How do you break up with an alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,414
What atalose says times X1000
Don't discuss, do it and block the number or you leave yourself open
to guilt trips and manipulation. . .
Focus on your kids, and their best life, if you can't do it for yourself alone. . .
Don't discuss, do it and block the number or you leave yourself open
to guilt trips and manipulation. . .
Focus on your kids, and their best life, if you can't do it for yourself alone. . .
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 158
Thanks everyone so much for your advice and support!
I tend to forget how irrational his way of thinking is, and still feel like I have to behave towards him as if he were a reasonable, healthy non-addict. But his level of denial runs so deep, it´s almost bizarre. I just remembered when making plans for the weekend for instance he has often told me he plans to stay home and drink. As if it were a perfectly normal hobby! And apparently I´m supposed to sit there and keep him company (though I never drink).
The other thing I´m realizing is that he always asks me to accompany him to family events, even to just visiting his parents, to give the appearance of normalcy. Like he is leading a normal life, and has a normal non-alcoholic girlfriend. At the same time, he seems concerned they will try to control his drinking through me, and try to find out if and how much he is drinking. So I´m strictly prohibited to give them any information about him, also about the fact that he lost his job.
It´s really a terrible position to be in, it´s like the whole burden of his sickness rests on my shoulders. I realize I´m quite naive, not having understood this situation sooner, but I´m ready to let this burden go.
I tend to forget how irrational his way of thinking is, and still feel like I have to behave towards him as if he were a reasonable, healthy non-addict. But his level of denial runs so deep, it´s almost bizarre. I just remembered when making plans for the weekend for instance he has often told me he plans to stay home and drink. As if it were a perfectly normal hobby! And apparently I´m supposed to sit there and keep him company (though I never drink).
The other thing I´m realizing is that he always asks me to accompany him to family events, even to just visiting his parents, to give the appearance of normalcy. Like he is leading a normal life, and has a normal non-alcoholic girlfriend. At the same time, he seems concerned they will try to control his drinking through me, and try to find out if and how much he is drinking. So I´m strictly prohibited to give them any information about him, also about the fact that he lost his job.
It´s really a terrible position to be in, it´s like the whole burden of his sickness rests on my shoulders. I realize I´m quite naive, not having understood this situation sooner, but I´m ready to let this burden go.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 142
Originally Posted by bluelily 
Thanks everyone so much for your advice and support!
I tend to forget how irrational his way of thinking is, and still feel like I have to behave towards him as if he were a reasonable, healthy non-addict. But his level of denial runs so deep, it´s almost bizarre. I just remembered when making plans for the weekend for instance he has often told me he plans to stay home and drink. As if it were a perfectly normal hobby! And apparently I´m supposed to sit there and keep him company (though I never drink).
The other thing I´m realizing is that he always asks me to accompany him to family events, even to just visiting his parents, to give the appearance of normalcy. Like he is leading a normal life, and has a normal non-alcoholic girlfriend. At the same time, he seems concerned they will try to control his drinking through me, and try to find out if and how much he is drinking. So I´m strictly prohibited to give them any information about him, also about the fact that he lost his job.
It´s really a terrible position to be in, it´s like the whole burden of his sickness rests on my shoulders. I realize I´m quite naive, not having understood this situation sooner, but I´m ready to let this burden go.
I tend to forget how irrational his way of thinking is, and still feel like I have to behave towards him as if he were a reasonable, healthy non-addict. But his level of denial runs so deep, it´s almost bizarre. I just remembered when making plans for the weekend for instance he has often told me he plans to stay home and drink. As if it were a perfectly normal hobby! And apparently I´m supposed to sit there and keep him company (though I never drink).
The other thing I´m realizing is that he always asks me to accompany him to family events, even to just visiting his parents, to give the appearance of normalcy. Like he is leading a normal life, and has a normal non-alcoholic girlfriend. At the same time, he seems concerned they will try to control his drinking through me, and try to find out if and how much he is drinking. So I´m strictly prohibited to give them any information about him, also about the fact that he lost his job.
It´s really a terrible position to be in, it´s like the whole burden of his sickness rests on my shoulders. I realize I´m quite naive, not having understood this situation sooner, but I´m ready to let this burden go.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,981
Originally Posted by bluelily
Thanks everyone so much for your advice and support!
I tend to forget how irrational his way of thinking is, and still feel like I have to behave towards him as if he were a reasonable, healthy non-addict. But his level of denial runs so deep, it´s almost bizarre. I just remembered when making plans for the weekend for instance he has often told me he plans to stay home and drink. As if it were a perfectly normal hobby! And apparently I´m supposed to sit there and keep him company (though I never drink).
The other thing I´m realizing is that he always asks me to accompany him to family events, even to just visiting his parents, to give the appearance of normalcy. Like he is leading a normal life, and has a normal non-alcoholic girlfriend. At the same time, he seems concerned they will try to control his drinking through me, and try to find out if and how much he is drinking. So I´m strictly prohibited to give them any information about him, also about the fact that he lost his job.
It´s really a terrible position to be in, it´s like the whole burden of his sickness rests on my shoulders. I realize I´m quite naive, not having understood this situation sooner, but I´m ready to let this burden go.
I tend to forget how irrational his way of thinking is, and still feel like I have to behave towards him as if he were a reasonable, healthy non-addict. But his level of denial runs so deep, it´s almost bizarre. I just remembered when making plans for the weekend for instance he has often told me he plans to stay home and drink. As if it were a perfectly normal hobby! And apparently I´m supposed to sit there and keep him company (though I never drink).
The other thing I´m realizing is that he always asks me to accompany him to family events, even to just visiting his parents, to give the appearance of normalcy. Like he is leading a normal life, and has a normal non-alcoholic girlfriend. At the same time, he seems concerned they will try to control his drinking through me, and try to find out if and how much he is drinking. So I´m strictly prohibited to give them any information about him, also about the fact that he lost his job.
It´s really a terrible position to be in, it´s like the whole burden of his sickness rests on my shoulders. I realize I´m quite naive, not having understood this situation sooner, but I´m ready to let this burden go.
I hope you close the door on this relationship as quickly and permanently as possible. Let us know how it goes and be as kind and compassionate with YOURSELF as you possibly can be!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
