My Dad
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 2
My Dad
Hi,
I am new here. I am so confused and miserable. Here is my story.
I am 36 years old, married with 2 kids, and a full time job. I have a sister in the same position as me.
My father is a 62 year old alcoholic, and has been all of my life. I havent really had much to do with him (his choice) for years. Alcohol has always been more important than anything else to him. Well my step mother just recently died of cancer. My sister and I were told that he needed help and didnt want to move out of the house. Before her death she put her neice on their checking account. She stole $1000 dollars out of that, and we then found out that checks had been taken out of my dads mailbox and cashed by her forging my dead step mothers name one them. We turned her into police, had her arrested, and my father made us power of attorney over him. My father is disabled from a stroke, and lives on disability. He falls alot. He also has a growing abdominal anyerism. He is adamant about staying in his house. We took him to see his doctor a few weeks ago and the Dr said he would need to go to a treatment facility to dry out because he would have seizures, and has before. Well Monday he had blood in his stool. We took him to the hospital. He has Aschemic Colitis. The doctor says it is from drinking, medication, and the fact that he doesnt hardly eat. (maybe 1x a day). They are drying him out. He is none too happy to be there, and has been giving the nurses a fit. (wont let them give him his medicine, wants a cigarette, tries to get out of the bed, wont let them take his blood pressure, etc.) When he finally is able to come home he will be clean. But he is so frail I wonder how in the world he is going to be able to stay in that house alone. I cant afford to quit my job. He cant come live with us because he is not too friendly at all when he wants alcohol and doesnt get it, or when he is drunk. Everyone has agreed to not get him anymore alcohol.
I dont know what I am asking. I am so confused, and dont know where to turn. I know he has to want to quit drinking. But he doesnt even think he has a problem. He has ruined his whole life, and still doesnt think there is a problem with his drinking. He cannot drive to get the alcohol. We are going to try and make sure he doesnt get it. He is going to hate us for doing this to him, but it is the only way he is going to live. The Dr said he is killing himself.
Thanks for listening.
Flower
I am new here. I am so confused and miserable. Here is my story.
I am 36 years old, married with 2 kids, and a full time job. I have a sister in the same position as me.
My father is a 62 year old alcoholic, and has been all of my life. I havent really had much to do with him (his choice) for years. Alcohol has always been more important than anything else to him. Well my step mother just recently died of cancer. My sister and I were told that he needed help and didnt want to move out of the house. Before her death she put her neice on their checking account. She stole $1000 dollars out of that, and we then found out that checks had been taken out of my dads mailbox and cashed by her forging my dead step mothers name one them. We turned her into police, had her arrested, and my father made us power of attorney over him. My father is disabled from a stroke, and lives on disability. He falls alot. He also has a growing abdominal anyerism. He is adamant about staying in his house. We took him to see his doctor a few weeks ago and the Dr said he would need to go to a treatment facility to dry out because he would have seizures, and has before. Well Monday he had blood in his stool. We took him to the hospital. He has Aschemic Colitis. The doctor says it is from drinking, medication, and the fact that he doesnt hardly eat. (maybe 1x a day). They are drying him out. He is none too happy to be there, and has been giving the nurses a fit. (wont let them give him his medicine, wants a cigarette, tries to get out of the bed, wont let them take his blood pressure, etc.) When he finally is able to come home he will be clean. But he is so frail I wonder how in the world he is going to be able to stay in that house alone. I cant afford to quit my job. He cant come live with us because he is not too friendly at all when he wants alcohol and doesnt get it, or when he is drunk. Everyone has agreed to not get him anymore alcohol.
I dont know what I am asking. I am so confused, and dont know where to turn. I know he has to want to quit drinking. But he doesnt even think he has a problem. He has ruined his whole life, and still doesnt think there is a problem with his drinking. He cannot drive to get the alcohol. We are going to try and make sure he doesnt get it. He is going to hate us for doing this to him, but it is the only way he is going to live. The Dr said he is killing himself.
Thanks for listening.
Flower
{tap}{tap}...Is this thing on?
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Getting There
Posts: 276
Flower,
Glad you are here to unload your troubles. Is there a social services agency where your father lives that could help find home care? I understand making the decision that someone cannot live with you but there are other options that will ensure that a person is well taken care of but where they don't have to live with you.
The serenity prayer may be the best option for now...give it to your HP, who will take it if you really give it away. Keep the faith in yourself, your life and the serenity of your family are very valuable treasures.
I hope you'll come back when you need to unload again.
Peace,
Petunia
Glad you are here to unload your troubles. Is there a social services agency where your father lives that could help find home care? I understand making the decision that someone cannot live with you but there are other options that will ensure that a person is well taken care of but where they don't have to live with you.
The serenity prayer may be the best option for now...give it to your HP, who will take it if you really give it away. Keep the faith in yourself, your life and the serenity of your family are very valuable treasures.
I hope you'll come back when you need to unload again.
Peace,
Petunia
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 2
Petunia,
Thanks for replying to my message. I pray every day about this and for my father to be able to come out of this terrible situation that he has put himself in. I have faith that everything happens for a reason and I just haven't figured this one out.
Sunday night I started to have chest pains. I thought it would go away if I just went to sleep but when I woke up Monday morning it was still hurting. I got worried that I may be having a heart attack so I went to the Dr. and they did an EKG (I think) on me. They said everything seemed fine with my heart and asked me about my personal life. He told me it was all of the stress and gave me Xanax. Whew that stuff will knock you on your butt. I feel better today and havent taken any. I dont want to take it. It makes me feel loopy. But it did make my chest stop hurting.
Dad is coming along pretty good at the hospital and seems to be recovering from the colitis. He called me this morning to find out what time I got off of work so that I could pick him up and take him home. He just wants to leave the hospital even if he isnt better. My husband says it is because he wants a drink and hasnt had one for almost 2 weeks. I agree. The fear now is that when he gets home we are not going to give him anything. He doesnt know this yet. He doesnt have anyone to call to bring it to him, so he is at the mercy of us. I know he is going to hate me and my sister for not giving him the liquor. We havent told him this yet. We dont know if we should tell him while he is in the hospital or let him know when he gets home. I am just so in the dark about all of this, and it seems like something else happens everyday.
As I am typing this he has called my job again asking me to get him out of there. He is a grown man and should not have to be told that they are only keeping him there until he is well enough to go home. He says he is fine. He is definitely not fine. ARGHHHH!
I thought I was supposed to be the child not the parent of my own father. I have kids of my own and a husband to take care of. I am irritated this morning.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for replying to my message. I pray every day about this and for my father to be able to come out of this terrible situation that he has put himself in. I have faith that everything happens for a reason and I just haven't figured this one out.
Sunday night I started to have chest pains. I thought it would go away if I just went to sleep but when I woke up Monday morning it was still hurting. I got worried that I may be having a heart attack so I went to the Dr. and they did an EKG (I think) on me. They said everything seemed fine with my heart and asked me about my personal life. He told me it was all of the stress and gave me Xanax. Whew that stuff will knock you on your butt. I feel better today and havent taken any. I dont want to take it. It makes me feel loopy. But it did make my chest stop hurting.
Dad is coming along pretty good at the hospital and seems to be recovering from the colitis. He called me this morning to find out what time I got off of work so that I could pick him up and take him home. He just wants to leave the hospital even if he isnt better. My husband says it is because he wants a drink and hasnt had one for almost 2 weeks. I agree. The fear now is that when he gets home we are not going to give him anything. He doesnt know this yet. He doesnt have anyone to call to bring it to him, so he is at the mercy of us. I know he is going to hate me and my sister for not giving him the liquor. We havent told him this yet. We dont know if we should tell him while he is in the hospital or let him know when he gets home. I am just so in the dark about all of this, and it seems like something else happens everyday.
As I am typing this he has called my job again asking me to get him out of there. He is a grown man and should not have to be told that they are only keeping him there until he is well enough to go home. He says he is fine. He is definitely not fine. ARGHHHH!
I thought I was supposed to be the child not the parent of my own father. I have kids of my own and a husband to take care of. I am irritated this morning.
Thanks for listening.
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