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Old 03-09-2016, 04:16 PM
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"Sometimes, Dolores... sometimes, you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes, being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto."
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Old 03-09-2016, 04:16 PM
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One of my favorite movies.

Sometimes, you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes, being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto.
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Old 03-09-2016, 04:24 PM
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It was an excellent movie. I own that movie, and do watch it from time to time.
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Old 03-09-2016, 04:30 PM
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I LOVE the way tu handled it.

My suggestion would be to file a motion to amend the order to include the kinds of provisions she's talking about. There is absolutely NO reason a court would find any of that unreasonable. It is taking NOTHING away from his parenting time--all he needs to do is follow the order.

If he were a reasonable human being those kinds of provisions might not be necessary, but it's the only way you can safely live your life without worrying about being held in contempt. I don't think the court could FIND you in contempt, but I think having those provisions would lessen your level of worry about it.

The modification is very small--it doesn't seek a reduction or change in the parenting schedule, it merely ensures that he can't keep you hanging all weekend on the off chance he should decide to show up.
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Old 03-09-2016, 04:36 PM
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Lexie,

I totally agree with this. The other thing was WTBH filing her own motion for contempt of court for the garnishment. I don't think it would be good, (I could be wrong) about doing it at the same time. I could be looked upon as vindictive, and trying to limit visitation. What are your thoughts on that?

He owes her thousands (tens of thousands in arrears).

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Old 03-09-2016, 05:03 PM
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xAH's wages are being garnished as of about a week ago. He also owes the IRS a lot of money and wages are being garnished by them too. So clearly some of this insanity from him

I should file an amendment to ask that provisions be in place for these kind of last minute bs things-- that is an excellent idea Lexie (& others who gave great examples from your own decrees).

Any suggestions about how to phrase appropriately for court, something to the effect of "when the d-bag skips his time, he doesn't get to harass me to reschedule around his drinking schedule"
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Old 03-09-2016, 05:13 PM
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I am so happy that his wages are being garnished now. You did really good.

Don't know how helpful I could be with the child visitation, since I never went thru this, but still here to support you 100%.

(((((hugs)))))
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Old 03-09-2016, 05:26 PM
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The wages thing was easy-- my lawyer sent the USO along with a wage garnishment letter to his employer and voila- there you go. I did not even have to go to court for it.

I feared he would retaliate and so I let him get away with not paying forever... He owes a lot in past wages too but I do not want to fight over it in court... Just having him have to pay the court ordered amt now is fine w me...

And while I dont make a ton, I can survive on just what I make and I have to say there is a peace to be had in knowing that. I do not want to have to depend on him in any way.

The $ I will get for as long as he stays employed, I will put into savings for the kids and continue to live frugally on just my income. I think that's the safest bet for me.
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Old 03-09-2016, 05:31 PM
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ok, I'll try this.

Please refer to the part of the divorce decree that specifies child visitation. It states that you need to pick them up at the police station at ?pm on Fridays. If you do you adhere to this, I am unable to make special accommodations for you.

It also states that you need to let me know by Wednesday if this is not OK with your schedule.

The court order states Friday pm to Saturday am. I will not deviate from that, unless there are special circumstances, such as a death in the family.

I work all week, and I have a life also. I will not change my life so that you can come and go whenever you want. (Obviously don't add that in) lol. That would be JADE. (justify, argue, defend, explain).

Hopefully, someone has a better option and language.

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Old 03-09-2016, 07:13 PM
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Only thing I have to add is: pray for him. I mean really pray for him that God convicts him of his sins. It will give you much needed peace and harmony in your own life while he continues to rage and battle in his own life. Peace in the storm.
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Old 03-09-2016, 07:37 PM
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I like the way tu phrased it in her post:
  • DS and I could go do other stuff on the days that AXH didn't show up or didn't show up with a visitation supervisor.
  • I could say no to schedules or revisions to schedules that AXH proposed (demanded) - last minute or otherwise.
I can't suggest the exact language, but your lawyer probably could.
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Old 03-09-2016, 07:44 PM
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I still would never let over $10,000 plus or more of arrears go.
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