything that happened to you. You tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better". Anne Lamott

Word.

Liveitwell

I thought about a few of us here when i saw this quote across my feed today-WTBH and others here that have dealt with this. It's awful to feel further victimization by anyone shooting arrows at you for speaking out, as if speaking out is the sin. This whole thing has taught me many life lessons, but one of the most important is that I'll never dismiss a complaint a friend has or something that is said in passing about his/her partner....bc there is prob so much more to the story than I know. And I will always listen and encourage that person to tell the truth and get help. Ive had a lot of things shown to me lately that keep reiterating truth. And standing in that truth. I wanted to share bc I think it's so vitally important for us to not second guess ourselves (trusting ourselves!!!) and to share as much as possible. The more we share, the more we heal. Anyway, my two cents!

Praying

Love this!

hopeful4

It was certainly healing for me when I stopped covering up for my XAH. I did it when we were still married, and to be honest, I think it helped him too. Drove him nuts, but also forced him to admit some things to his family that got him some additional support in his own support network that he would not have had.

So...it was freedom for me, and some help for him as well.

Kboys

Thanks FoG! Love it.
I agree with hopeful. It was definitely freeing in a way when I started talking about what was going on....

There are some things though, that I shared with his family, that I wish I would have kept to myself (and SR and Al-anon) and let them learn on their own, and things I wish I would have just said differently I guess...

But it is what it is

wanttobehealthy

This is great! I try to limit what I say about others UNLESS safety, mine, or someone's kids, or my own kids' warrants it.

And if those who would prefer I cover up for them don't like it? Too bad.

Liveitwell

^ I hear ya! I wish I would have said a lot of things differently but hindsight is 20/20...and we do the best we can in that moment. My intentions have always been pure and honest regardless. It was freeing when I started talking as well

Kboys

True! I keep reminding myself of that. I'm learning as I go

I held so much in for so long, and was such a desperate mess at the time, that when I finally started sharing with Step MIL and FIL, it just all came spewing out .... But they have always been a strong support for me and for XAH, and were understanding. .... MIL on the other hand.... well.... not so much