Sanity tips
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 158
Hi Kata
I think youīre doing great, focusing on yourself until you get the strength to make more radical changes in your relationship.
To answer your question on a previous post, I translate english/spanish and also dutch once in a while (grew up in Holland). Itīs nice to see another translator here, and I can imagine doing this kind of work with AD must be pretty challenging!
As for sanity tips, Iīve found it helps me a lot to clean out closets or drawers for example when Iīm stressed, or just vacuum my house. I began following the konmari method and find it very therapeutic. Doing the dishes is also one of those mind-numbing tasks that I find very relaxing. I think anything you do with your hands can be helpful in stressful times. I like to knit and crochet for the same reason.
Another thing that helps me is music, I sing in a choir at the moment and it really makes me forget all my problems when weīre rehearsing. Itīs also a great way to feel part of a whole. Now that Iīm trying to work on myself too, I decided never to skip practice anymore (I found that I would do that whenever someone needed my attention).
Oh yes and it does help to reread the books I loved as a girl, there is something soothing in it.
I havenīt seen Abf in about a month, though weīre supposedly still together. Itīs a strange situation but itīs given me some space to put my emotions in place. I think he isnīt making too much noise nor demanding to see me because the last time we saw each other I voiced my concern about his drinking. The few times weīve spoken over the phone he did talk about alcohol, made some provocative childish comments just to let me know he did not intend to stop drinking. I feel like I donīt care anymore, and itīs a bit offensive that he is trying to make it seem like Iīm the one who wants to control and change him! When he is the one who wants to turn me into a vodka-supplying geisha.
Anyway, I donīt think I couldīve seen things so clearly if I hadn`t stopped seeing him for a while. No contact is really useful, perhaps you can disentangle yourself from this situation if you take some time off.
I think youīre doing great, focusing on yourself until you get the strength to make more radical changes in your relationship.
To answer your question on a previous post, I translate english/spanish and also dutch once in a while (grew up in Holland). Itīs nice to see another translator here, and I can imagine doing this kind of work with AD must be pretty challenging!
As for sanity tips, Iīve found it helps me a lot to clean out closets or drawers for example when Iīm stressed, or just vacuum my house. I began following the konmari method and find it very therapeutic. Doing the dishes is also one of those mind-numbing tasks that I find very relaxing. I think anything you do with your hands can be helpful in stressful times. I like to knit and crochet for the same reason.
Another thing that helps me is music, I sing in a choir at the moment and it really makes me forget all my problems when weīre rehearsing. Itīs also a great way to feel part of a whole. Now that Iīm trying to work on myself too, I decided never to skip practice anymore (I found that I would do that whenever someone needed my attention).
Oh yes and it does help to reread the books I loved as a girl, there is something soothing in it.
I havenīt seen Abf in about a month, though weīre supposedly still together. Itīs a strange situation but itīs given me some space to put my emotions in place. I think he isnīt making too much noise nor demanding to see me because the last time we saw each other I voiced my concern about his drinking. The few times weīve spoken over the phone he did talk about alcohol, made some provocative childish comments just to let me know he did not intend to stop drinking. I feel like I donīt care anymore, and itīs a bit offensive that he is trying to make it seem like Iīm the one who wants to control and change him! When he is the one who wants to turn me into a vodka-supplying geisha.
Anyway, I donīt think I couldīve seen things so clearly if I hadn`t stopped seeing him for a while. No contact is really useful, perhaps you can disentangle yourself from this situation if you take some time off.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 235
Bluelily, I think we're dating the same overgrown child. However, mine would rather transform me into a Jameson-supplying geisha. As I don't drink much, I don't see why I should use my hard earn money buying him alcohol.
Music helps me too. But no choir signing for me, as I don't enjoy making other people ears bleed. But I do a lot of kitchen dancing and signing (I make sure to close all the windows before)! These days, my kitchen dancing and signing has been done on It's my Life from Bon Jovi (a girl has to have a guilty pleasure)! I'm sure if people were to see me, they would think it's a great comedy show!
The decision not to skip my dance classes has been my best decision of the last year. I used to skip because "I had too much work". I finally said enough. I already work most weekends and don't take many days off, i'm not going to work every night too!
Yes, translating isn't always easy with ADHD, but I do take Concerta. I also exercise a lot, so that helps (I have the whole adhd package, plus impulsivity). Being a freelancer has also helped a lot, as I can bend my schedule to the periods of the day where I most attentive and sprinkle a bit of exercise during my day.
I haven't seen much of my ABF either, a bit 4 hours in the past 3 weeks. It has helped me detach and see things more clearly. At the moment, he's still sucking up to me a bit, while hoping (I think) for me to apologize for having left him on a street corner the other night because He had been disrespectful!
Music helps me too. But no choir signing for me, as I don't enjoy making other people ears bleed. But I do a lot of kitchen dancing and signing (I make sure to close all the windows before)! These days, my kitchen dancing and signing has been done on It's my Life from Bon Jovi (a girl has to have a guilty pleasure)! I'm sure if people were to see me, they would think it's a great comedy show!
The decision not to skip my dance classes has been my best decision of the last year. I used to skip because "I had too much work". I finally said enough. I already work most weekends and don't take many days off, i'm not going to work every night too!
Yes, translating isn't always easy with ADHD, but I do take Concerta. I also exercise a lot, so that helps (I have the whole adhd package, plus impulsivity). Being a freelancer has also helped a lot, as I can bend my schedule to the periods of the day where I most attentive and sprinkle a bit of exercise during my day.
I haven't seen much of my ABF either, a bit 4 hours in the past 3 weeks. It has helped me detach and see things more clearly. At the moment, he's still sucking up to me a bit, while hoping (I think) for me to apologize for having left him on a street corner the other night because He had been disrespectful!
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