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Third time's the charm

Old 02-28-2016, 05:19 PM
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Third time's the charm

Everyone told me to try AlAnon (26 y.o. AS). Went a year ago to a local meeting. The facilitator was the only person there, and really just wanted to tell me her story....the entire time.

Went again to a different local group. Twelve people, nothing but traditions talk. Very impersonal. Gave up after three meetings.

Son relapsed last week and I decided to try a third place. It was life-changing. Met 5 wonderful women who could not have been kinder to me. I felt like I was finally home. The religion part was not overwhelming at all., which has always made me a little wary.

The whole experience has carried me through the weekend and has given me a much better perspective. I just want to tell everyone to give it a few shots. I'm more peaceful than I've been in a long time.

Thanks for reading & we are all in this together. Hang in there.
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Old 02-28-2016, 05:25 PM
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It took me a few tries as well. Funny how they really all have such different feels. I agree about the Traditions talk. The first meeting I ever went to was just an hour of talk about how they are self supporting. Um, okay. I don't know why they'd ever dedicate a significant amount of meeting time to Traditions, but maybe that's just me.
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Old 02-28-2016, 07:11 PM
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In the beginning, it was hard for me to see what the traditions had to do w/me and my problems. The traditions tend not to be something that newcomers are terribly interested in, since they are usually just trying to survive, I think. I know that I needed a certain degree of recovery before I could be concerned about the mechanics of how the groups work and how Alanon as a whole works.

I've been involved w/Alanon and SR for not quite 3 years, and there is a world of difference in how I understand recovery in general and Alanon in particular between March of 2013 and now. I'm sure I'm still only scratching the surface and have plenty to learn as I move forward.
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Old 02-28-2016, 07:28 PM
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INgal, thanks so very much for this.

I often suggest folks try alanon although I have never gone regularly. I know different meetings have a different feel. I hope this group continues to be a huge support for you.
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Old 02-29-2016, 07:02 AM
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Good stuff!

When you find a group you really click with it is truly life changing!

Hugs!
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Old 02-29-2016, 03:44 PM
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Yeah, Traditions will make more sense to you after you've been around Al-Anon for a little while. It's what keeps us from killing each other, lol. An AA oldtimer used to say at every meeting "The Steps will keep you from committing suicide; the Traditions will keep you from committing homicide."

Glad you found a good meeting that meets your needs for right now!
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Old 02-29-2016, 07:00 PM
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I'm so glad you've found a good group!
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Old 02-29-2016, 07:06 PM
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i wish more people would give AA/Alanon, 12 step recovery a chance....get into the meat of it all.....READ the book, read the literature, absorb it, study it, discuss it......work the process. it is such a simple and yet almost indefinably complex system. brilliant in its simplicity, requiring nothing, demanding nothing.

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

hey, here it is, here is what worked for us, take it or leave it.
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